Microwaving Your Game Is Never The Answer, And Other Rage Stories

The Kotaku readership has collectively broken many, many controllers. But here are some of the better (read: entertaining) rage-quitting stories you shared. There’s a surprising amount of fire involved.

Knocked Out Cold

(via Chris Jager)

My most spectacular rage quit resulted in me getting knocked out cold.

It was triggered by my mate scoring a totally bullshit goal in ISS Pro 98. I threw my controller across the room and dived towards the PlayStation’s off button. Except I misjudged the dive and slammed head-first into the corner of my parent’s coffee table. Woke up around ten minutes later. The collision looked so brutal that my mate didn’t even get to laugh.

Snapped

(via cffndncr)

Quake 3 Team Arena.

I played it on and off for a while, before one day deciding to clock it. Maxed out the difficulty, got all the way up to the final 1v1 with Xaero, and got creamed. I mean, 10 – 2 absolutely demolished, over and over again. I don’t know how many times that guy wiped the floor with me – but it was alot.

So, I was on the verge of surrendering, when I had the game. The game where my shots landed. ‘This is it’, I thought, ‘this is my time!’. So it gets up to 9-9, next kill wins. I’m pumped…

And from literally the other side of the map, Xaero pulls off a bullshit 1-shot kill with the railgun. No shit – he was about as far away on the map as it’s possible to get, across a wide gulf – it was an impossible shot. Once again, I was defeated.

Then, in a fit of rage, I popped the CD tray and snapped the disk in half. Not one of my prouder moments – Xaero had defeated me forever.

Microwaving Your Game Is Never The Answer

(via soniko)

Mine was few years ago but I will never ever be able to forget it, during that time I was probably the most fixated on trophy hunt than I am now. I was playing Dark Souls and soooooo freaking close on getting the platinum for it, I was doing some the phantom killing for the weapon or armour you get from that guy in the abyss area, then I figured out how to save my souls so I wouldn’t lose them after I got slayed by white phantom.

My trick was hitting the power switch on back of the PS3 which had worked few times during that day, I’m guessing I missed the time part were it auto saves. Then I tried my trick once last time rebooted the PS3 and thus getting back on to Dark Souls only to find out my 130 hours I spend on that game corrupted. Now I lost my shit. With my heart racing I closed out Dark Souls to see if it was just trolling me and started it again see if was corrupted and yet my worst fears came true.

I was like “fuck that was 130 hours of my life wasted” then I recalled one of my clanmates from Socom Confrontation who had microwaved one of his games for fun. I was such in a blind rage I got up from my couch walked up to my PS3 pressed the eject button looked at Dark Souls then walked into my kitchen put Dark Souls in the microwave set the time for 5mins after 1-2 mins the disk caught on fire (which was blue btw :D). Well, that’s my rage story. Later when I think about it I shouldn’t have been a dumbass. I probably would have Dark Souls platinum.

That Modem Deserved It

(via ChainsawFreak)

Oh, I had one recently.

Diablo 3 just had its third birthday. I found my way to the cow level and was happily slaying cows here and there. Suddenly, there’s this huge spike in latency. It goes from green to red and it stays red. Mind you, I was playing Hardcore (meaning, if I get killed, that’s it, character lost forever). So, I’m fighting these evil cows and the Queen appears and the lag is just horrible. I should have found a safe place and logged out. But I said to myself “And then what, finding the cow level AGAIN?”

I fought. My connection can be quite crappy at times (living in Venezuela), so I assumed it was a problem with my internet. I find the Cow King’s ghost, I speak to him and this HORDE of cows appear and that’s when the latency betrayed me. The pastures turned into grey and the cows wouldn’t even move. My attacks did nothing. I was quite sure that in the lag-less world, my Crusader’s head was already on a spike (a lag-spike?). The game then kicked me out, “You’ve lost your connection”.

I am a 29 year old man, I don’t get pissed at a game easily.

I was so goddamn upset that I stood up, took my modem in my hand and starting beating it with my fist. “YOU… GODDAMNED… PIECE OF… BLAARGHHH”. The modem broke in pieces. And I felt a profound shame.

Apparently I attacked the modem with such savagery that my mum came from her room, concerned about the ruckus. “What happened?” she asked.

“The, uh, the modem” I said. “It broke”.

“How?”

“It… fell”.

“How can it possibly fall, it was already on the floor”.

“Mum… I am very stressed, give me a moment”.

I did fix the modem (it’s still working fine). Turns out, Battle.Net (Blizzard’s game launcher) was downloading an update for Hearthstone, another game, without telling me anything. For once, it was not my connection. Happy ending: Charlotte, my Crusader, survived. Thank you, Blizzard? I don’t know, mixed feelings here.

Haven’t played since.

It’s Not Just The Game

(via madeanaccountjustforsuikoden)

The 2nd to last boss in SOTC. I just couldn’t keep patient and wait for the perfect time to jump on. It wasn’t completely the game though. I was depressed, discouraged by how I wasn’t “getting” the content in some of my college courses and feeling stupid, and irritated by the squawking animal in the house. I threw my controller to the ground and stomped it to pieces. Fucking ridiculous, right? Then my mum came in and asked what the fuck is wrong with me and I completely broke down.

I still get mad every now and again, but I just go do something else or realise IT’S JUST A GAME AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING FUN. Live and learn.

A Fiery Rage

(via Chairman Kaga)

1989. Mega Man 2. Dr. Wily. Final projection. One hit left. I’m going to win. I get nailed three times in a row. Final man. Dead. Game over.

I picked up the NES, and wires and all threw the entire console into the fireplace. Which had a fire burning.

I Don’t Even Have Testicles But I Cringed

(via Joe)

1) When I was 14, during a sleep over, my buddy and I were trying to beat Clay Fighters for SNES on the hardest difficulty. We got stuck on Bad Mister Frosty. I had a 3rd party turbo controller with protruding turbo buttons after numerous attempts and spitting on the TV, this had escalated and I head butted the controller a number of times. All of the sudden my buddy said, dude you’re bleeding. I had to go upstairs and wake up my parents. I told my mum that we were playing nerf basketball and I hit my head on a door knob. I think she bought it…

2) My brother and I were playing Wayne Greztke with CPU assistance which artificially keeps the match close. We played best of 7. The series got more and more intense, which lead from charlie horses to spitting at each other and I won game seven with a goal at 0 seconds left. Crying, my brother took our gaming rocker chair and threw it on the couch. The rocker busted the drywall. He told my mum he was cleaning the basement and in his fervor he set the chair on the couch and broke a hole in the wall. I don’t think she bought it…

3) Playing Home Alone for Sega Genesis, I almost thwarted the crooks and had a minute left on the clock before winning. I spiked the controller on my lap and blasted my testicles in the process

This all was nearly 20 years ago. We are well adjusted and no longer rage quit when playing games.

The Considered Rage

(via Zardmander)

Only bad time I really had was back during modern warfare 3. Today I don’t play competitive fps games as much, but I probably had somewhere in the range of 30 days played in mw3. It was probably sometime near the middle of its COD life cycle when I raged hard. I generally like playing team based games like domination where if you get a good team vs a good team it makes for a really fun competitive game. Unfortunately in Call of Dutys case you get a lot of people joining domination who have no intention of actually playing domination. This was one of those games, my teammates start out by running past our home flag.. ok fine sometimes people like to rush straight to the b flag. But oh no.. they’re running in the opposite direction.

So here I am capturing C all by myself then trying to capture b all by myself. And when halftime hit it I had somewhere in the range of 10 captures and about the same defends while my teammates all had 0. At this point I ejected the disc, put it in the collector’s edition steel book case and flung it at my bed (didn’t want to do any real damage) only it ended up skipping like a rock on water and stuck into my wall like a ninja star. The dent is still there today. After black ops 2 I haven’t really played too many competitive games. I’ve settled back into single player RPGs and JRPGs with the occasional single player FPS sprinkled in.

Fuck You, Controller

(via AJ)

At one point, circa 2009, I was playing Madden online for 360. I lost the game, and was ready to spike my controller. Remembering new hardwood had just been installed, I calmly walked from my living room to my driveway, and proceeded to throw my controller, kick it in to the street and leave it there. The next morning I ran over it before I drove to game stop to buy a new controller.

The Worst Christmas Ever

(via ChowYunMatt)

I gave my 8 year old nephew Kinect Star Wars for Christmas the year it came out. He got so frustrated with the controls after about 30 minutes of it that he started crying and yelled “This game is stupid and this is the worst Christmas ever!”. He hasn’t played it again to this day. Not really a rage quit but I still laugh about it.

A Pain Only Known To Players Of Final Fantasy XI

(via KiraXD)

FFXI Speed Belt Fiasco with jerks in my LS. I almost quit the game even after what happened.

I spent weeks getting ToD for myself, not knowing that 2 other members were going off shell to farm it themselves. so one day i show up, and they completely flip out on me and my wife (then girlfriend) for trying to “steal” from them.

What sucks is i legit had no idea they were there since 1 of the two guys camping it and the only other main ninja in the shell besides me, had a speed belt already.

To top it all off, the guy who actually wanted it complained that we were trying to steal it, even though we personally spent months helping him camp various HNM for weapons and armour he personally wanted. But yet a main nin (me) cant be helped getting a speed belt from them. These two hadn’t ONCE helped us camp any personal HNM… they only ask us for help. (This was before quick belt too fyi) I was so mad that i yanked the plug for my internet. and left FFXI for a few days. (at the time FFXI was my life… I’d be logged in 24/7 the only time I wasn’t online was when I was at work)

(anyone who knows FFXI knows how shitty and frustrating this can be)

Needless to say, this pretty much cemented our departure from our first HNMLS we were a part of for 3 years. started our own and never looked back. (no one will understand this post except those who have played FFXI lol)

(And never did get a speed belt! though there came a point where i was less a Haste Ninja, and more an Attack/Crit Ninja (I could crit almost every single hit)…

And I was 1st one on server to obtain BOTH Shura Haidate +1 and Shura Togi +1

My claim to FFXI fame lol

heres pre +1 haidate, with a little bit of my str/attack/crit gear with my favourite katana, Senjuinrikio/Rai Kunimitsu

Rage-Spit

(via TaichouLance)

My worst rage quit was playing the first Pokemon Stadium. I don’t remember which fight it was but the person specialised in using confusion causing attacks like supersonic or confuse ray. My whole team wiped because they kept getting confused and only hit themselves. This happened for about an hour. Threw the controller down and was so mad I never played it again.

I also rage-beat a game. I was trying to finish the last race in Burnout 3 for the original Xbox and had spent weeks playing it. When I finally did, I was flipping off my TV and actually spat on my screen. I’m normally a calm person when playing games but those two really irked the hell out of me.

A Scar Left On His Soul

(via DarkAdonisVyers)

Rogue Legacy. I was on some variation of New Game + and was going through to fight the Super-Versions of the bosses. Basically, you can get these emblems that allow you to unlock the super version of a boss, so once it’s beaten in the castle, you can access this “ghost door”. The door teleports you and gives you a pre-determined character (the same every time) to fight a supercharged version of the boss.

These were cool, I thought – extra hard challenges with a unique setup to fight them. And unlike the rest of the game, when you died in this super-fight, your regular character appeared right outside the ghost door again, so you could re-enter and try again.

Having completed 3 of the 4 super-bosses, I was down to the final fight – Alexander IV. Oh my god. So, regular Alexander is a big flaming skull who gently floats around the room, periodically spawning mini-versions of himself. He (and the minis) will occasionally stop moving to shoot some energy blasts that move pretty slow. If you don’t kill all the minis, it can be overwhelming, but the regular version of this boss is in a huge room with platforms, so it’s easy enough to kite them around and whittle him to nothing.

But goddamn Alexander IV is Alexander on Mega-Steroids. Firstly, they give you the Hokage character (deals high damage, low health, can teleport a few feet ahead using ability) with the replacement ability (leave behind a shadow you can teleport back to by using the ability again. Then, they put you in a room with Spikes around the whole thing, three platforms on the right, three on the left, and a wall of spikes in between that you need the Hokage’s teleport ability to get through. It sounds super cool in game design and challenge. And it almost was.

Almost.

But Alexander the goddamn IV can ram into you (or hit with energy blasts) 3 times to kill you. 3. Times. So you have to avoid super well. Also he spawns his little minis twice as fast, and they deal about half his damage. You can kill them for minor recovery, but it’s barely worth it. So teleporting between the two spike areas, you have to dodge super-skull, his mini-skulls, and all their subsequent energy blasts. It took me about 3 hours to realise the optimal strategy is, when you’ve run out of room to dodge, jump into the spikes. They deal about 1/4 of what Alexander IV does, and the brief invulnerability is invaluable.

After 8 hours in a single day screaming at the TV and my family wondering what the heck was going on, I quit. I slammed my laptop shut and went to bed steaming mad.

I finally beat Alexander IV after another 3 hours the next day. But it wasn’t even satisfying – it was just a release from my pain. And even then, I will never truly be whole after the scars Alexander IV left on my soul.

Not The Pinky!

(via Nekolas)

On many an occasion when I was younger, I had the tendency to bang my table with mouse in hand while cursing during rage inducing moments. Then one day during such a moment, my pinky finger positioned itself under the mouse as I lifted my hand up in the air.

As I struck down with the power of rage upon the table with the intensity as if I were trying to chime the bell in a game of high striker, I found myself in a terrible state of rage, pain and being angry at myself for letting something stupid like that happen. Needless to say I quit that game of CS. On a positive note, aside from not having lost my pinky, this was a small wake up call for me henceforth to be more aware of not letting rage get the best of me ^-^ Now I just occasionally curse a bit <.<

Never Wake A Sleeping Father

(via kewfsu)

I had a lot of trouble controlling my temper when I was younger so I have several disappointing moments. The best (worst) happened while playing, of all games possible, Riddick Bowe boxing on SNES. The way I remember it, the game was definitely cheating, and I couldn’t get past a certain point. I thought I was home by myself, so I threw an amazing 11 year old temper tantrum that included every cuss word that I knew.

I then unplugged the controller and started whipping it into the ground by the cord (because that would fix everything). I hear my name shouted in anger behind me and turn to see my dad standing in the doorway. Unbeknownst to me, he was actually home taking a nap and woke up to the sound of me cussing. I got the beatdown and had my SNES taken. I managed to perfect the art of the silent meltdown over the following years and never had a system taken again.

Girlfriend Repellent

(via AmetDj)

Probably very common/obvious, but at times Souls (including Bloodborne) games piss me off in a special way no other game has ever achieved. I basically build up my rage bar over every death until I smash the damn controller on the floor (luckily I got a thick carpet), loudly swear in a mix of Italian and English (Italian living in the UK) and call it a night. When I do this, my girlfriend (that usually is playing something else on the second TV) gets really silent and knows is better not to speak to/touch me for at least a couple of minutes. Those games really manage to get under my skin, still I love them.

What Rage Quit?

(via Sol)

I never rage quit. I’ll stop playing if I don’t think something is worth doing, like going up against a seriously unbalanced team on Battlefield, but it isn’t ever out of rage.

However, I knew a guy in high school who was the worst ragequitter I’ve ever known. We would play Modern Warfare 2 with a bunch of other kids from the school to play for fun. None of use were that competitive about it, but most of us were pretty good at it. This one guy, though, thought he was great at the game when he just wasn’t. He would try to do all the fancy quickscopes and go 1-13 regularly, and every time he died he would shout a little bit louder. I don’t mean just a “god damn it,” he would scream into the mic and bang his controller on the ground or desk or something else hard. This would go on for a few matches, before always ending with him screaming and then suddenly disappearing. He would unplug his system from the wall directly. Then there was the the awkward silence between all of us still playing, or randoms who were also playing would make general “what the fuck” type comments. We’d keep playing for an hour or so before he just popped back online like nothing happened and would repeat the process again.

Eventually he stopped playing because his parents took away his system. I’m pretty sure that was a smart move because he might have actually hurt himself slamming things around.

The Friendship That Didn’t Last

(via Spook)

I was the victim of a savage rage-quitting w/ Vigilante 8 on PS. I was dominating my friend round after round after round and he got so pissed that he stood up, did a Khaaaaaaaan-esque yell at the ceiling, and then executed a 2-handed throw of his controller at my head. He then stormed out of the room and locked himself in the bathroom for 15 min. We continued to be friends until later in life when episodes like this one still occurred, but were no longer age-appropriate.

Humiliating Death After Death

(via BeefBroccoli)

Emerald Congalala. This fart monster, excels at burping and farting you to death. Often lighting you on fire with a fart. He is the king of silent but deadly and the prince of he who smelt it dealt it.

His stank is so bad, you become your own bomb. Combined with a fire fart attack, you can be insta ko’d.

I swear, I wouldn’t mind so much if it weren’t so humiliating to die and die and die to a fart monster.

Thank goodness I smashed controllers in my youth, because my 3ds might be in pieces right now.

Game Boy Advance Versus Forehead

(via Tyrienn)

Close to eight years ago, I owned a ps2 and a steadily increasing library of games. The library consisted among other games of NFS: Underground I and II. I still remember how merciless the drifting missions in those games could be. Once i spent the better part of an evening trying to get past a particularly lengthy and hard level, with a number of sharp turns. Having failed and failed again, often coming close to winning but never quite making it, I tossed the controller at the floor. Naturally, it broke. The ring around the left joystick shattered, and parts of the hood around the L2 button. But even though the controller acted a little wonky after that, it still continued to work… For a while. Then it didn’t, and I had to resort to an old third-party controller i had. It sucked compared to the official one. I never tossed another controller after that.

Another time, I was playing tekken on my GBA. Having been stuck on a fight with Heiachi all night, I got so mad when losing that I smashed the poor GBA against my forehead. The pain was manageable for me. It wasn’t for the brave little console. The screen was dead, blotted over by a huge black stain of the stuff that creates pixels. The worst part of this story is, I never told my parents what happened. When they asked, I told them I’d fallen asleep in bed (I slept in the upper bunk of a sort-of-bunk-bed at the time) with the GBA console in my hand, it falling to the floor. I still feel guilty, but at least I paid for a new GBA myself. It still lives, alive and well.

A Trophy Of His Rage

(via JBRonin)

So I had a goal before Final Fantasy XIII came out that I should play and finish five games from my backlog. I gave my self about three months to do this so no worries on time, but the last game I played was the first Yakuza on PS2. In addition to being frustrating as hell (with some of the worst swearing in a game I have ever heard) my controller was slightly broken from some previous raging. It had those telltale sign of abuse, flexed on the right side where the front and back meet, plastic rattle sound inside, slightly sticky buttons, etc…

Anyway, I’m still playing Yakuza and I’m frantically trying to finish it all the way to the day before FF13 comes out, but the whole process is complicated by my sucking at the game. It’s late, and I have one more fight left and all I want to do is just finish this stupid game. It hits midnight and I lose again. In my rage I do the gamer equivalent of ripping a phone book in half and proceed to tear my PS2 controller in half. I still keep it in the plastic shell that the next one I bought came in to remind me that I need to keep my cool.

Battletoads Flashbacks

(via Ridureyu)

This one time when I was a kid, I was playing Battletoads…

…The story doesn’t need to go any further.

NO, IT DOES. I MADE IT TO THE PIPES LEVEL ARRGHA AAAUGH AARRGH THOSE STUPID GEARS AND SHARKS AND RUBBER DUCKIES I HAD BEATEN EVERYTHING BEFORE EVEN THE SPEEDER BIKES AND THE ROCKET AND THOSE DAMN SNAKES AND THE LEVEATOR SHAFT AAAAUUAUGH THEN BUT AARGH AAARGH I REPLAYED THE GAME LIKE FIVE TIMES IN ONE DAY JUST TO TRY TO BEAT THAT STUPID LEVEL COULDN’T AARGH STILL MAKES ME MAD

Anyway, after I finally gave up, I wrote “Battletoads” on a piece of paper, and then tore that paper up, crumpled it, set it on fire, and flushed the ashes. I felt better, and I hadn’t destroyed anything expensive or electronic. I also didn’t play Battletoads again for years. I felt ok with that. Battletoads does not have to be a part of my life anymore. We broke up.

An Epiphany

(via ConwayCostigan)

No so much a rage quit as an epiphany. I was playing the original Everquest. I can’t even remember what the zone was called, but my companions and I were farming for some sort of rare quest item. It was a typical EQ1 encounter. Fight for 30 seconds, then wait a half hour for the respawn, then fight another 30 seconds. Rinse-repeat.

Between battles, I was reading a paperback novel. I even had a timer set up to beep at me when it was getting close to the respawn.

For some reason, it suddenly hit me. “I’m paying $US15.00 a month to read this paperback novel. I can read this without paying anyone $US15 a month.”

I typed in the chat “Sorry guys, I’m done.” They thought I meant for the evening and wanted to know when I’d be back on. I said never. They thought I was joking. I wasn’t. I never came back.

So, not much actual rage involved, but I literally went from being dedicated to an MMO game one minute to never playing it again the next.

At Least He Picked The Shittier Controller

(via AboboInSloMo)

Battlefield 3 on 360.

In a Rush game where everyone on my team quit, except for my friend and me, we stupidly pushed onward, desperately trying to arm the M-COM. I had some personal stuff going on that day that already had me on edge. I should have just quit the round, but I stubbornly wanted to get that W. After dying for the millionth time, on the same fucking hill, I finally snapped.

Without saying anything to my friend, I got up, set my 360 controller down, and picked up a infrequently used PS3 controller. I walked out of my room and out the front door of my house, onto my cement front porch. I then threw the most embarrassing rage tantrum of my life until there was almost nothing left of that Dualshock 3. I still occasionally find tiny pieces of plastic in the yard.

So much shame.

A Most Animalistic Reaction

(via Q-Dawg)

Back as a kid in the SNES days, when Mortal Kombat 1 was still the only MK game. I was playing through on the hardest difficulty. I eventually got to the endurance round, where you fight 2 opponents back to back, each with a full health bar while you have to survive on 1 bar for the entire round.

Eventually I got so pissed off at the CPU Sub-Zero being cheesy as fuck with his freezing, I bit down on the controller cable as hard as I could and started biting it and pulling it with my teeth violently. After a few seconds I flew across the room and my mouth hurt. Went downstairs to get a cold drink to soothe the pain and my mother screams in horror as my face (or chain) is dripping blood. Turns out when I flew across the room, one of my baby teeth did too. Didn’t play MK1 for about 12 years after that.

When The Controller Fights Back

(via StarFart)

Back in the PSX glory days, I was playing the bejesus out of Sled Storm, a snowmobile racing game with the infamous included soundtrack of Rob Zombies “Dragula” because you wern’t a cool racing game without that song included.

After nearly a month of playing the game non stop I finally managed to get to the finals on the hardest difficulty and unlocked the fastest sled with the most twitchy controls i’ve ever experience on a digital vehicle. The sled who’s name I forget was insanely fast but it would under steerlike a near sighted indy 500 car driver.

The final level had random patches of ice that would make the sleds tail end slide out and into anything in its way. The AI was utterly brutal and one mistake would cost you the 5 lap race, which I had been attempting to beat the last 2 hours straight, with my hands sweating and death gripping the dual shock and swearing like a sailor on a bad day, I kept going. I WAS going to conquer this digital goal!

On around the 20th attempt, I managed to get early ahead of the other racers and I was in “The Zone” it was glorious, all was going my way, the star were aligned, the electrons flowed perfectly on my PSX, my gaming aura was balanced, my vision was tunneled into my parents 32” Sony Trinitron TV. I WAS going to win and finish this game at long long last! I could FEEEEEL it!

On the second to last lap, one of the AI racers came out of nowhere behind me and rather risking him overtake me, I gave a quick hard steer to the left to cut him off and then to the right to prepare for the turn. However, the last moment left steer had taken me two pixels off my 2 hour perfected course run and the rear end of my sled JUST grazed a few pixels of the ice patch I had so meticulously avoided the entire time.

My sleds rear end disobeyed me and swung its arse into the race wall were the 2D bitmaps crowds cheered my failure as half the other racers raced passed me and the race was over.

RAGE. …….. ANGER………. GAMER SMASH!!!!!!!!! I jumped outa my mums rocking chair with great anger and frustration ” GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!” I screamed as I threw my dual shock as hard as I could onto the carpeted concrete floor. Physics also decided to punish me for my digital failure, as I threw it so hard it bounced back up off the floor and smacked me right in the face.

“FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”” I screamed at the top of my lungs that even the basement window rattled. I became digital hulk and I stomped on my cracked dual shock controller for the shame and pain it gave me as hard as I could. The controller EXPLODED into dozens of peices across the basement, one of which decided to go through my sock and dig into my foot about half an inch.

After this 5 seconds of pure gamer rage passed, my father flew down the stairs in the thundering noise that as I child I learned meant I was in deep shit. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!????

All I remember after that is my great shame of losing the game and having to be bandaged on the toilet, bleeding all over the tile floor as my dad patched up my foot, berating and yelling at me the entire time.

I traded in the game the next day and still to this day refuse to ever listen to “Dragula” ever again….

Oops, That Was Actually Your Monitor

(via Sugar)

I was once playing a trial of a game called Chaser. After months of becoming a beast, I had formed somewhat of an ego when it came to the game. Until I met Ness. Ness played as much as I did, it was apparent by his ability to navigate outside of the map in ways even I didn’t know where possible.

I was on the cordless phone with my friend while playing, describing to him the match. I started becoming frustrated. He was crushing me. Sugar doesn’t get crushed. Anger ensued. Death after death I began the believe he was suspect. No one beats me this bad. With blood boiling I started my next round. Pow Pow Pow. I’m Dead.

Pure instinct took my hand quickly from the mouse. As I grabbed the phone away from my shoulder and proceeded to smash ness’s face in with it. Only ness was his tag in the game chaser on the computer, the computer monitor. Oh shit the computer monitor.

The first flat screen monitor I had ever seen, also the first I had seen utterly destroyed by a telephone. I turned it off immediately and said nothing. About a week later my parents turned it on and saw the carnage.

Picture: Sam Woolley