For a gamer, one’s life can be marked based on two separate points; before a headphone stand (BHS), and after a headphone stand (AHS). Most tend to come in fairly minimalist designs, ideally to take up as little space on your desk as they can. Whether that’s a simple hook to hang them, or on a high-end Razer RGB design. Some may even opt to use leftover banana stands from Ikea, because there’s always money in the banana stand.
But sometimes we might opt for something a bit specific, out there, and most importantly, cursed. Here are some of the weirdest headphone stands we could find online that would rest perfectly on your desk.
William Taft headphone stand
Have you ever looked at your desk and thought “By god, I would love to have a mold of William Taft, 27th President of the United States and leader of the nation’s largest Anti-trust movement in government?” Well, now you can.
But don’t take my word for it, reviews for this look pretty great as well.
You can buy the William Taft headphone stand on Etsy for $95.48.
Abyss headphone stand
This one is less cursed for design but for price. The Abyss headphone stand costs $499 USD. That makes it $785 AUD before tax. Fortunately for us, the designers from Abyss recorded an entire 10-minute video for them to justify its price. Famous reasons like “Don’t you hate it when you knock over your headphone stand and have to pick it up?” The solution – let’s make a headphone stand that springs itself back up and charge around the same price as a digital-only PS5 for it. If you also feel like you hate owning money, you can buy a headphone cable from them, for around $3,221 AUD which they argue as a first, “can make your headphones sound better”.
You can burn your money for this on the Abyss website.
This Zombie headphone stand
A neat throwback to the 2013 era of owning a bunch of Zombie memorabilia. Good in concept, however, this headphone stand will give you as much support as a Dad who left for cigarettes.
You can buy this on Etsy for $15.00 AUD.
Darth Vader Buddha
I can’t explain it, but this feels like appropriation.
You can buy the Darth Vader Budha on Etsy for $86.44 AUD.
Yeezy 350
Ever wanted to own a pair of Yeezy’s but can’t justify dropping over $300 on a pair of shoes? Get ready to Runaway with these.
“Just look at my desk, I got all the basics, Yeezy 350 headphone stand, check – Kanye West mousepad, check”.
You can buy the Yeezy 350 headphone stand on Etsy for $86.44.
Pickle Rick
No good thing is untouched by cheap Rick and Morty branded memorabilia.
What’s even worse about this headphone stand is that in the description, you’ll find that despite the model appearing green in photos, it only comes in black. Meaning that the goofy, iconic, monumental expressions that Pickle Rick made are gone. Lost to time, like Szechuan sauce in the rain.
You can buy “Pickle Rick” on Etsy for $95.23.
Joaquin Phoenix Joker
It’s 4 a.m., you’re leaving a Baldur’s Gate 3-infused fugue state and you see this, wyd?
Normal people have slick, thin headphone stands but not you. You’ve chosen to reject living in a society. You’ve chosen chaos.
You can buy Da Joker Baby on Etsy for $158.01.
Bored Yacht Ape
A great headphone stand for people who love losing money. Fun fact, this is the only Bored Ape that doesn’t collapse immediately after buying it. Unfortunately, just as ugly though.
You can buy this piece of shit on Etsy for $115.74.
Lol Meme
Do you think God stays up in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?
You can buy the LOL meme on Etsy for $101.09.
Knock-off H.R Giger Alien
A clear homage to H.R Giger‘s iconic Xenomorph, but make it a horny BDSM-inspired eyesore.
You can buy this on Etsy for $101.09 or catch it being walked down the street by a dominatrix on TLC’s Strange Sex.
Voldemort
My face when Ralph Fiennes asks people to stop being mean to J.K Rowling.
You can buy the Voldemort headphone stand on Etsy for $158.01.
This nasty Predator model
This is one ugly motherfucker. But there’s no denying it can hold your headphones.
You can buy this on Etsy for $158.01.
Caricature Richard Nixon
Much like the head of Richard Nixon from Futurama, this headphone stand also says: “I remember my body. Flabby, pasty skin, riddled with phlebitis. A good Republican body. God, I loved it.”
You can score a caricature Richard Nixon on Etsy for $101.09 AUD.
Mad Magazine’s Freddie Mercury
Ever wanted to own a headphone stand that looked like Freddie Mercury as a MAD Magazine caricature? Well, you’re not gonna believe this.
You can buy it on Etsy for $158.01.
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