Can we ever truly know the nature of the sea? Primordial creatures lurk in its depths. It’s powered by outer space. We still don’t understand how eels reproduce. In Valheim, however, it’s a bit simpler: The ocean is a trampoline.
On the Valheim subreddit, a player named HotGuuuuu recently unveiled the fruits of multiple days of labour: A gargantuan, gravity defying ramp that took an absurd amount of time to assemble even with the assistance of cheats. To christen the ramp, HotGuuuuu spawned a boat at the top and flew down the side of a mountain.
The inevitable outcome of this Godzilla-sized take on a high school physics experiment, of course, was a collision with the ocean. And indeed, HotGuuuuu’s seacraft did eventually make it out to sea — at several hundred miles per hour. This caused the boat to bounce hundreds of feet into the sky, at which point it tumbled end over end until its voyage finally concluded in the branches of a forest.
Questions remain about HotGuuuuu’s findings. Did the boat bounce off the ocean itself, or did it make contact with the bottom of the shallows so rapidly that it only appeared to ping off the surface of the sea? Where, in the great superhero sandwich of particles and collisions that is the universe, is the trampoline? We may never know. All I can say for certain is that the boat bounced, and that’s proof enough for me that the trampoline exists.
I’m getting the impression that maybe, just maybe, Valheim’s five-person development team might be onto something. Since the Viking survival game’s Steam release earlier this month, it’s sold 3 million copies. Over the weekend, more than 500,000 people played it at once. But what do players actually think? That you...Read more
Valheim rules. Exploring is fun, building is fun, kiting trolls around islands while crying quietly to yourself as you tap dance on the razor’s edge of death is fun. But nothing is perfect, especially not early access games. So I don’t think we need to kid ourselves here: Valheim’s inventory...Read more
My time with Valheim so far can be summed up thusly: I killed a fuckton of deer. They screamed in fear and died in agony. It made me sad. Then I killed the biggest, meanest deer ever conceived, and it was metal as hell.Read more