It’s not often I get to proclaim myself an athlete, and today isn’t going to change that, but I will say that I owned the shit out of my computer-controlled opponents today in Kinect Sports Season Two.
“Xbox,” I say, “Streak 20,” and the huddle breaks. My quarterback trots up to the line. I instinctively half-squat and reach out my hands, placing them under the giant rear end of an invisible lineman. “Hike!”