Many things happen over the course of your adventures in The Witcher 3. Some are forgettable. Most are far from it.
Here, then, is an objective and comprehensive list of…ah, who am I kidding, here’s a massive list of the things I loved most from a game I love so damn much.
USE YOUR WITCHER SENSE TO AVOID MASSIVE SPOILERS
(Note: I say Everything* in the headline because while I have opinions on almost everything in the game, from Dwarven Ale to NPC lines like “another drifter in from Temeria”, I don’t want to keep you here all day. This, then, is just the best stuff.)
52. The Wind
51. Combat finishers
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354095567684.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
50. Getting a magic, Bloodborne-esque shovel.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354157158212.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
49. Ciri’s combat moves.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354178374724.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
48. Talking demon animals
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354255949892.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
47. Snow dates with Yenn
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354308064324.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
46. Gettin’ wild at the hot springs
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354355231044.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
45. The word “Noonwraith”
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354581983812.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
44. Getting sucked inside a painting and mercy-killing a ghost.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354651882308.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
43. Lighting
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354775441988.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
42. Suicidal explosives experts
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354830444100.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
41. Chatting with a corpse, and a very angry werewolf.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354860563268.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
40. Murder mysteries.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354902184516.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
39. Unicorn sex
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431354949687876.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
38. Ain’t no party like a giant murderous bear party.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355014444612.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
37. Joining the theatre.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355064288068.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
36. Joining the circus.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355095477572.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
35. Gettin’ blind drunk, stealing Yen’s clothes and making magic prank calls.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355128899396.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
34. Beating the devil at his own game
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355163840068.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
33. THIS FUCKIN’ LIL’ GUY
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355213028932.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
32. “Thanks bunches”
31. Lighting
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355284880708.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
30. Puss-peepers (vid source)
29. The view from Kaer Trolde
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355317704772.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
28. Stealing a kiss with Triss
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355357137220.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
27. Sidequests that directly reference the decisions you made in the main storyline.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355382270788.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
26. Cheery loading screens
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355425052740.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
25. The taxman
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355467074116.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
24. Skellige
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355509040452.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
23. Awkward boat sex.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355526135108.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
22. Hiking up to enjoy the views around Kaer Morhen
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355591655748.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
21. The epic final fights
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355638012996.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
20. Saying goodbye to an old friend.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355675529540.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
19. Shani
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355713719108.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
18. Lighting
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355750923076.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
17. This guy
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355765633092.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
16. Johnny
15. The vulnerability and wickedness of “The Bloody Baron”.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355841033540.png?quality=75?quality=75)
14. An entire sidequest built solely around cheese jokes.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355868461124.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
13. Everything about the breathless, epic siege of Kaer Morhen
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355981559364.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
12. Novigrad
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431355996055364.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
11. Letting a horny ghost possess you, who then gets his drink on, dances around and tries to get you both laid.
10. Geralt the poet (vid source)
9. Exploring the very ends of the world
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356031781188.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
8. “This is very romantic”.
7. Cerys.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356061593668.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
6. The complexity and sweetness of Geralt & Yenn’s relationship
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356091818052.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
5. Finding Ciri.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356140252484.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
4. Becoming an inter-dimensional astronaut and literally travelling to an alien planet.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356165524036.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
3. The Tower of Mice. Just…holy shit.
2. Throwing a baby in an oven.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356214320708.gif?quality=75?quality=75)
1. The “Good Dad” ending.
![Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/19/1525431356300267332.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Comments
7 responses to “Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked”
Unicorn sex scene not being #1 and Gwent not on the list at all makes this list terrible and makes me question Luke Plunkett’s judgement on everything.
Yes lol wholeheartedly agree
Indeed. And fuck that guy at #17!
I just finished the game (Still need to play the Expansion stuff though) and thought the whole thing was fantastic! Will take time to write a more in-depth reply when I can. You know when you finish a game and end up lying in bed looking back, reflecting on the ending, what became of world events, characters sub-plots and in general the whole experience for hours (and coming days)? Yeah it was one of those games. Will stay with me for a while I think, absolute amazing.
You should probably mention in your spoiler warning that in includes Hearts of Stone.
What? No mention of the lighting?!
Yeah, how poignant was it when he finally meets up with Ciri but thinks that she’s dead … Then she stirs! … And the joy of him finding little Ciri again!
BRAVO CDPR! Can’t wait to see what you’ll do with Cyberpunk 2077!