This Week's iPhone Charts: The Cheapest Dental Surgery Available

The magic of mobile gaming affords us countless opportunities to explore magical world filled with happiness and joy and comfort. Or we could just take a hammer to our teeth.

I must admit that when I first saw Dental Surgery at the top of this week's free iPhone app charts, I downloaded it immediately. Within moments my teeth were aching sympathetically. Then I stopped playing and erased the game from my phone. I'm guessing that's what everyone else did too, but the initial download counts.

Here's hoping that one slips from the charts next week, like a skipping dental drill etching a long uneven groove across the front of your molar.

You're welcome.

Top Paid iPhone Games - November 27, 2012

1. Angry Birds Star Wars Last Week's Position: 1 (0) Yep, this one's still here. Angry Birds Star Wars on iTunes

2. Bad Piggies Last Week's Position: 3 (+1) Bad Piggies reclaims its position from those nasty scary balloons. Bad Piggies on iTunes

3. Wreck-It Ralph Last Week's Position: 4 (-1) I credit this jump in popularity to Ralph's appearance in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing. Wreck-It Ralph on iTunes

4. Bloons TD 5 Last Week's Position: 2 (-2) Back foul beasts! Bloons TD 5 on iTunes

5. Minecraft - Pocket Edition Last Week's Position: 5 (0) Oh hey, Minecraft. Didn't see you there. Minecraft - Pocket Edition on iTunes

6. The Amazing Spider-Man Last Week's Position: N/A What's amazing is how much of an impact Gameloft's $.99 sale had on this game's chart position. The Amazing Spider-Man on iTunes

7. Flow Free Bridges Last Week's Position: 6 (-1) If you're going to fall, at least fall to Spider-Man. That's what my mother used to say. There was something wrong with her.

Flow Free Bridges on iTunes

8. Offroad Legends Last Week's Position: N/A Y'all remember that time Jimmy and thems took his F-150 into the woods out back of the old schoolhouse and tore his axle in half? Good times.

Offroad Legends on iTunes

9. Tetris Last Week's Position: 7 (-2) This would be at the top of the list if the gods would just give them a long piece. Tetris on iTunes

10. Fruit Ninja Last Week's Position: 9 (-1) Dammit. *starts stomping on Fruit Ninja's fingers as it grips the edge of the chart cliff* Fruit Ninja on iTunes

Putting together that list was like pulling teeth. You'll see what I did there in a moment.

Top Free iPhone Games - November 27, 2012

1. Dental Surgery Last Week's Position: N/A Shouldn't this be listed under self-help or do-it-yourself? Dental Surgery on iTunes

2. Hill Climb Racing Last Week's Position: 1 (-1) Took a whole lot of surviving, just to get up that hill. Hill Climb Racing on iTunes

3. Offroad Legends Sahara Last Week's Position: N/A Technically the demo-ish version of the full Offroad Legends, as seen in the paid charts. Offroad Legends Sahara on iTunes

4. Doors&Rooms Last Week's Position: N/A One of those escape-style games. They should make one of these for the band Journey. Doors&Rooms on iTunes

5. Ruby Blast Free Last Week's Position: N/A Some sort of app dedicated to freeing yourself from addiction to US football. Ruby Blast Free on iTunes

6. Flow Free Last Week's Position: 6 (0) Flow Free is number six. It's always number six. Get a new number, jerk. Flow Free on iTunes

7. Are You Quick Enough 2 Last Week's Position: 3 (-4) Not quite quick enough, nope. Are You Quick Enough 2 on iTunes

8. Candy Crush Saga Last Week's Position: 7 (-1) Strange, where did Ruby Blast go? Oh that's right, it was horrible. Candy Crush Saga on iTunes

9. Gangnam Style Massacre Last Week's Position: 4 (-5) That's it, kids. Just step away and let it pass. Gangnam Style Massacre on iTunes

10. Pitfall! Last Week's Position: N/A Amazing what a little freedom does to a guy, isn't it? Pitfall! on iTunes


    That dental game is the worst game ever.. how it got to the top? Someone swallowed.

    Laggy, poor graphics, very bad game play.

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