Hello, fellow Splatoon fans. I'm writing to you today, just a bit ahead of Splatfest, to remind you that you definitely do not need to use motion controls when you play. Especially if you're on the other team from me.
To Zed: Please read this.
You may hear people say things like, "Motion controls are the only way to play if you're serious about Splatoon!" They may urge you to try motion controls out, even if you've gotten comfortable with standard controls. "There's basically no aim-assist in Splatoon," they will say, goading you into action. "Motion controls will make you so accurate that you'll never be able to go back!"
Do not listen to them. These people are trying to trick you. Are you team Mayo? They're team Ketchup, always out for blood. Are you Team Ketchup? These pro-motion-control maniacs are clearly team Mayo. Gross.
Oh, they will make a convincing case. They will tell you how they started out playing a few story missions while slowly getting used to the motion controls. Then they will say they switched to Salmon Run, then finally into Turf War, and that after an hour or two it was like they were playing a different game. They will tell you that the Pro Controller is a good way to go, but that the split Joy Con are flat-out incredible. They will say that once they got used to it, it was like aiming with a laser pointer or a mouse & keyboard.
They will tell you to watch videos like this one:
Be sure to use the thumbstick and the motion controls, they will say. You should do most of your rotating with the stick, and only use the motion controls for fine adjustments. If you didn't know better, you could swear they were trying to give you real advice.
Don't be fooled! Stick with your familiar, standard thumbstick controls. Especially if you're not on my team.