I never grew out of that childhood thing where giant vehicles are just the best. So when I saw images of this thing today, I nearly lost it.
On Thursday, the US Fish and Wildlife Service will be destroying over six tonnes of ivory goods, seized over the years in violation of an illegal trade. They won’t be doing it by hand, or with a garden mulcher; instead, they’re enlisting the help of this bad boy.
Which should be a Transformer. Or a command vehicle in a post-apocalyptic wasteland movie. Or something I rode to work on like a Spartan, if only I ever left the house to go to work.
While it’d be awesome to think someone built it just to crush ivory, so it could tour the world doing good work, truth is this beast spends its regular days crushing giant rocks. Something I’m sure it’s very, very good at.