How About A Call Of Duty That Shows The Human Side Of Not Fighting A War

War is hell, and it never changes. Even when game developers promise to depict the more human side of military conflict, it all boils down to shooting other people as close to the face as possible.

I want a game that shows the human side of not fighting a war. Something like Call of Duty: Unheeded.

Call of Duty: Unheeded is an imaginary game Luke Plunkett and I came up with around the time EA announced Medal of Honor: Warfighter, another game aiming to depict the more human side of battle. Me, I wanted a game that shows the inhuman side of fighting a war, possibly with giant robots. The not fighting a war bit was all Luke, which makes sense considering the last time Australia was directly involved in a war it wasn't.

So I came up with Call of Duty: Unheeded, also known as Medal of Honor: Spectator, Civilian of Honor: Jobfighter, and my second favourite, Conscientious Objector of Honor: Notfighter.

This dream game would incorporate all of the challenges involved with not fighting in a major military conflict. Stuff like:

  • Baking vaguely patriotic cakes
  • Eating freedom fries
  • Selling sidewalk souvenirs
  • Buying ribbons
  • Voting republican
  • Watching it on the news

That last one would be incredibly important, as it would fuel the game's Paragon / Renegade system, lifted directly from Mass Effect because this is not a real game and we can do that.

It all comes down to a simple question: Which news channel do you watch every night, Fox or CNN? (C-Span has DLC potential).

Watching the war unfold on Fox news gives players +7 rhetoric every evening, while watching CNN on a nightly basis adds +7 to information.

It might seem like CNN is the better choice, but information is a negative currency in Call of Duty: Unheeded. The more information your character receives the more depressed he or she gets. Too much depression and the game transforms into Quantic Dream's Heavy Rain and your child gets hit by a car.

Multiplayer maps would include office cubicles, bus stops, and aeroplanes in mid-flight. One player takes on the role of someone with a strong opinion about the war, while the other attempts to play Bejeweled on his or her iPad.

Plenty of details about Call of Duty: Unheeded's gameplay still need to be ironed out. Do we go with a Cooking Mama-esque cake-baking mini-game? Can Kinect recognise when a player puts their head in their hands and just weeps quietly? Is there any way to end the game without making everyone angry?

That's the wonderful thing about Call of Duty: Unheeded: there's no way we could ever make it, so we've got all the time in the world to develop it, once we're done with our naps.

UPDATE: Hello, this is Mark Serrels, Australian Editor of Kotaku. I'd like to personally apologise for the content of this post. I don't agree with it, and I apologise for letting it slip through the net.

The reaction in the comments is completely understandable. We've taken this as a lesson learnt -- we'll be far more careful in the future.

Please accept my sincerest apologies.



    "The not fighting a war bit was all Luke, which makes sense considering the last time Australia was directly involved in a war it wasn’t." Am perplexed by that line

      Yeah, seems like a completely unfounded slap in the face to the Australian service men and women who have given their lives over the years. Stopped reading the article there because it was such a BS thing to say.

        Do they not realise Australian troops are deployed RIGHT NOW?

          One of my friends was involved with the last and final deployment.

    I'd be more interesting if it was set during conscription and playing as a draft dodger and conscientious objector.
    Have the whole thing be a non-violent stealth game.

      Conscription in a modern setting would make an interesting story.

      Of course I'm Australian, so I dont know what war is.

    The Oz editors must have accidentally left the gate open again and this garbage blew in.

    "Call of Duty Unneeded"

    Man, will that be the day...

    Seriously, I'm no fanboy of any rival franchises of it, but Call of Duty really needs to go away.

    I'm sick of it.

    I'm sick of people thinking that I play Call of Duty or ask me to play it with them just because they know I'm a gamer and associate that "dead horse" of a game franchise with me.

      Yeah, I can see why you are sick of people asking if you want to game with them but they don't play the "right" game - it must be a real drag.

        You really don't understand my point, do you?

        I'm tired of Call of Duty, it's been around for too bloody long without it having a huge change.

        Every year a new one comes out and people go nuts about it and then they ask me to play with them, I tell them no because it's the same as the last one (which is true), then they get pissed of at me.

        Even Black Ops II to me looks boring.

        I myself used to be a big fan of it back when CoD 2 was around, was still a fan until MW2...that's when it became really dull and boring for me.

        It lost its luster, so I stopped playing CoD, yet people ridicule me for doing so.

        And yet, people still buy it every really boggles my mind.

        I still try (rent it) the every new CoD at least once to see if I'm right about it being the same game over and over, and so far that's a yes.

        I don't care what game people invite me over to play with them, as long it isn't CoD I'll play.

          I understood it perfectly - you shouldn't confuse mockery with not understanding. You also shouldn't confuse your subjective opinion (that COD never changes) with objective fact (e.g. "which is true")

          You don't like COD - fair enough, that's entirely up to you. But to be sick of people asking you to game with them because you don't like the suggested game is odd. I don't get sick of people asking me to kick a soccer ball around with them just because I am not a fan of the sport and prefer AFL.

    -100 points to authors for thinking they are funny when clearly they are not, and for not realizing how much Australia supports the US in the military endeavours.

    you "let it slip through the net"
    You prick, rather than hire people with a fucking clue, your new plan is to read articles before they're posted and the hide them from Australians. Your little American friends may not be aware of our country, but you should know what we think of gutless little pricks talking down to us. Mark, you are coming out of this worse than the joker who wrote this nonsense.
    I'll be sticking to

      See Ya, Brandon!!!

      Good riddance to you, Brandon. Your kind of idiotic loathing is not welcome here

      While your words were harsh ,they are somewhat true.
      The fact that they even hire people like Fahey and Plunkett is beyond ridiculous, Plunkett is just a ctrl-c ctrl-v from reddit, and Fahey is a biased bastard. Neither of which are good journalistic qualities.

      See, Brendons with an "o" are clearly lesser beings. But seriously folks, I think your vitriol is a bit over the top. Mark apologised. The way their system works means this stuff can happen, and it's unfortunate. However KotakuAu provides an incredible amount of thought provoking and interesting comment I'm willing to let it slide. The Unfinished Swan article, for example, was great. Now shoo.

    Given that the Coalition of the WIlling was only a very small one, you'd think that Americans would learn who its members were and show their gratitude to those who helped prop up their struggling hegemony with an act of imperialism the likes of which the modern international system has never seen and was designed to prevent. Fuck you Mike, and Mark, too.

    A war where australias involved but really isnt.

    You piece of shit fucking armchair cowboy. Tell that to the men and women who have died over there while you sat on your ass pounding out text in regards to games. Lets preface your text with: Australia, supporting America for over ten years in a bigger clusterfuck than Vietnam.
    What did we expect from you and Luke though. Go fuck yourselves.

      +1 my dad was in 4RAR before he retired And he has been to Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq to support the continuous shitstorms the us calls creates that they call "peace keeping". Luke I hope you get die in a horrendous house fire you piece of shit.

        And mike

          My father is a Vietnam veteran, he was in rescue services over there for the RAAF. He saw horrors he still won't talk about to this day. He rescued Australians, Americans, everyone. People like this Mike, with comments like that, think they're harmless, but they demean the efforts of people who put their lives on the line to give aid and assist, even when their government shouldn't be there.

          Mike, you're an embarassment to Kotaku US. But then again, Kotaku US is an embarassment constantly to Kotaku AU, so I guess it all works out hey? You're the turd on the bottom of the shit pile that Kotaku AU has to constantly be reminded its sitting next to. I'll be forwarding this article a few places to see what they make of it, also be making sure to point out that Kotaku AU was very quick to distance themselves with an apology, and rightly so, from the usual bullshit from Kotaku US.

          Luke, you're a hack. Always have been, always will be. God knows how you got your job, the best description of your efforts lately, is the guy on here who said you just cut and paste bullshit from reddit every day. Take a journalism course, read a book on journalism, or for christ sake, watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas... just SOMETHING to do with journalism.

    Wow, this is complete utter nonsense. I can write better than these clowns...hold up, let me get my CV.

    Australia as a country has stood in solidarity with the US in every major conflict the last 100 years and probably for the next century.

    We know yanks are generally insensitive of offending other countries but these sort of comments are pretty terrible especially in a time of war.

    The utter thoughtlessness of the authors aside, I really want to see Call Of Duty: Innocent. In it, you play as one of the many innocent victims of the War. The game revolves around trying to stay alive and unaffected by the atrocities happening around you each day for as long as you can while soldiers of both sides tear your life to shreds.

    Will you play as the mother with a baby, hiding in whatever cover you can while gunfire and bomb blasts as well as other more human horrors edge ever closer while you try to stop your child from crying and giving you away? Do you play as the child, caught between fleeing for your life from the monstrous enemy who sees you as just a threat waiting to grow up and your own side who sees you as just another weapon in the war? Or do you play as the man, trying to keep his family safe in the cellar while avoiding being conscripted into your nation's army because it's your "Duty"?

    That's the human side of war gaming that I'd like to see explored and would love to play, if only to stop me from being inured to the atrocities because FPS war man-shooters are meant to be "Fun"...

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