There have roughly been 126 Pokémon games, including the multiple spin-offs where Mr Mime goes to jail, and stays there. Maybe, I dunno. I might be wrong.
With the vast amount of Pokémon games available, there have been many little awful creatures birthed out of The Pokémon Companussy. But alas, there will never be enough.
Fans of the monsters that live in pockets will never be satisfied until every food, drink, animal, fish, mother, and child has been turned into some sort of living, breathing, and struggling Poké hybrid. And that is their right as human beings.
As a Pokémon fan myself, I have ideas. So many ideas. Too many ideas, that I’m now not allowed within 50 feet of a Pokémon-affiliated building. I go to these buildings, and I yell at the top of my lungs, “What if there was a centipede ‘mon with big weird boobs???” and I am tased by local police.
So, I thought, from the safety of my office, why not show them to you? Why not tell and show you, the reader, some of the ideas I have for Pokémon creatures? And maybe, just maybe, The Pokémon Company will see this post.
They will come to my house and say, “Ruby, thank you. These are the best ideas we’ve ever seen, and you are now the Princess of The Pokémon Company. Here is your crown and sceptre, and your $20 voucher for Coles which expires tomorrow.”
So, my good friends. Please…
Take a look.
Gun
Everyone is asking for this Pokémon, Gun. A fan favourite featured in that one episode of Pokémon where that guy points a Gun at Ash has sparked debate all over the internet, with many saying that Gun should be included in the games.
Gun would be a Steel-type Pokémon with a tragic backstory.
Chikoroll
Chikoroll is going to be the next best food-based monster. Everybody loves Fidough, everybody loves Lechonk. Why not play on an Australian classic? Considering everybody loves a good chiko roll from the corner shop on a sunny afternoon, Chikoroll would be a favourite on any ‘Pokémon I Would Love To Eat Whole Like A Sick Little Freak’ list.
The Chikoroll would be a Bug-type Pokémon with a tragic backstory.
Tracy Grimshaw
Tracy Grimshaw (born 3 June 1960) is an Australian journalist and television presenter. She is currently the host of A Current Affair and was a co-host of Today for nine years. Grimshaw grew up in Greensborough, Victoria. On 7 May 2015, she was involved in a horse riding accident believed to have been at her property in Sydney’s north-western suburbs. She was airlifted to Westmead Hospital. (Source: Wikipedia)
Tracy Grimshaw would be a Normal-type Pokémon with a tragic, horse-related backstory.
Gord
Everybody loves Gord. Everybody praises Gord. Gord is my favourite. Gord is your favourite. Gord is the best Pokémon. Gord is the strongest Pokémon. Gord is the only Pokémon. I met Gord once, and now all I know is Gord. Gord. Gord. Thank you, Gord. I love you so much, Gord.
Gord is a J̴̡̧̡̨̧̧̛̩̩͍̝̭̣͎͙̳̲̪̙͍̠̹̻̩̤̞̘̞͓̝͖͖̳̰͓̱̳̬͔̝̝̙̪̰͉̦̠̥̲̞͎̹̝̤͓̼͕́̎̌̀̓̿̌̾͂̑̓̀̕͝ͅͅe̸̝̭̮͉̦̲̱͓̳̠̹̮͚̲̝̠͊̏̌̄̄̍̾͆̈́͂̔̉̅̔̾̽̿̆̀͆̽͘͜͜͠s̸̨̨̢̧̞̘̪͚̻͕̜͓̫͚̦̮̭͈̯̩͕̠͙͕̟̪̗̫̭̗̼̤͚͕̹͓̭̟̪̟̍̉̈́͗̊̈́̐̀̔̐́̅̊̿̀͒̿́͘͜͠͝ͅư̸̛̛̼̬͈̩̹̠͚͚̻̑̑̐̐̋̾̔̿̈́̆̉̓́͛̈̓̇͆͂̏́̇̈́͗̃̍̍͂͋̾̄̆̈̌̀̑̽̈́̄́͒̃͐̿̀̚̕͘͝͝͝͝͝͝͠ṡ̶̨̢̡̨̢͈̲̤̖͔̞̣̻͕̮̖̱̬̺͚͚͉̪̤̲̭͍̲̱̝̖͔̱̣̻̠̹̻̠̜͎̬̥̙͆̈̾̌͂͛̈́̏͐̉̓̈́͛͒̓͐͊̋̒̈̈́̚͘͜͝͝ ̴̡̡͉͖̥̪̩̳̞̹̜̻̗͖̟̘͍̮̥̞̦̭̲͚̰̖̳̮̱̳̙̝̘̺̻̫͕̫͖̲̀̓́̽̒͑̊̓̔̊̀̀͊̐̍́̔̐͗̑̀̃̄̽̂̓̀̈͊̚͘͜͜͜͜͜ͅF̵̨̧̡̢̢̡͔̙͕̺̼̹̙̹̖̩̹̭̼̱̻̫̣̙̤̠̤̝͓̖͓̙̜͖͖͉̫̫̝̱̞̰̮̪̹̯̟̖͔̥̍͐̾̓̓̆̔̓́̎̀́̊͗͊͑̑̕̚͜͝ͅų̷̧̨̡͇̱̱̳͕̭̲͎̣͈̭̼̝̰͙̹̝̘̼̭̱̰̖̱̙̥̙̰̙̰̟̹͍̳̯̭̙̪̊͛͛̌̃̋̈́̍͆́̅̋̓̋̊̏͗̚̕͘͜͜ͅç̵̢̡̢̢̧̛͍̳̙͈͓̲̗͉̹̩̳̙̞̠̪̼̼̰͍̙͕͚͚̮͖̭̟̣͇̙̜͗͊̒͐́̊̄͑̆̅̊̂́̂́͒̋̇̈́̈́̅͋̈́̍̿̇͌̀͂̉͑͂̃͂̈́̇͒̀̇̃͂̆́̓̕͜͝k̵̡̧̢̡̢̛̛̳͙̝̪͖̝͉̲̠͓̝͍̞͇̫̝̟͎͚͎̜͈͕̝͈̙͉̦͎̣̳̘͕̝̟̘̝͕̹̇̅̊̃͊͑̂̏͆̈́̾́͑͆̇̌̐͐̃̅͆̄̕̚̚̕͠͝͝ͅi̸̢̡̨̢͉̞͚̪̞͈̗̼͖͋̆̉̀̊͂̉͂̅́͐̅́̽̄͘͜͜͝ͅǹ̴̢̨̡̛̰̘͕͖͎̲͇͚͓̘͙͖̩̟̟̖͈̞̈́͆͛́̐̋̽͛́̓̀͑̌̈́̆̕͘̕͝͝͠g̴̢̧̢̢̧̢̛̖̬̱̠̘̩̦̭̟̥͚̻̞͕͉͉̝͈̉̏̾̿̊̍̈́̏́̈́͐̐̐̿͐͊͆̎̈̽́̃̆̓̕͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̡̨̛͓̝͕̤̩̤͉̜͚̻̻̫̦̲̟͖͓͇͇͖̦̠̱̰͓̺͆̓͑͐̈̂̓̏̿̋̋̄̆͐̂́̐̃͂̌́̀͑̐̎̃̋͋͒͋̂͑̆̎̆̅̂̾͑̏̿͊̈́͊͆͘̚͝͝͝͠ͅͅÇ̴̨̡̡̢̡̗͔̬̘̘͍͖̺̜̭̺͚̦̭̥̯̥̫̝̪̝͎̭͈̥̺̖͕̤̫̭̤̦̼͓̣͈̙̬͔͚̼͉̑̋̔̈͊̂͐̓̆̀̈̊̌̆̂̍̓̍͒̇̋͑́̃͆̎̂̎͑̀̅͒̀̀̈́̽́̃̚͘̕͜͜͝͝ͅḧ̵̡̧̢̢̦̟̺͓̖͔̲͍͙̮͙̼̫͚̳̤̥͓̯̯̗͓̖̯͕́̈̎̂̇̏̿͂͋͂͂̑́̋͋͘͘̚r̴̨̢̛̰͖̬͈̹̦͎̯͈̝͍͎̖͊͊̀̀̕i̵̧̡̛̫̠͇̟̻͉̤̻̼͎͉̪͉͚̦̯͓̘̺̋̏́̏̒̇̃̍s̸̛̼̣̪͈͚̫̰̲͖̩̘̮̞̝͎͈͈̪̗̜̥̱͙̟̪̻͉̥̹̟͔̭̦̦̱̮͊̈́͜͜ͅͅͅt̴̡̢̧̗͍̪̫͍͚̟͇̳͙͕̺̣̲͍͈͕̄͌̈́̄͛́̈́́̋- type Pokémon with a tragic backstory.
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