This Trailer Has The Worst Forced Commentary You'll Ever Hear

Ubisoft has already taught the world about the horrors of manufactured banter in trailers for games like Rainbow Six: Siege and The Division.

But unlike most people, Capcom apparently thought Ubisoft were onto something. After all, if you're making a horror game why not hype it up with horrible chatter? That appears to be the logic behind the latest trailer for Umbrella Corps, a 3v3 competitive shooter spin-off from the Resident Evil series.

Umbrella Corps doesn't launch until next year, but part of me is wishing that was moved forward to tomorrow just so I don't have to listen to anything this bad ever again. Here's some of the highlights from Capcom's scripted commentary:

One commentator: "We're about to watch some Umbrella Corps gameplay here. We have the Bravo and Alpha team getting suited up for battle." The other: "Some good gear, you're gonna wear that."

Oh God.

"Intense point-blank fire fight. Alpha Team made the smart move and took cover. That's one Bravo Team member down!" "Intelligent use of cover," the other commentator mumbles.

Umbrella Corps is a third-person cover shooter. You know, those games where using cover is automated.

It's Friday though, so perhaps today is the best time for a train wreck. Let's watch.

"That's what they talk about when they talk about competitive shooters, Matt."

No, Capcom, no they bloody well do not. There's a lot that can be said about this Umbrella Corps video -- being good isn't one of them. Resident Evil and eSports just doesn't mix.


    I don't know, how is that any different from any other Youtube video? :P

    Also, am I the only person who thinks the movement is too fast? The speed they move even while crawling is ridiculous.

      It isn't, it's just that people generally seem to be desensitized to cringeworthy dialogue and discussion over there.

    Nowhere near as bad as any of Ubisoft's multiplayer gameplay videos.

    Commentator: "Contact! Grenade out!"

    Me: *Groans internally*

    I don't like to say mean things about stuff, but that was not good....

    I don't get the sense that this is scripted. Unlike the amusing Division trailer, I think the goofiness here comes from commentators making stuff up off the cuff and trying to make a kind of mediocre looking game seem more exciting than it actually is.

    On another note - most placid zombies ever.

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