A Man Just Rewrote The Empire Strikes Back In Haiku

You might remember Craig W. Chenery as the man who rewrote Star Wars in haiku. 198 haiku to be precise. Now he's done the same thing with Empire Strikes Back. He's taken the story and he's completely rewritten the entire thing in haiku form.

It's a pretty epic undertaking in every sense of the word. I've post a small section of the haiku below (yep, it's pretty damn huge). You can read the whole thing here at Craig's official website. He's a published author and screenwriter so he knows his way about the words.

When Star Wars made bank It could only mean one thing Time for the sequel!
More credits roll by Vader is not too happy He's out for revenge
The darkness of space A star destroyer appears The Empire is back
Probe Droids are sent out Searching for Luke Skywalker He's going to pay
One finds planet Hoth A single climate ice world You’ll need a jacket
Something hits the ground Luke on his Tauntaun sees it “Can you hear me, Han?”
Han Solo answers “Yeah, loud and clear kid, what’s up?” “Finished my circle”
“Everything okay?” “I just saw a meteor Gonna check it out it”
Tauntaun is upset “Steady girl. You smell something?” The Wampa decks Luke
Breaks the Tauntaun’s neck It drags Luke back to its cave Jedi for dinner
Han enters the base Chewie fixes the Falcon “Don't lose your temper”
Meeting with Rieekan “No signs of life general The sensors are placed”
“Is Skywalker back?” “He’s checking a meteor” “It’s hard to spot ships”
“I have to leave now” “I hate to see you go, Han” “Jabba wants my head”
‘Well so long, Princess” “Don’t get all mushy on me” “I’ll see you around”
Yes, your highnesses?” “I thought you’d chosen to stay” “Ord Mantell changed things”
“Han, we all need you” “We need? What about you need?” “What are you saying?”
“I guess you don’t know” “You’re a natural leader” “No, that is not it.”
“Your feelings for me” “I'd rather kiss a Wookiee” “I can arrange that”

I think it's a pretty safe bet that Craig, at some point will have to finish off the trailer. Don't bother with the prequels though, they're not worth the effort. Just jump straight onto Raider of the Lost Ark please!


    I hate to be that guy but god damn these articles are getting worse and worse

      I don't agree in this case. I am glad Mark posted it and to be honest his articles are great.
      He really is the only reason I visit this site.

    Some people honestly have way too much time on their hands.

      And I've still got five more movies to go. Yes, five.

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