White House Doctor: We Need Millennials To Stay Healthy Because They Know How To Speedrun Video Games

White House Doctor: We Need Millennials To Stay Healthy Because They Know How To Speedrun Video Games
Photo: Brendan Smialowski, Getty Images

During today’s White House press conference the Trump administration’s Coronavirus Task Force response coordinator, Dr. Deborah Birx, called on millenials to take the threat of infection more seriously. Why? Because they are “part of that group that brought us innovation, particularly throughout all of their ability to look around corners and skip through games.”

“I always went level by level,” Birx said. “I didn’t realise you could go from level three to level seven—that’s what they’ve taught us. They look for things that we don’t see, we need them to be healthy.” It’s unclear which game Birx was talking about. Maybe Super Mario Bros. 3.

The remark came after she cited unspecified reports out of France and Italy that many young people have fallen seriously ill due to coronavirus. She went on to speculate that this may be the result of younger people thinking the virus is only dangerous to older people and those with preexisting medical conditions.

Apparently millennials’ innovative approach to gaming doesn’t translate to employing proper social distancing measures. Seriously, everyone, keep you distance to help slow the spread of this disease. 

Comments

  • I really feel like I’m watching an The Office style show sometimes when I see the things coming out of the White House.

    • Oh, you’re not alone. It’s not even the good episodes of the office either. It’s the ones where you go “there is no way even the most insane person could say that.”

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