Pokémon Unite Patch To Fix Game’s Most Broken Monster, Greedent The Terror

Pokémon Unite Patch To Fix Game’s Most Broken Monster, Greedent The Terror
Screenshot: TiMi Studio Group

When Pokémon Unite devs TiMi Studio Group announced that the next character for the game would be Greedent, many scratched their heads. Others, I presume, had to Google what generation the squirrel-like monster even hailed from. And some fans just scrunched up their noses and thought, why?

Mind you, there’s nothing wrong with Greedent in theory. He’s cute, I guess. The problem, if you could even call it that, is that it’s just not a particularly badass inclusion, especially next to ones like Charizard. Still, as with all new characters introduced to the game, when Greedent became available, I bought him immediately. My goal was to learn him inside and out so that I’m never caught off-guard in ranked.

As a defender, Greedent is meant to stay back a bit and hold down the fort, especially when players are pushing an attack on your dunking area. Depending on the build, some defenders can and do hit hard: Blastoise, for example, can pretty much be played as an attacker with the right build. To a point, at least.

Greedent was on another level entirely. Greedent may not be cool, but it is absolutely packed with strengths. You can produce healing berries almost at will. There’s a move that, when triggered, will not only spawn a ton of berries but also allow you to move faster with each berry eaten. Eating enough berries also gives Greedent a shield. If Greedent doesn’t eat the berry, his teammates can, so it’s still useful. And finally, we’ve got Belch.

God damn. I don’t think I’ve seen a single Pokémon hit nearly as hard as Greedent once did with Belch. This fucker, no lie, can take away 75 per cent of your health within seconds. (At least it does in my build, which includes Weakness Policy, something that increases your attack proportionally to the damage received.) Oh, but even worse, the area of attack for Belch is fairly wide. You can definitely fit at least three enemies in there. Folks with more know-how than me claim it can actually out-damage the rest of the competition, which is definitely not its intended role.

It was so bad that, even on Ranked, I felt completely comfortable overextending Greedent into the enemy zone. We’re talking past a completely intact goal zone and into the part of the map where your character will start slowing down. There Greedent would be, stealing the attack and defence monsters near your team’s entryway. Once, I think I even saw someone playing Greedent as a jungler.

Greedent was not meant for any of these things!

Now, as a Greedent player, I’d say it takes at least some skill to pull off those devastating moves. It takes a second to unleash, and if you happen to be pulling belches mid-Pac-Man berry time, Greedent continues barreling forward. Changing his course requires a U-turn or some expert drifting action. He’s basically like a wind-up car, meaning it takes some finessing to control him when he’s at his most powerful.

But even so, I don’t blame the devs for taking action here. Per the most recent patch notes for Pokémon Unite, Greedent is getting a massive nerf to go alongside the new season. Greedent will recover less, have a smaller shield, and the dreadful Belch will see its damage decreased. Bullet Seed is the only move that’s getting buffed per recent patch notes, which is great because that move is so useless that I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone run it.

The patch goes live on Wednesday, along with the other new content. Greedent is hardly the only pocket monster affected by the upcoming patch, though. My girl Ninetails is getting a good buff, with special attack going up and Blizzard getting increased damage and reduced cooldown. You can see the rest of the patch notes here, courtesy of leading Pokemon website, Serebii.

Beyond putting Greedent back in his place, the patch will introduce a summer-themed season, a number of cool skins and customisation options, and a new battle pass. Looking at them now, all I can think of is, Dang, I wish I played Crustle.

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