Welcome To Vending Machine Hell, Where You’ll Be Threatened With Brutality


Castration. Cutting off fingers. Photos of your genitals shown publicly forever. These aren’t just idle threats. They’re vending machine threats. It’s like a ring of Hell Dante missed, but with fizzy drinks and canned coffee.

There’s a cluster of 15 vending machines in Tokyo’s Akihabara, the city’s gaming and geek district. The unmanned machines are in a ramshackle structure and sell drinks, snacks and condoms. They are covered with some truly brutal threats that aim to strike fear in the hearts of would-be vandals. Japanese sites Rocket News and Touch Tokyo waded in and checked them out. Let’s have a look.



“Those who put posters on this machine, vandalise it or cover it in graffiti will have all 20 of their fingers and toes chopped off.”


“To those graffiti offenders, it doesn’t matter if you are male or female, your genitals will be cut out with a knife.”


“Putting up posters is prohibited — I’ll cut off your fingers.”


“This is not a toilet. Those who defecate or urinate, regardless if they are male or female, will have photos and movies of their face and genitals shown publicly in perpetuity.” Apparently, a “security firm” is monitoring a security camera around the clock — or so a sign says.

Goodness! While crime is generally low in Japan (even vandalism), it seems these unmanned vending machines have been targets — hence the threats. But there could be more to this.

There’s a slight tinge of dark humour to these threats. As Japanese website Tokyo Touch points out, not all the signs are threats: One even states that the bottled water on sale will prevent diseases, while another points out, “Popping popcorn is OK, but popping caps with guns is not.” Another sign points out that a particular chocolate snack was moved to a different vending machine.

Noted. All of this. Thanks.

秋葉原にある自販機コーナーの警告がヤバすぎるぞ! [Tokyo Touch]
秋葉原にはイタズラをすると… [ロケットニュース via
はちま起稿]


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