This morning, Netflix unveiled a teaser trailer for The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf, an animated film set in the Witcher cinematic universe. Folks, I’m sorry (or you’re welcome?) to report that its lead character, Vesemir — yes, that Vesemir — is now attractive.
Vesemir, for those who don’t know, is a main character in the Witcher canon. Most Witcher media — the games, the Netflix adaptation, the books they’re based on — focus on Geralt, a genetically modified monster hunter, a.k.a., a witcher. Vesemir is also a witcher, best known as Geralt’s grizzled mentor. At the end of the first season, the show heavily implies that Henry Cavill’s delts and the rest of his body are off to meet up with Vesemir, who was absent throughout the first season. (In season two of the show, Vesemir will be played by Killing Eve’s Kim Bodnia.)
Nightmare of the Wolf is both a spinoff and a prequel to the live-action series, a portrait of the Vesemir as a young man. In the film, he’ll be voiced by Theo James, a butter-smooth timbre you may recognise as the pipes behind Hector, from Netflix’s thoroughly riveting Castlevania series. He also looks like this:
Here’s another angle, y’know, for science:
Annnnd, here’s a requisite Witcher bathtub frame:
Fans are collectively freaking out over Vesemir’s devilishly handsome looks on social media. “daddy vesemir is so fucking hot I’m at work losing my tiny little MIND,” one person wrote on Twitter. “they himbofied vesemir,” wrote another. “WHY DID THEY MAKE VESEMIR SO HOT? LIKE HOLY SHIT I’M [hot face emoji] [hot face emoji] [hot face emoji],” wrote a third. Much of the commentary follows a similar tack.
The widespread shock is likely spurred by the fact that Vesemir, in all his iterations, hasn’t exactly been a sex symbol. He’s a gruff guy, a loner, kind of prickly and off-putting. And even though he’s a father figure to Geralt, it’s by no means in a “zaddy” way, if I’m understanding the term correctly. Still, at the end of the day, today’s shocking news shouldn’t come as that much of a shock. After all, sex sells, even when the thing you’re selling has already been paid for in full by the 209 million people who’ve signed up for your streaming service.
The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf will debut via Netflix on August 23, 2021.