According to an interview with Nikkei, Nintendo boss Shigeru Miyamoto has reportedly dropped a fatty of a statement, saying to “keep an eye on our next production” and that “Nintendo is like a talent agency” with “many other entertainers”.
This comes after the financial success of The Super Mario Bros. Movie, a fun movie for children and people who understand that it’s for children, as well as a movie that adults and film critics seem to be analysing like it’s part of the Criterion Collection. In the stylings of John Walker’s kid reviewing Minecraft Legends, I would love to see the kid reviews for The Super Mario Bros. Movie. A few of my friend’s kids love it.
I enjoyed The Super Mario Bros. Movie for what it was: a simple family film that doesn’t take itself too seriously and has all sorts of little references to the Nintendo mascot. With its box office success, it doesn’t look like Nintendo or Illumination has any plans to stop making animated films based on Nintendo properties, and Miyamoto’s latest statement could solidify that. But what franchise will they go for next?
Most rational people would look at the hype around The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, as well as the success of Breath of the Wild, and say that it only makes sense for Nintendo’s next non-Mario film to be about the adventures of Link. Me, however? I think they should do a freakin’ Kirby movie. Cue the shocked gasps from everybody.
(Kirby and the Forgotten Land spoilers ahead)
Hear me out, though. The vibe of Kirby and the Forgotten Land was incredibly cute at the beginning and then turned into Cronenberg bullshit towards the end followed by Kirby defeating a God. How can you look at me and tell me that a Kirby movie wouldn’t be the most perfect opportunity for a fucking nuts bait-and-switch that starts out wholesome and then turns into Kirby fighting a biblically-accurate Angel at the end of the world?
Kirby is shaped like a friend. Kirby is a funny little guy. There is no way that a film starring my close personal friend Kirby as the main character wouldn’t make a trillion billion dollars at the box office. Kirby doesn’t have a ‘species’ of any sort. It’s a mystery as to what Kirby is made out of. Kirby has no age. Kirby’s power level is completely unknown. It’s a blank slate. They could do literally anything.
Not to mention the fact that Kirby’s foray into the TV world absolutely went hard as hell. If you haven’t seen Kirby: Right Back At Ya!, a 4-season show based on Kirby’s life that went from 2001-2003, I highly recommend giving it a watch. There are 100 episodes, but it’s great if you’re looking for some brain-massage content. While I can’t link any, uh, unsavoury ways to watch it, it’s pretty easy to find through a few Google searches.
So that’s how I feel, at least. If they’re going to make any Nintendo-based movie, I think a Kirby one in the same tone as The End of Evangelion would be great. Not elaborating on that, just picture it for yourself in your head and have a chuckle. What about you? What Nintendo franchise do you think should be turned into a movie?
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