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In Real Life

How Bad User Interfaces Are Ruining Video Games And Other Wonderful Things

I can summarise my experience designing user interfaces like this: if you were to place a refrigerator and a toilet side by side in a room with no windows and a door that locked from the inside, 9.3 out of 10 people entering that room would defecate in the freezer and urinate on the floor.

March 1, 2012
In Real Life

The Beautifully Melancholy Chrono Cross Was Unfairly Overlooked

Japanese RPGs used to be a lot more controversial. Or maybe it was just because I was a teenager during the genre’s heyday — you know, when Final Fantasy games flew off shelves, when hours of CG cutscenes featuring teary-eyed androgynes were considered breathtaking rather than tiresome — and teenagers like to argue about things on the internet a lot more than people my age can stomach.

February 29, 2012
In Real Life

The Konami Code Shows Up In The Strangest Places

There are misdemeanours I have committed in this life, I’ll admit it. For example, I recently got a ticket for jaywalking and it cost me $US200. For jaywalking. I’m still very angry about this situation and am actively devising a plan to exact revenge on the LAPD, and guess what! Now you’re all accomplices.

February 8, 2012
In Real Life

Forget Call Of Duty And Battlefield. Real Military Training Needs A Different Kind Of Game

You’re playing a game like Battlefield 3 or Call of Duty, shooting and grenading left and right. And you’re thinking, “Wow, what an awesomely realistic game. The Navy Seals should be playing this.”

January 6, 2012
In Real Life

Last Year’s Best, New(ish) Video Game Ideas

2011 was yet another good year for video games, but on its face it was a little predictable.

December 2, 2011
In Real Life

I Love Metal Gear, But I Don’t Want A Metal Gear Solid 5.

I am pretty much the biggest Metal Gear Solid fan there is, and I really, really hope that Metal Gear Solid 5 doesn’t happen.

November 26, 2011
In Real Life

Let’s Eat More Video Games For Breakfast!

I know what you’re thinking, and stop it. “Hey, Lisa, what makes you think you are an authority on such a hard-hitting journalistic subject like breakfast cereal? Redheads are unreliable sources 65 per cent of the time, plus they make up statistics.”

November 1, 2011
In Real Life

I’m Tired Of Being A ‘Woman In Games’. I’m A Person.

Sexism in games remains an unsolved problem, it’s clear. Some of you will be nodding along, and some of you will hear the s-word and roll your eyes and go, “Oh, this again?” You guys can piss off — go click on some new screenshots or a trailer consisting of a release date slowly fading into view. You’re hopeless.

October 19, 2011
In Real Life

New Life+: If Life Were A Game, How Would You Replay It?

You’re lying on your deathbed. Family members of the closest kind test the capacity limit of the hospital room, and finish off what was left of the tissue boxes. The nurse’s shoes squeak on the tile floor from the many fallen teardrops. She checks your monitors one last time. A warm hand clasps yours; you squeeze back.

September 23, 2011
In Real Life

A Birthday Letter To Myself About Video Games

Many video games turning twenty-five this year could set themselves on a podium and brag until their throats are sore. “Hey, I’m Castlevania and I’ve released over 30 games in the last quarter-century. What have you done?”

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