A Hundred Reasons To Avoid Playing Grand Theft Auto Online

I've never gotten round to trying out Grand Theft Auto V and I suspect I never will. After watching this video I feel pretty secure in that decision.

Anyone willing to try and convince me otherwise? I remember having a fair amount of fun with GTAIV's online multiplayer, particularly with the Chopper vs Chopper mode in The Lost and Damned.

Is this video an accurate portrayal of what goes down online?


    That was rather funny and close to exactly what it seems.
    The race is spot on and the car blowing up car / dunce hat is so true.
    There are many others that could be done (may have been), so yes Mark, if you don't think you would "enjoy" any of these and more stay far away from GTA Online.

    HAHA that’s pretty awesome.

    GTA Online is like any game out there, it’s absolutely fantastic if you can play it with a server full of mates or like minded people.

    Plenty of potential though and it’s very ambitious. Personally when I was playing it (for about the 1st month after launch) I found it a bit too glitchy and full of balancing issues, but it could one day be phenomenal.

    Also you wrote that you never got around to playing GTA V…… I assume you mean GTA V: ONLINE? If you as a game writer never played GTA V I have no idea what you do with your time.
    Thats like being a film critic who’s never seen Citizen Kane.

    A few things were off but I guess it is mostly right. You can't use weapons in the strip club (I know, I'm there more often than is healthy) and no one ever would drive anywhere in a non insured car....ever.

    GTA online is the greatest when you have a bunch of friends, I also liked collecting the bounties and having a bounty on me and seeing how long I can not get killed. Dirt biking in the desert was fun but I guess you can do that offline too.....

    Just to clarify, I have not played since about christmas.....for all I know the devs have added dinosaurs or something......though I doubt they have.

    I still play GTA:O from time to time, not often enough to really progress anywhere. I usually rob a few stores and have a few police chases and shoot other players. Its good for some mindless fun for an hour or so.

    Doing backflips on motorcycles into things always gives me a chuckle.

    I haven't touched GTA Online since they took my money. 2.5 weeks after opening a support ticket I'm still awaiting a reply.

      wouldn't have even happened if they weren't selling in game money. It was their fault that we were even able to exploit the game. Me and a friend worked out that between the 2 of us we had the equivelant of $60,000 in game cash taken from us.

      Yep. I actually grinded a couple of mil legitimately with some friends over a few weekends. We ended up with 3 mil each. Aaaaaaaaaand they took it all from us.

        Wow. :(

          Oh it took us ages man. Ages. We did the helicopter missions, many races to get all the mods, we didn't spend much on ammo, stuck to using pistols and shotguns (cheap ammo and plentiful to pick up from enemies) and trained ourselves to switch back to pistol asap when we were about to die in the map (so we didnt lose valuable ammo). It was a hell of a time saving that money.

          Rockstar had previously removed 20 BILLION from our accounts, we were actually *happy* about that, we were given it by hackers and we didn't want it. We were all at level 120, (85 of those levelled legit, 35 levelled by the helicopter method, *shrug*) so we had access to everything, all weaponry, but we wanted to see what we could get legit.

          So we're all in the same clan right. One day we log on and all of us, every single one of us, is back to 5k each. Just 5k. We've lodged tickets and never heard a goddamn thing from Rockstar. Fuck Rockstars online microtransaction driven game, that's where they're trying to push people, into buying their money. We grinded hard to get that cash and we lost it through no fault of our own :(

            Oh wtf, that's completely different! I thouhgt it was in the same batch. Dude, wow. :(

            Are you guys in the 'prison' servers? Cos if they stole money and didn't put you there, it begs the question ....

              Nope. Normal servers. We never hacked. We just had cash given to us randomly. When our small gang had all its money wiped we felt it massively unfair. It led to us stopping playing. I was on a server one night and some assclown called out 'money bitches!' In open chat. Next thing our gang and everyone else is gifted repeatedly 50 mil over and over and over. It was farcical. At first it seemed cool but in the end it broke the game.

              Last edited 07/03/14 5:30 pm

    STRONG BAD!!!!!!!!

      YES! Strong bad!

      Man, that video totally made my lunchtime. Laughing, lots of laughing. Thank you persons.

        man, i used to visit homestar runner religiously every week for the strongbad emails, i would watch them online, then go into my temp folder back on windows xp and drag out the .swf file and keep them. i think i still may have them all somehwere.
        ahh great website that.

        i always used to laugh at strong sad on one of the homepages flying across the screen saying 'im sad that im flying'.

        +1 for childhood/teenagehood

          'You smell like pea souppppp!'

          I had the entire collection of SB e-mails on my iPod going back a few years now. I'll be honest, I still love hitting up the site and selecting a random one now and then. It's a shame the guys gave up on it, but hey....at least they didn't shut it down.

    I played it in the first week. Not with strangers though. Just a mate and myself in a private game, running around causing general chaos. Though the levelling up system made it not so fun. I never really progressed past having a shotgun. We wanted to get in to heists but... Yeah. No heists.

    It's all a matter of who you play with, it can be a fantastically fun cohesive experience or a mindless kill on sight fragfest, it's just down to the quality and attitude of the players. A good reason to only play with friends or at least people you can be reasonably sure aren't arseholes.

    Last edited 07/03/14 12:59 pm

    Yeah. That's pretty accurate. The last time I played was just before the Last of Us DLC came out.

    The game isn't entirely about griefing but mostly. So I think the one thing missing from the video is after you finish a mission and go to freemode, people try to kill their former team mates.

    GTA Online can be fun if you're able to achieve these things;

    - Don't play in Public lobbies.
    - Play with friends.
    - Not have catastrophic glitches or freezes.
    - Insurance on all of your vehicles (not too difficult there).
    - Discover the option for Invite Only lobbies.
    - Have patience, because sometimes things go wrong a lot, and no-one can really be sure what R* are thinking when it comes to DLC or fixing bugs.

    Last edited 07/03/14 1:54 pm

    i played it, it was buggy as all hell.
    i thought id return once it was more stable but then other games came out. i doubt i will return
    especially seeing as my 360 isn't even plugged in anymore

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