There are many things to do in Disney Dreamlight Valley.
According to the newest trailer from last night’s Nintendo Direct Mini, the land of Dreamlight Valley was once ‘an idyllic land’. That was, of course, until all their stuff got stinked on. Everything went to the crapper, houses went missing, ducks were sad. It was a dark time.
The stinker in question? A mysterious force called ‘The Forgetting’. I know The Forgetting all too well, as I am a Silly Sally who do be forgetting. I’d forget my heinie if it weren’t farting. Is that the phrase? I think it is.
Anyway, The Forgetting got to work stinking up the place and now it sucks, so it’s up to Playable Character to spray some Air Wick around and get the stink out. And hey, that Playable Character might just be me!
Alongside fixing up Dreamlight Valley (because apparently the Disney characters can’t do anything without the help of a random stranger), you also get to do fun activities with the different Disney folk that live in the land. From the looks of the trailer, the activities seem to line up with the characters’ whole shtick.
You cook with Remy the rat from Ratatouille, you clean up garbage and plant new life with Wall-E from Wall-E, and you go fishing with the snow abomination Olaf from Frozen.
But what else is there to do? More importantly, what else is there to don’t? I’ve decided to look at the many characters from the Disney franchise, and give some ideas for what you probably can’t do in Disney Dreamlight Valley.
Cursing wooden little boys to a life of truth with the Blue Fairy
Some may think that what the Blue Fairy did was really nice, but we have to remember that she essentially brought a child to life and then immediately put a curse on him.
I think one of the activities in Disney Dreamlight Valley probably won’t be finding the little wooden boy creations of sad, lonely old men and bringing them to life… at a price. You probably wouldn’t even get to choose the curse too.
For example: you can bring a little wooden boy to life, but every time he lies, one of his teeth becomes sentient, grows a face, and will always scream.
But you can’t do that, sorry.
Smoking with the Caterpillar
The whole Alice in Wonderland situation is packed to the brim with illicit drug-taking. They’re all clearly on something.
The caterpillar seems pretty chill though, so I think a cool activity would be to get in a 2004 Toyota Camry Altise with the caterpillar and hotbox it with a big fat stinky doink. Just really shmoke it up with that roly-poly fella. But alas, this is a game filled with characters from children’s media, so you probably won’t be able to do this.
Even though the caterpillar got high in the Disney movie, you’re not allowed.
Eating 60 eggs in one sitting with Gaston
Gaston looks like this because when he was a child, he would eat 48 eggs in one sitting in the morning, and then moved to 60 eggs when he became an adult.
I think it would make logical sense for an activity in Disney Dreamlight Valley to be forcing yourself to eat 60 eggs in one sitting. Specifically after lighting up with the caterpillar. During this process, you are getting horrendously sick. This is disgusting, what you are doing. For that reason alone, I don’t think it will make an appearance, as it might scare the other Disney characters.
Being told the saddest things you’ve ever heard with Eeyore
This is one I definitely think they will not include.
You must sit with the World’s Saddest Ass for 4 hours straight while he tells you of all the sadness in the world. These activities would be unskippable, vital in finishing the game, must be done every day, and you cannot turn your console or PC off while they are happening. War, famine, sad animal facts, stark reminders of your own mortality. These are all things that Eeyore would go over.
Why do I think this would not make an appearance in Disney Dreamlight Valley? Well, it’s not very fun at all, obviously.
Stealing whatever you need from Scrooge McDuck
This one is less an activity WITH Scrooge McDuck, but more like an ACT UPON Scrooge McDuck.
Scrooge McDuck, according to Forbes’ Fictional 15 list, is worth $65.4 billion USD. That’s too much money for one duck, but it seems unlikely that you will be allowed to take his exorbitant wealth from him.
In fact, according to the trailer, it looks like you might actually have to help him rebuild his mansion. Hate that. You should be able to steal from the duck.
Jokes aside, I have to admit that I will probably play this game at launch, and I will probably have fun. However, I want to be able to steal from Scrooge McDuck.
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