Recently, I asked Kotaku Australia readers to share their most cooked video game retail stories with us, and you lot did not disappoint. From disgruntled parents, dodgy trade-ins, and a surprisingly large number of tales featuring actual human faeces, retail staff in brick and mortar game stores have seen it all. Your stories truly make Rostered On skits look like they’re part of a documentary, which I find simultaneously deeply amusing and horrifying.
There was a whole tonne of responses on the original article and social media, so we collate them here for posterity. This is a piece for those of you keen to either commiserate with other video game retail staff. For those who wish to share further war stories, or for the nosy among you that want to know just how cursed things can get behind a till. In this piece, you’ll find some of the most wild (and hilarious) experiences you’ve reported in the comments and on social. You’re troopers, the lot of you, and living proof that time spent in retail customer service is important for character-building purposes.
Better out than in
As I mentioned, there were a strangely high number of shit (and other bodily fluids) stories to wade through. Honestly, one story probably would’ve still been too many.
From our very own David Smith:
Someone straight up took a shit in one of the games aisles. Just a huge triceratops grogan right there between the headphones wall and the PS3 games.
From Craig:
When I was 21… yes, someone once, somehow, left behind a massive s*** under one of the video game aisles.
From Colin:
I…had a mother leave a used nappy under the DVD shelves in one store, and in another someone spewed under the dvd shelving again. Safe to say I left the company pretty soon after.
One Saturday morning a Dad came in with his 9 or 10 year old son and said something along the lines to his kid “I’ll be right back” and just walked out, leaving his son in the store with me.
At first I was shocked but then didn’t think much of it until the kid started doing the piss shuffle, trying to play the Xbox game kiosk with one hand while pinching down hard with his other hand. All of a sudden this kid runs right out to our front door and pisses himself on the footpath. Before I could comprehend what was going on, this kid then just bolts down the street and that was it. His dad later came back to the store and noticed his kid wasn’t there and then left down the street in the same direction. The dad then walked back with the kid doing his walk of shame with piss soaked shorts while his dad [gave] him hell for doing what he did.
From Rose:
Someone stopped in the aisle, paused, shook their leg and [a] turd rolled out of the bottom of their pants, and they left. We had to watch it on the cameras to find out what happened.
And perhaps the granddaddy of all ‘better out than in’ video game retail stories, from Priscilla (@Cillah on X):
Just a teenager working at [a games retail store] when a woman went into labour and her partner kept browsing the PS2 bin for cheap games and still completed his purchase.
The kids aren’t alright (and neither are the parents, clearly)
In typical retail horror story fashion, frustrated parents, entitled kids, and family drama to rival that of the most extra telenovellas also seem to be par for the course for video game retail staff.
From Rose:
Having to explain to a clueless but inquisitive mum why GTAV has the R18+ rating, and getting maddogged by the 11y/o that wanted her to buy it.
From Craig:
Had a customer contact us, pleading if we had any Nintendo DS Lite’s in stock and as luck would have it, we had one left. He asked me if I could hold it for him. So, over the phone, I collected his details, and he was going to be in the store within half an hour. The manager approved of the holding. I stuck a piece of paper with tape onto [the] DS box, and had it in one of the back stock rooms on a holding shelf we had.
The customer arrived within the half hour as he said. So, I went to get the item for him and as uh, “luck would have it”, the DS was gone. The piece of paper with his details was left crumpled on the floor. One of my colleagues took the DS and sold it to another customer.
This customer then proceeded to absolutely blast me in the store, telling him that I “f***ed me (him) over” and that I “ruined” his daughter’s Christmas. He then “hoped” that my Christmas would be awful. He called me a few other fun names, as well.
Put them in the bin
And, of course, what would working in video game retail be without a bevy of creepy customer interactions?
From Morgan:
Being cornered in the loading dock after work the night before a FIFA release by a group of guys who had been lurking in the car park – tried to coerce me into giving it out early, I awkwardly made up something about the delivery being due in the morning and hid inside until they left.
From Ruby:
Had a customer once say to me while processing a trade in “you better make sure all those games are in there or else Mr. *video game store name* might come and spank you. you might like that though, wouldn’t you?”
he was there with his kids, my shithead good-for-nothing creep of a manager was right next to me and did nothing, and to top it all off, i was only 17! very cool!
From Miri:
My personal favourite, the customer who added me to a Facebook group chat with about twenty random women to lament why none of us would date him, followed up with the line, “if only sniper rifles were legal”. Good times. Great times. Just the best.
There were so many more absolutely mind-blowing video game store customer interactions that you all shared, and a great deal of them will be burnt into my brain for a long time to come alongside my own retail horror stories (thankfully involving a lot less human excrement). Thanks for getting amongst it, folks, you’re all real ones.
If you’re after more horrific customer interactions, cursed retail experiences, or a good laugh to get over yet another Karen tearing you a new one or creepy patron asking for your number, you can tune in to Rostered On, the Aussie comedy show about about the staff at a fictional electronics chain over the next week on PEDESTRIAN TELEVISION, which is streaming on 9Now (channels which, I should add, our parent company, and our parent company’s parent company, own).
Godspeed, retail staff.
Image: Rostered On
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