Have you ever been playing a game on your Xbox, perhaps a Halo or a Forza, and thought to yourself, “This gaming experience would be vastly improved if there were an Xbox-themed food stuff to slob on”? If you have ever had this thought before, you are going to lose your shit with this news.
Xbox has announced on Xbox Wire that they will be releasing their own special edition Xbox Oreos, which will consist of a packet of six cookies each with their own unique designs. The designs in question are the Xbox symbol, the A, B, X and Y symbols, and a directional symbol.
According to the blog post, Xbox fans will also be able to ‘scan the Oreo Xbox Special Edition cookies’ (it is unclear as to whether they mean the packet or the cookies themselves) and ‘unlock a range of prizes’ by ‘cracking exclusive cookie combinations inspired by the cheat codes hidden in games throughout history’. Yeah!
So what are the Xbox Oreo prizes, then? Well, completing the ‘cookie combinations’ will unlock Oreo-themed armour packs and vehicle skins for Forza Horizon 5, Sea of Thieves, and Halo Infinite (pictured below).
On top of the quirked-up Xbox Oreo virtual swag, the cookie eaters will also be entered into the draw to win prizes such as ‘custom Oreo hardware’, consoles, Game Pass Ultimate memberships, and ‘a holiday experience for the whole family’.
However, there’s a catch. You want the Xbox Oreos but you don’t live in Europe? Too bad! These cream-filled baby-size sandwiches are only going to be available in Europe, so if you’re not there, you’re not getting the cookies. Sorry.
Now for the serious question: why don’t the Xbox Oreos have green cream? For the Lady Gaga Chromatica Oreos, the cookies were pink while the cream filling was green. How come Xbox, the green guys, would not also opt for green cream?
I decided to take to the internet, the most reliable place for information, and ask people what first comes to mind when they hear the phrase ‘green cream’ in the hopes that it might enlighten me as to why Xbox opted out of green cream in their Oreos. Here’s what came from that:
- Shrek porn
- Shrek coming out of a tube of toothpaste in the dead of night
- That dumb coloured sunblock stuff that cricketers put on their cheeks
- Someone forgot their cream in the office fridge over Christmas
- Body Lotion from somewhere like Lush or The Body Shop
- Saag Paneer
- Mike Wazowski
- Weed cum
- Grinch’s jizz
- Pistachio ice cream
- What’s left on the plate after finishing the green eggs and ham
- Sustainably sourced cums
- Wasabi
- See a urologist
- Those Ghostbusters promotional Twinkies from 2016
- Hulk smash
- A bangin’ new euphemism for cash money
- Grinch cum
- Pesto
- Shrek
- Venereal disease
- Avocado
- Milk infused toothpase
- Shrek cum
- Gak
- Luigi becoming aroused
- Shrek cum
I think I now understand why the Xbox Oreos do not have green cream.
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