I want to tell you a story.
A few years ago, I was dating a girl who was decidedly not nerd curious. She tolerated my geeky interests with a certain bemused air, but definitely didn’t participate in ‘em… not even setting foot inside a comic store on new comic day. She’d wait outside until I was done… which could be a while, since I was friends with several of the staff.
She came in the store exactly once, after I’d explained that no, it’s a pretty friendly place… well lit, spacious, organised and with helpful — and clearly identified — staff members who were willing to bend over backwards to make sure their customers were satisfied.
She was in there for less than 4 minutes before one mouth-breathing troglodyte began alternately staring at her boobs — evidently hoping that x-ray vision could develop spontaneously — and berating her for daring to comment on the skimpy nature of the costumes — in this case, Lady Death and Witchblade. She fled the premises, never to return.
When both the manager and I explained to him in no uncertain terms as to what he did wrong he shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, I was just trying to help you guys! She couldn’t understand that chicks can be tough and sexy! Not my fault she’s a chauvinist,” he said.
And that was when I shot him, your honour.
So with that example in mind, let’s talk about a subject I’ve touched on before: Male Privilege and how it applies to geeks and — more importantly — geek girls.
MALE PRIVILEGE: WHAT IS IT, EXACTLY?
I don’t think I’m breaking any news or blowing minds when I point out that geek culture as a whole is predominantly male. Not to say that women aren’t making huge inroads in science fiction/fantasy fandom, gaming, anime and comics… but it’s still a very male culture. As such, it caters to the predominantly male audience that makes it up. This, in turn leads to the phenomenon known as male privilege: the idea that men — most often straight, white men — as a whole, get certain privileges and status because of their gender.
(Obvious disclaimer: I’m a straight white man.)
In geek culture, this manifests in a number of ways. The most obvious is in the portrayal of female characters in comics, video games and movies. Batman: Arkham City provides an excellent example.
To start with, we have three of the male characters of Arkham City:
Here we have the brooding vigilante, the psycho ICP fan and The Doctor
Then we have three of the female characters:
Here we have the dominatrix, the crazy hooker and Exotic Fanservice Girl…
Notice how the differences in how they’re portrayed and costumed? The men are fully clothed and deadly serious. They are clearly defined: the mighty hero, the ominous villains.
The women are all about sex, sex, sexy sextimes. With maybe a little villainy thrown in for flavour. They may be characters, but they’re also sexual objects to be consumed.
I will pause now for the traditional arguments from my readers: these characters are all femme fatales in the comics, all of the characters in the Arkham games are over-the-top, the men are just as exaggerated/sexualized/objectified as the women. Got all of that out of your systems? Good.
Because that reaction is exactly what I’m talking about.
Y’see, one of the issues of male privilege as it applies to fandom is the instinctive defensive reaction to any criticism that maybe, just maybe, shit’s a little fucked up, yo. Nobody wants to acknowledge that a one-sided (and one-dimensional) portrayal of women is the dominant paradigm in gaming; the vast majority of female characters are sexual objects. If a girl wants to see herself represented in video games, she better get used to the idea of being the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. If she wants to see herself as a main character, then it’s time to get ready for a parade of candyfloss costumes where nipple slips are only prevented by violating the laws of physics. The number of games with competent female protagonists who wear more than the Victoria’s Secret Angels are few and far between.
The idea that perhaps the way women are portrayed in fandom is aleetle sexist is regularly met with denials, justifications and outright dismissal of the issue. So regularly, in fact, that there’s a Bingo card covering the most common responses. Part of the notion of male privilege in fandom is that nothing is wrong with fandom and that suggestions that it might benefit from some diversity is treated as a threat.
But what is that threat, exactly?
In this case, the threat is that — ultimately — fandom won’t cater to guys almost to exclusion… that gays, lesbians, racial and religious minorities and (gasp!) women might start having a say in the way that games, comics, etc. will be created in the future. The strawmen that are regularly trotted out — that men are objectified as well, that it’s a convention of the genre, that women actually have more privileges than guys — are a distraction from the real issue: that the Privileged are worried that they won’t be as privileged in the near future if this threat isn’t stomped out. Hence the usual reactions: derailment, minimization and ultimately dismissing the topic all together.
As much as my nerdy brethren wish that more girls were of the geeky persuasion, it’s a little understandable why women might be a little reticent. It’s hard to feel valued or fully included when a very vocal group insists that your input is irrelevant, misguided and ultimately unwelcome. It’s small wonder why geekdom — for all of it’s self-proclaimed enlightened attitudes towards outsiders and outcasts — stil retains the odor of the guy’s locker room.
HOW MALE PRIVILEGE AFFECTS GEEK GIRLS IN REAL LIFE
Don’t make the mistake of thinking male privilege is solely about how big Power Girl’s tits are, fan service and jiggle physics in 3D fighters. It affects geek girls in direct, personal ways as well.
Remember the example I mentioned earlier with my then-girlfriend in the comic store? Her opinions were deemed mistaken and she was told she didn’t “get it”… because she was a girl.
Y’see, one of the issues that nerd girls face is the fact that they are seen as girls first and anything else second. And before you flood my comments section demanding to know why this is a bad thing, realise that being seen as a “girl” first colours every interaction that they have within fandom. They’re treated differently because they are women.
We will now pause for the expected responses: well that’s a good thing isn’t it, girls get special treatment because they’re girls, guys will fall all over themselves to try to get girls to like ‘em so it all balances out.
“Can I power-level your rogue for you? Are you looking for the Jem DVDs? Let me show you the anime section… wait, come back….”
If you’re paying attention you’ll realise that — once again — those reactions are what I’m talking about.
Y’see, nobody’s saying that women don’t receive different treatment from guys… I’m saying that being treated differently is the problem. And yes, I know exactly what many of you are going to say and I’ll get to that in a minute.
Male privilege — again — is about what men can expect as the default setting for society. A man isn’t going to have everything about him filtered through the prism of his gender first. A man, for example, who gets a job isn’t going to face with suggestions that his attractiveness or that his willingness to perform sexual favours was a factor in his being hired, nor will he be shrugged off as a “quota hire”. A man isn’t expected to be a representative of his sex in all things; if he fails at a job, it’s not going to be extrapolated that all men are unfit for that job. A man who’s strong-willed or aggressive won’t be denigrated for it, nor are men socialized to “go along to get along”. A man can expect to have his opinion considered, not dismissed out of hand because of his sex. When paired with a woman who’s of equal status, the man can expect that most of the world will assume that he’s the one in charge. And, critically, a man doesn’t have to continually view the world through the lens of potential violence and sexual assault.
Now with this in mind, consider why being a girl first may be a hindrance to geek girls. A guy who plays a first person shooter — Call of Duty, Halo, Battlefield, what-have-you — online may expect a certain amount of trash talking, but he’s not going to be inundated with offers for sex, threats of rape, sounds of simulated masturbation or demands that he blow the other players — but not before going to the kitchen and getting them a beer/sandwich/pizza first. Men will also not be told that they’re being “too sensitive” or that “they need to toughen up” when they complain about said sexual threats.
Men also won’t have their opinions weighed or dismissed solely on the basis of how sexy or attractive they are. The most common responses a woman can expect in an argument — especially online — is that she’s fat, ugly, single, jealous, a whore, or a lesbian — or any combination thereof — and therefore her opinion is irrelevant, regardless of it’s actual merits. This is especially true if she’s commenting on the portrayal of female characters, whether in comics, video games or movies.
“Bet you’re paying attention to what I have to say now!”
Men can expect that their presence at an event won’t automatically be assumed to be decorative or secondary to another man. Despite the growing presence of women in comics, as publishers, editors and creators as well as consumers, a preponderance of men will either treat women at conventions as inconveniences, booth bunnies or even potential dates. Many a female creator or publisher has had the experience of convention guests coming up and addressing all of their questions to the man at the table… despite being told many times that the man is often the assistant, not the talent, only there to provide logistical support and occasional heavy lifting.
Men are also not going to be automatically assigned into a particular niche just based on their gender. A girl in a comic store or a video game store is far more likely to be dismissed as another customer’s girlfriend/sister/cousin rather than being someone who might actually be interested in making a purchase herself. And when they are seen as customers, they’re often automatically assumed to be buying one of the designated “girl” properties… regardless of whether they were just reading Ultimate Spider-Man or looking for a copy of Saint’s Row 3.
Of course, the other side of the coin isn’t much better; being dismissed for the sin of being a woman is bad, but being placed on the traditional pillar is no less insulting. Guys who fall all over themselves to fawn over a geek girl and dance in attendance upon her are just as bad. The behaviour is different, but the message is the same: she’s different because she’s a girl. These would-be white knights are ultimately treating her as a fetish object, not as a person. It’s especially notable when it comes to sexy cosplayers; the guys will laude them for being geek girls and celebrate them in person and online. They’ll lavish attention upon them, take photos of them and treat them as queens…
And in doing so, they’re sending the message that women are only valued in geek culture if they’re willing to be a sexually alluring product. Everybody loves Olivia Munn when she enters the room ass-cheeks first as Aeon Flux, but nobody is particularly concerned by the girls dressed in a baseball tee, jeans and ballet flats. One of these is welcomed into geek culture with open arms, the other has to justify their existence in the first place.
WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN TO YOU?
The reason why male privilege is so insidious is because of the insistance that it doesn’t exist in the first place. That willful ignorance is key in keeping it in place; by pretending that the issue doesn’t exist, it is that much easier to ensure that nothing ever changes.
Geek society prides itself on being explicitly counter-culture; nerds will crow about how, as a society, they’re better than the others who exclude them. They’ll insist that they’re more egalitarian; geeks hold tight to the belief that geek culture is a meritocracy, where concepts of agism, sexism and racism simply don’t exist the way it does elsewhere. And yet, even a cursory examination will demonstrate that this isn’t true.
And yet geeks will cling to this illusion while simultaneously refusing to address the matters that make it so unattractive to women and minorities. They will insist that they treat women exactly the same as they treat guys — all the while ignoring the fact that their behaviour is what’s making the women uncomfortable and feeling unwelcome in the first place. They will find one girl in their immediate community who will say that she’s not offended and use her as the “proof” that nobody else is allowed to be offended.
Changing this prevailing attitude starts with the individual. Call it part of learning to be a better person; being willing to examine your own attitudes and behaviours and to be ruthlessly honest about the benefits you get from being a white male in fandom is the first step. Waving your hands and pretending that there isn’t a problem is a part of the attitude that makes women feel unwelcome in fandom and serves as the barrier to entry to geeky pursuits that she might otherwise enjoy.
Bringing the spotlight onto the concept of male privilege as it exists in nerd culture is the first step in making it more welcoming of diversity, especially women.
And when you check back on Friday, I’ll provide you with some concrete applications on how being cognisant of male privilege will improve your relations with women.
Did I oversimplify an issue with regards to male privilege? Did I miss an aspect of male privilege in geek culture that you feel needs to be highlighted? Sound off in the comments and let me know.
Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor.
More top stories from Paging Dr. NerdLove
Glut
Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 7:12 PMSo…Kotaku is really taking this geekbaiting thing all the way, I guess. Way to get clicks.
As for the article, you’d think it was written by Geordie Tait. How much can we possibly generalize and demonize?
Shy
Friday, January 13, 2012 at 8:29 AMReally unfortunate how many of these guys are just commenting so butthurtedly. Must be nice to be male and not have to believe in stuff that doesn’t happen to you.
Amber
Wednesday, January 18, 2012 at 2:38 PMThe main point of this article is simple really. It’s not to offend guys who are actually fair toward geeky girls. I don’t think that was the intent. It was just to bring about an understanding from a geeky girl’s PoV.
Guys are privileged when it comes to geek endeavors such as gaming and girls are not, that’s all the article is saying. Guys (usually, anyway) don’t have to worry about immediately muting everyone but their friends when they’re in CoD game chat on XBL just to try to successfully escape lewd comments,
Guys don’t have to worry about being judged when walking into a gaming/comic book store/ etc, (she must be going in there for her brother or boyfriend…)
I could go on, but hey, what was that article for?
It gets old. I can never fully embrace being a nerdy girl. I always get interrupted by a guy taunting me, or downplaying my gaming abilities or just saying I’m a slut. What’s worse, I work in an IT position, and write about games from time to time as well. I stopped caring as much as I used to because I got used to it after a while, but it still makes things more difficult for me. It bugs me that I’m not taken as seriously as my male coworkers.
And I don’t want to have to mute everyone all the time on game chat.
And I want to feel welcomed, just like all the guys I play with.
Sarie
Friday, January 20, 2012 at 6:24 AMThank you.
Father Time
Friday, January 20, 2012 at 6:35 PMThis article sucks
First off it dismisses arguments with “see this is what I’m talking about” instead of actually addressing them.
Second I swear this guy lives on another planet, because a lot of the things he say that men don’t have to worry about happen a lot.
For instance you’ll find lots of people saying “who’d he have to blow to get this job” when someone sucks at their job. Men face threats of rape to. Male nurses that are bad can get comments that men just aren’t cut out for this etc.
Also
“the most common responses a woman can expect in an argument — especially online — is that she’s fat, ugly, single, jealous, a whore, or a lesbian — or any combination thereof ”
Yeah and if these same trolls didn’t dismiss men with other personal attacks, you might have a point. But they do.
Oh and female privilege does exist, so please stop acting like females have no advantages.
Poltergeist
Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:04 AMWhy does the image of sex sell so much? The answer is simple. Because it interests EVERYONE. Positively or negatively, it still catches people’s attention. That very fact shows just how much our nation cares about sex and all things related to it. There’s no escaping it. And it’s a fucking shame that it’s such an important topic to people.
Edwin Hilario
Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:30 AMThe thing with examples is they are just that, examples (on this and similar contexts). They cannot for the life of me represent any entirety but only certain, specific situations.
Someone listing or asking for examples to prove their point to you or to others especially on a topic of this scale is not going to break new grounds or rock the world to its senses. I’m not saying it’s bad, or you’re bad for asking it. I’m just saying it might or might not help, but it sure isn’t a solution. Especially since the problem exists on a level far more complex and deep seated than what most of us would like to believe (or at least that’s my opinion as a person and does not necessarily have to coincide with yours).
Let’s just all accept that many of us may or may not have been guilty of many things, most of which were beyond our *initial* control (environmental factors), especially while we were growing up. Like someone said before: “the world we live in was here before us”. That’s the beauty of human life and interaction; it doesn’t always have to be good plants growing on fertile soil; fact is the world is so diverse that any single or cluster of examples would not encase it for impartial judging. Nor do I believe that it ever will be. We are all part of society, no matter how shunned or disconnected we might feel or attempt to be.
“Human” is by far the single most inclusive word to define us all, everything else varies vastly from individual to individual. Instead of us throwing words here and there, I reckon we go do our parts in changing what we feel/believe should be changed, whether it be this issue or others.
At the end of the day, what I say may net any number of positive/negative reactions, but it doesn’t mean I’ll take everything I hear/see to heart. I will most probably make my own judgement based on my own experiences (new and old) and it may or may not matter to you anyway.
Have a nice day folks!
Kenny
Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 5:24 PM“BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ?!?!?!”
Speaking as a privileged male… guys, just shut up. You do not fucking complain every time you think females seem to have power over males, because for the entirety of fucking *history* men have been dominating the women.
This reminds me of this argument how the term “feminism” seems to imply the favor of women over men, even though the definition of feminism is the equal rights of both genders. This argument falls to pieces once you realize that we also have terms like “*man*kind”, “hu*man*”, the use of “he” as the default pronoun, and even “wo*man*”.
Stop complaining. I know it must be hard to swallow, but us guys have had it pretty fucking easy.
Lu
Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 8:26 AMExcellent article! In this geek universe, you have three options if you are a girl: 1) Be sexist too, and agree that girls are made to be only a sexual object; 2) Fight against the sexism and put yourself as an illustration; or 3) Give up and find another hobby. Yeah, after fight for years I got tired of being in long-long-long discussions against geek guys that couldn’t see the sexism in the geek world, and gave up to be part of this community.
Congratulations another time for your article. It’s very good to see men fight against the sexism too. In the sparse group of guys that admit that it exists, most of them don’t think it’s his business.
zimzam
Friday, January 27, 2012 at 9:23 AMFunny how right at the beginning he mentions the massive amounts of denial among males about this being an issue… and the comments are filled with massive amounts of denial about this being an issue.
Ducky
Monday, January 30, 2012 at 6:01 AMOn the bit about sexy cosplayers, I have to disagree with your point a little. Of course the girl in normal clothes is going to get significantly less attention than the cosplayer. If you saw a woman in costume walking down the street and a woman in normal clothing, which one would your eyes be drawn to? I can see where you’re coming from; it’s a little ridiculous when cosplayers like Jessica Nigri are borderline “famous” just for being hot and wearing skimpy clothes while they are decidedly better cosplayers out there with less recognition, but most of the time cosplayers in general are objectified because people are excited to see one of their favorite characters in the flesh. As a female cosplayer, I can see where you’re coming from in that respect, but I don’t think that it’s much of a problem. Sure, there are pervs who would rather see a slave Leia cosplayer than some random Jane Doe in street clothes, but nerds would also be thrilled to see a Zelda (who is always modestly dressed), too, because she’s a popular character and people often marvel at the detail put into some of these costumes.
Adam
Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 10:04 AMNice thought inspiring read. Would just like to point out that the paragraph about men not being threatened by raped or asked to perform fellatio by other men is incorrect, in my experience that’s exactly what happens while playing online… And then if we point out desensitising rape or some such of course we get called over sensitive or a genital organ. Also in my social group we often dismiss ideas of others by calling them fat, ugly or dirty as if it was a real reason. Straight white male here.
LeaT
Wednesday, April 4, 2012 at 9:35 PMAs much as I appreciate articles like these for trying to address a deep structural problem within a specific subculture, it must be understood that it is first and foremost a subculture. What the author is describing is far from a unique instance of one subculture being sexist, homophobic and racist. In fact, I’d argue that every Western subculture is like this, for the simple reason that they are Western subcultures and thus reflect the social structures of the Western society as a whole.
The argument goes beyond poor treatment of women, and I do wish articles like these would actually try to look at the entire depth of the issue instead of narrowing it down to one single instance where it occurs, because truth is, as long as the nerd community as a whole is simply that, a nerd community, there is little that can be changed since the problem extends far beyond the nerd community.
People that bring up Twilight as an example of male sexism have a point – but only to a point. Saying that it is only to cater female sexual interest isn’t quite right either, because it does just as much cater to the idea of male power. Women should admire men with abs, and that is exactly what Bella does. There’s already plenty of material written about the inherent sexism of Twilight that does again cater to male privilege, not the other way around.
Sexism towards males exist, but the sexism does rarely come from women but usually comes from other men. This is a very important point to understand. Male-dominated communities are rife with homophobia. This is because homosexuals, especially male homosexuals are social anomalies if we’re going to use Mary Douglas’ definition. Another way to describe it to say that they are abject. Regardless, the reason why words like “fag” and “gay” are common derogatory terms both in gaming and other male-dominated communities has to do with that an attempt to undermine the phallus of the men they are trying to insult by calling them out on their lack of manliness. If the Western society as a whole would have any interest in actually addressing these issues seriously, then homophobia should necessarily be included in this “anti-masculine” stance.
I would also like to address the sexist nature of player avatars, and it’s a two-fold problem. First, it does indeed cater to a male power fantasy; second, players prefer hypersexualized avatars to represent themselves within the gaming world. See “You Play Like a Girl!” article (google it!) for reference. This again goes to show that the problem goes deeper and far beyond any specific gaming representations, because it also shows that people are learnt to expect these things and that it caters to specific fantasies that we are taught to re-imagine. I wouldn’t want to play an ugly fat woman or guy, that’s for sure. At the same time, my actions of pretense reinforces the status quo. Again, the nerd community isn’t just the only one symptomatic of this issue, but it’s an issue of the entire Western society as a whole. Case in point, it is still however as sexist for me to expect men to look like Batman than just the regular guy next door as it is for me to expect Catwoman to show off her body in the way she does.
Furthermore, saying that objectification has become worse or increased is a false assumption. Women have been objectified since the beginning of culture. If anything, women have more power today than at any previous point in Western history and that is a GOOD thing, but their power is still not equal to that of men. That this article attempts to address seems to me to mostly try to address the problem of male privilege and how men are mostly scared to lose it. This entire “men’s movement” that declares women to be the bane of their existences and society as a whole is proof of this. Many men that are taught to enjoy their privilege are scared, and when pushed into a corner they backlash in the way only they know how to react in such a situation – to attempt to express their dominance more.
That most people laugh at these men as poor lonely bastards with low social skills is of course fortunate, because it shows that they are still in minority in exerting their phallus power and do so with quite much fail to boot. The problem is, as some people pointed out, that these men that the article really tries to address, are so blind-folded in their beliefs that women are simply there to spite them that it will make little difference if thousands upon thousands of these articles are made. They simply lack the self-reflection to understand their own social position and how their behavior and re-enactment of certain gender roles affect it.
The question if anything then, is how we are going to teach these men to be more self-reflective. I have no answer to that despite everything I’ve rambled regarding sociology and gender here. As I said, it’s a deep structural problem and if we’re serious about addressing it then it should not just be addressed within the nerd community (call me silly but “geek” never sat right with me…) but as we are people with many different identities, we seamlessly move within not one but several communities and as long the same structural problem exists elsewhere as status quo it will continually be reinforced as status quo.
Sure, it’s a start, but we’ve been here since the 70s with the second wave of feminism. Of course, for those wondering how to actually treat women, it’s a tough nut simply because some women do enjoy being objectified and treated as such (whether this is a byproduct of poor upbringing and lack of self-reflection and thus a result of the “dominance through consent” logic, or because they really are like that can be discussed further) and some women will backlash quite fervently at any mention of them even lacking a Y chromosome. But I guess that reinforces the article’s point – treat them as people. Treat them with respect regardless of what they are or what they do. Even if you think they make the worst possible choices they could in life, e.g. becoming teen pregnant, getting married at 18 and being stuck as a housewife all life or joining a radical feminist organization where burning bras is seen as children’s play, they still deserve respect. We can comment on what they do in life but it is ultimately their lives. We can complain that they play out and re-enact existing social structures, but other than telling them so (KINDLY and RESPECTFULLY), there is little we can do about it.
I can’t do much about the men that join the men’s movement either, as much as I find them silly and quite amusing but I won’t attempt to belittle them more than in conversations like these. They are still people and deserve respect as such. True empathy cannot just come from one side, but both sides. It’s ultimately about realizing it’s not us vs them. It’s not men vs women and it’s not nerds vs status quo. I know that for some gender is as if not important than religion and some even worship their gender as religion (e.g. certain strains of Satanism), but we need to look beyond our identities and not take them so seriously. I have come to the point where I personally rarely find men raging at me when I beat them in a game no longer offensive but mostly funny while I happily press the report button after they have spewed out their shit they felt like spewing at me in a poor attempt to retain their privilege, knowing very well that I may occasionally re-enact the same norms when I rage. (Why do we look down upon retarded people, for instance?)
It doesn’t mean that I don’t care or anything, but I just don’t take my gender so seriously. It matters but it doesn’t define the entirety of my existence. This became an incredibly long ramble but I suppose my solution to the problem is to simply not take one’s gender to seriously and be more self-critical about it. THEN we can start discussing about how to change our society to for the better.