Hello! I’ve come here today to explain something that apparently still needs explaining: Women play video games.
Photo Illustration by Elena Scotti/Kotaku/GMG, photos via Shutterstock
I know, it’s a radical concept. (As plenty of you are doubtless aware, it is not a radical concept.) Yet here in the year 2017, it’s apparently still really easy to assume that despite the fact that A) video games are awesome and B) video games have been a huge part of mainstream popular culture for decades, women do not play video games. But they do.
I know that many of you reading this are on the same page. If so, cool. Keep doing what you’re doing. But you may be surprised how many people still think that women, as a general rule, do not play video games. Ask any woman you know — who, again, probably plays video games — and she will likely have a story about someone assuming that she, a woman, does not play video games. Despite the fact that she does.
Basically every woman I know who works in games or plays a lot of games regularly has people assume she doesn’t. A quick survey today of several of the women I work alongside at Kotaku confirmed that, yes, this is a frequent occurrence. In fact, for women at game conferences such as E3, it often gets a lot worse than having someone assume you don’t play games. The basic truth of the matter still bears repeating, however, so I’m going to repeat it now: Women play video games.
The assumption I’m talking about is rarely made with the intention of hurting someone’s feelings. Like most assumptions, it doesn’t require much thought at all. But if you have ever assumed that maybe women don’t play video games, take this opportunity to remind yourself that in fact, they do.
If you are a man (or if you’re not!) out at a social gathering, talking with some friends about video games, and a woman comes up and joins the conversation, do yourself a favour: Assume she plays video games. Don’t ask, “Do you play video games?” Instead, ask, “What kind of games do you play?”
If she says, “Oh, I don’t really play games,” no big deal. Change the subject to TV, or music, or the weather. (Some people may argue that the weather is not an interesting subject of conversation; I say there’s a reason it’s a conversational default.) But if she does play video games, chances are she will have repeatedly dealt with people who assume that she doesn’t. Which is stupid, because women play video games. They just do.
Comments
87 responses to “Women Play Video Games”
Women who work with kotaku play video games?
WELL COLOUR ME SURPRISED!
Kotaku has a zombie workforce?
Gamers are dead.
No wonder Bethesda blacklisted them.
(Necromancy is outlawed in Cyrodiil)
Of course the people at Kotaku play video games. It’s Polygon’s staff that don’t play them. Remember their attempt at playing Doom? 😛
Oh yeah I’d forgotten that.
Am surprised an article like this even needs to exist in this day and age. Isnt only 12 yr old boys that still believe GIRL in a game means Guy In Real Life?
I’m guessing Kirk just needed some easy clicks from people like us?
Yeah I had a little voice shouting as I opened the page, “Oh dude it’s just trying to get your cli…aww man you clicked it.”
ROFL my exact thoughts.
What a pointless article, I still feel like most of the people I interact with male or female don’t care about video games. Even working in IT most of my colleagues aren’t gamer’s.
I would wager 99% of the people that read Kotaku know that women play games.
Not to mention how condescending it all sounded.
I’d refer everyone to my previous comment. Hopefully the context of it all helps. It’s not targeted at you guys, who are awesome, it’s highlighting something in the industry that most people don’t see.
You’d think that with all these women gamers Kotaku could find a stock image of one that actually looks like they’re playing a game…
If someone starts talking about games, then it seems daft to ask them if they play games – male or female. If someone stays in a conversation without saying anything it’s reasonable to assume they have an interest, though “do you play games?” is not an unreasonable question to ask a person.
I don’t assume anyone plays video games, reads books, rides bikes or rabidly watches Game of Thrones.
Microsoft opened their Xbox press conference with a girl holding a controller. That’s it, folks, the Gender Wars are over, move along.
I was wondering when I was going to get my daily dose of clickbait…
Everyone slows down to look at the cop car :S
I’m beginning to wonder if any of the people there are actually playing bloody video games…
In my personal experience – being a woman who plays video games is rarely an issue in Australia. I’ve worked on a team of all guys (except for me), all gamers, and no one was weird or condescending about me being a gamer. I haven’t had any negative experiences going to PAX Aus. The only vaguely negative experience I’ve had is that EB staff have a tendency to assume that I’m buying games for my (non-existent) kids rather than for myself. I can deal with that.
However, I’m not the only woman gamer in Australia, so my experience shouldn’t be taken as standard. I also think that being a woman gamer seems to be more problematic in the US, where the sexist douchebag ratio seems to be a bit higher the gaming world. I’ve seen way too many women gamers share some very concerning stories – it’s not pretty.
But do you play video games? Oh crap I mean, what kind of video games do you pl…actually these questions are stupid.
Can I borrow some games?
It’s also like about wherever it’s coming from. Some women probably have a bad time and have nothing to say about it and some women probably have a good time and nothing to say about that either. We then get an article when someone definitely has something to say, whether it’s correlating or not.
I’m a male in my late 40s, EB staff also assume I am buying games for my kids…
When I purchased a Switch and BotW from EB earlier this year, the sales person asked if it was for my son or daughter.
At least they included the daughter option.
Doing better than Nintendo did! 😛
Just start talking about games they’ve probably never heard of. That usually works with me. There’s only one dude I’ve encountered that is a massive JRPG fan (like me). Everyone else scratches their heads and smiles politely when I talk about God Wars: Future Past or Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony.
Yes, I definitely think age is a factor here too (I’m 39).
I’m sorry, but when you have journalists making videos like this
getting asked if they play videogames is pretty reasonable.
Also, the complaint that this article is in response to doesn’t mention gender. It was her who made that assumption.
In that Polygon video the guy is playing with a Playstation controller. Putting anything else about the reviewer aside (like him supposedly not even liking video games), I know I’m about as uncoordinated as that with a controller in FPS games too, even though I have 20 years gaming experience and can play just fine with mouse/keyboard.
I always neglect to remember that, thank you for reminding me.
If it’s not too much, remind me again in two weeks, I might forget.
‘What games do you play?’ … what a strange thing to ask someone who has just come into a conversation.
Seriously, how is it offensive to ask someone if they take part in a particular hobby if you’ve never met them before?
Will there somehow be an insinuated “you play Farmville, don’t you” in the question “what games do you play?”
Kotaku says Farmville is a game, so insinuating that should be fine.
Apparently it’s quite offensive, if you listen to articles like this.
Agree. I’ve used the “Do you play games?” line many times before. To me it seems like a great opener to see if we share a hobby. Doesn’t matter if they’re male or female, I use the line.
It’s also a good line to branch off from. “Do you play games?” “You do? Awesome! Video, board, or both?” “Both huh? Do you have a favourite board game?” “Oh, I haven’t heard of that one. What’s it about?”
Yet in this day and age they are still reqiored to use a wired dual shock? I cannot believe people.
Gotta keep them safely tethered so you don’t lose ’em?
Of course! It also means they are on-hand to tell you that you misspelled “required”.
I truly wonder how many stereotypes are kept alive SOLELY by people doing things like, oh I don’t know, writing articles about how the stereotype still exists.
What’s a “woman”?
Something that’s too hard to animate.
Now now, you, you need to stop being so tough here… don’t u be hard… be kinder… u be soft…
I don’t understand this sentence. So these women pretend that they don’t play games? Are they ashamed?
In conversations, they’re assumed to not play games. I.e. treated with surprise when saying they play games or excluded because it’s assumed they don’t play games or treated as a “fake gamer” when they say they play games.
People can also get quite hostile when their assumptions are challenged (regardless of the manner in which they are challenged), which I imagine would lead to some awkward conversations.
https://twitter.com/NintendoVS/status/874783892808519680
https://twitter.com/NintendoVS/status/875146442968408066
Yeah we know.
How about if I said I wished more women played games.
Is that bad?
Yes, it means you’re either a pervert or a misandrist.
😉
Ah good old Kotaku, always here to help us with our natural conversing and social encounters. Hell without this article I might possibly offend a female by asking her if she plays video games, the horror!
Was this low effort article written just to fill space?
Why would I assume that anyone plays games, male OR female? People who identify themselves as gamers are largely in the minority.
On top of that, if I were to choose EITHER sex to make an assumption about identifying as a gamer, I’d choose the sex that had a higher representation (ie. males).
Lastly, if you are the type of person who is offended by somebody assuming you don’t play video games (male OR female), you need professional help. There are bigger problems in the world.
I’d say the lady holding the controller in the image wouldn’t be playing for long….. locking your elbows in like that all straight armed yikes!!!!
Nah, I’ll be fine thanks. I ask males if they play games so I see no reason to discriminate women and assume they play them when I offer more courtesy to men.
Believe it or not – if you don’t work in the games industry then you interact with a lot of people who don’t play games and don’t care about games. I’m in an office with around 100 scientists and engineers, male and female and out of all those people there’s maybe 5 who play games, and there’s two or three of us that play them more than once every week or two.
Even the younger graduates that have only just come out of uni don’t play games, crazy right?
What’s even crazier is that in a games company there are people who don’t necessarily play games either.
True. My point was more just pointing out that the attitude of this article comes from a “bubble” that is outside the experience of the majority of the population. Most people don’t work in a gaming related industry so women being asked whether they play games or not is perfectly acceptable, the same as when I ask men.
The problem with this article (well, a problem) is that I know this, you know this, everyone on this site knows this. The people who don’t know this aren’t the sort to read articles like this!
It’s a bit wanky.
This is pretty much on point, in the sense that it’s not targeted at the awesome readers here who already get it.
It’s pointing out that this shit is still happening – and to people in the industry, even for those appearing for professional appointments to see a video game as representatives of tech and video game sites. It’s mind-boggingly stupid that it still happens. It’s happened to colleagues of mine in Australia. And perchance, some of those people might come across articles like this.
Thanks to people who understand that this isn’t targeting them personally. I think everyone appreciates that all the writers, AU and abroad, are always open to feedback and adjusting based off that.
And of course, if anyone wants to contact me privately to pass their thoughts or concerns on, please do. I try and respond as quickly as I can, unless I’m literally just about to fall asleep or something like that.
What a joke, not shit, they are called gamers.
Women not only play games… more women than men play games they also play more games. Microsoft studief this for years trying to figure out why flash games were more popular than their first Xbox.
Men tend to play games by focusing and mastering/completing a game then moving to the next. The quintessential hardcore gamer. Men are also likely to quit playing games if they cant play their way and devout time to this hardcore/completionist/competitive style. Men are less likely to go casualol and would rather pick another interest. (Like watching every football game, or golf)
Women tend to play games more casually and will play several games at once jumping from game to game based on themes. Story and puzzles… quick games. Flash games took off because of women, Tetris is the most popular game in the world cause female market share. Whole mobile phone game industry exists because of women.
People around here are pretty good folks, so it’s important to remember: because you’re a unbiased person, chances are you have surrounded yourself by like-minded people. It’s easy to forget there’s a sizable chunk of people out there that aren’t so great.
Be on the lookout for when you see other people getting treated less than, because of any difference in sex, gender, race or sexual orientation.
Most of all, when someone flags an issues, like the first link, never dismiss them outright.
When there’s an article like this, there’s no need for almost 50 comments of people saying “I’m not sexist, how dare you, you lazy click-bait-y writer”. They are pointing out an issue, not calling you out.
But it’s so much fun to hate on Kotaku and make more work for @alexwalker
Who are they pointing it out to though? Evangelism only really works when it’s targeted at the right audience, and I think you’d be hard-pressed to find people in Kotaku’s readership that don’t already know beyond shadow of a doubt that women gamers exist.
Just because this particular readership is mindful of the subject doesn’t mean that the people in their broader circle are. There is an opportunity for people within a community to ensure that community is welcoming to any and all.
“Be good people” doesn’t strike me as a meaningful call to arms. Words attributed to Plato come to mind:
Or in this context, like-minded people don’t need guidance like this to help those around them, while those with contrary views won’t be persuaded by it.
Of course everyone knows women gamers exist, the point I got was that people don’t act like they know woman gamers exists to the point where female journalists are still being asked if they play games while trying to interview at E3.
I can understand some people’s reaction to the thought exercise at the end, it’s a little too presumptive on how you would talk to anyone in general, but the idea behind it is great to check for unconscious bias: Repeat the scenario of someone walking up to a conversation about gaming you’re involved in. Would you treat the person any differently whether they are a man or a woman and if so, why?
Checking for and recognising unconscious bias shouldn’t be about proving you’re a bad person, I’d actually say the opposite, it should be giving you a chance to recognise faults and to grow as a person. Unfortunately, often before that can happen, aggression from both sides can flare up causing people to become overly defensive and rejecting the idea of growth.
On your last paragraph I agree wholeheartedly. But that’s also why this article misses the mark for me, because it does come across as preachy and I don’t generally like being lectured, even if I agree with the premise.
Side note, I have been on the developer side of the coin once before, back in 2010 or 2011, can’t remember exactly. The number of media outlets, even ones supposedly focused on video gaming, that send utterly clueless people to cover conventions is more than you might think. I’m not saying women don’t necessarily get asked the question more often, but asking the question at all, man or woman, ends up being a bit of a default opening after about the fifth time you start talking shop and the journalist gives you a blank stare.
That’s just from my personal experience of course, and I only attended one convention under the developer label. I just don’t see the question, generally speaking, as a gender issue and more as a ‘do I need to explain the basics or can I skip to the good stuff’ issue.
Wait wait wait.. those last paragraphs.. so if im having a conversation with friends about games, and a girl comes up and says she doesnt play games, im required to change the topic of conversation to something that suits her?
Hell no!
Yeah, no, fuck her.
But only if she wants to. That’s a wholeeeee ‘nother thing.
Girls play games? R U SERIOUS!?
…
Wait, I’m a girl and I play games.
You mean I’m not a special little snowflake?
Nuuuuuuuuuu!
Don’t mind me, just messing around =P
The real emerging market is dog gamers. Everyone assumes dogs don’t play video games but there are millions of dogs worldwide tail-wagging and running excitedly in circles at the chance to beat our shitty human high scores. Mark my words, one day you’ll come home and discover someone 100% cleared Assassin’s Creed Origins and your dog will give you that look that says “psh human please, didn’t even pant a sweat”.
Assassin Creed? Try bloodbourne!
Well Souls games are a given really. Dogs have a natural talent for sniffing out weak points on enemies 🙂
Maybe that was the target audience all along!
So, my dog wasn’t trying to eat my phone? She was actually trying to beat my Word Cookies level?
Mind. Blown.
I know everyone has done it already, but I too want to be one of those people that would like to point out that this is a most likely unnecessary article that’s been made purely to score clicks.
“Women play video games”, written by a Caucasian male.
Sorry, I had to throw that last part in there. A bit of immature pot-stirring on my part.
In all seriousness, I think the main reason (or my reason anyway) for people taking a stab or two at this article is because it’s written in such a condescending manner. I honestly feel like I’m being spoken down to by someone thinking I am some sort of child incapable of thinking for themselves.
I’m confident that, regardless of gender, the readers of Kotaku would know that yes, women play games. My partner plays games. My middle/older brother’s partner plays games. My eldest brother’s fiance’ plays games. My female colleagues at work play games. I go to PAX every year and I see a lot of women of various ages, playing games.
We understand. We, your readers, do not need to be told how we should speak to others in social gatherings. I think most of us are old and wise enough to know how to speak to others.
I’ve said this one too many times now but seriously, sometimes I think the authors of Kotaku write these articles to create negative engagement like this, to get a flood of comments of people telling them not to bother, to in a sense, create controversy to get those mad clicks.
“Succès de scandale”, which according to ol’ mate Wikipedia has echoed the phrase “there is no such thing as bad publicity”.
I’d refer to my comment below. The context matters.
I’ve met/known more women who don’t play/have 0 interest in games and women who prefer watching games to playing them than I’ve met/known that actually play them; I often make the assumption that most don’t play games.
Again, it’s got nothing to do with the women you know/who play games/prefer watching games.
If you were holding a booking at E3, and you had someone come up for an appointment, and they represented a tech and/or video games website, would you openly be asking them whether they played video games or not?
It’s the condescension that’s the problem. It’s not necessary, and it’s demeaning to the writers/journos/content creators who have to deal with it.
Yes! This! Context is everything.
The tweet that inspired this article was of a games journalist, at E3, trying to do her job, and being asked if she played games. She’d have had a press pass to flash, for starters. How many male games journos would be asked if they played games?
It’s not like she was on a bus, or in a club or some other neutral venue.
Yes I would ask. Not everybody does and you know what they say about assumptions…
If you invite a fellow professional to see a product you’re showing and then ask them if they have any interest in that product when they show up for their pre-arranged booking … well, it’s not a great way to start the conversation.
Happens regularly enough that it can still warrant asking.
With phone games and everything nowadays, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone under the age of about 35 in most developed countries that don’t play a game at least periodically. Definitely the case under 25. It’s the norm, not the exception. Hell, my mother plays games and she’s in her 60s.
Having been annoyed enough by this article to sign up to comment, I’ve now read ALL the comments and others have mostly addressed what annoyed me already. Sweet.
I think the author had a point to make but it didn’t make it into this article. If it’s about something that happened in the US to a journo address that directly, don’t tell me how to be presumptuous the ‘right’ way.
I found the comments more enlightening, esp. one alluding to the lack of ability for many to realise the ‘rest of the world’ isn’t just an extrapolation of America. Although it’s easy to see why this happens.
For what it’s worth I’m male, play games more than I should, and know a lot of people. Not a huge amount of them are into games, and of those that are maybe 1/4 are female. But then again it’s not something people admit to all the time or necessarily want to talk about over other topics so who knows.
I mean… you can still comment as a guest. Won’t get notifications of replies, but you can still put words out there at least 😛
Ahhh, cheers. Too late now though!
Its not 1999 any more. You need to get over this idea that you think no one thinks girls play games.
I think the article is a bit off point for this audience, but given the click reaction to gender-related articles on here a good move to generate revenue.
A better approach, and one that many of the gamergater regulars on here would be less pleased with, would be to ask ‘Do you think women are EQUAL gamers?’
Here’s the thing. While you will get the vast majority of non-MRA men to say they believe in equality, the reality is that what most believe in is near equality. The social conditioning against actually accepting women as pure equals, or even superiors, is the strongest thing to break. Guys are more than happy to be proud of how smart their girlfriends are for example – but verrrrry few actually want said gf to be as smart as them or even smarter.
It’s the most deep-seated level of power conflict and one where only a tiny fraction of people truly are comfortable handing it off. Though good luck getting people to admit it – you’ll observe through behaviour, not admission.
When it comes to a hobby sector like gaming that has been viciously gender-biased for decades, I’ll put good money on this not being any different.
So sure, while the ‘regulars’ here may indeed know that women are gamers, I wonder if they are able to, right down the line, accept that women are gamers to the same level they are? That’s in terms of skills, passion, history, and focus.
Again, I imagine it would be very easy for people to be stung by this and type out a haughty OF COURSE I DO response.
I imagine behavioural observation would be quite different – and we have plenty of evidence to support it.
Sonny, there weren’t none of them on the c64 back in ’83. Hadda play Impossible Mission all by my lonesome. I saw a real girl once.