RockeTAY League Adventures: Humble Beginnings

Mark and I opened our accounts in Kotaku's community-driven RockeTAY League last night. Problem was, we were against each other. So obviously I wasn't allowed to win, right?

Still, that didn't mean we couldn't make things interesting. WARNING: MANY small gifs after the jump.

The RockeTAY League has begun in earnest and last night Mark and I made our debut — against each other. My partner was the humble and lovely Batguy, while Mark teamed up with Freeze for a fast and furious best-of-three.

Having not played Rocket League in a serious context before, I wasn't entirely prepared for the start and ended up joining when we were already a goal down. (Whoops.) But in the opening set between Batdippas and Steel Cut Strokes, things began poorly.

Batguy and I struggled in the first few minutes. To connect with the ball, that is.

Our defence was equally spectacular, with SCS getting an inordinate amount of help even from the restart.

Everything was going wrong. Some of my interventions were so bad that I literally put the controller down and started at my ineptitude in full.

Needless to say, the first match ended in a thoroughly unspectacular 7-1 victory for SCS.

But Batguy and I could not let that stand. It may have been Batguy's first few games, but he had pride on the line. And although I'm contractually obligated (may not be entirely, or even remotely, true) to make my boss look good by losing, a man has dignity.

It was time for the comeback. After conceding the first goal, obviously.

A miscalculation from Mark gave Batdippas our second goal from the evening. We meant business — and SCS were thoroughly unprepared for our counter-assault.


The tide turned in our favour; Mark and Freeze began to fumble. Cracks began appearing in their armour. The scales were even once more.

The second match finished 5-4. After a 1-7 drubbing, Batdippas were back in contention. We were yet to rectify our poor starts, but momentum was now in our favour.

Batguy and I were on equal footing. It was a true test of wills at the start of the third game.

Mark picked up an early goal, but we combined to equalise before the end of the first minute.

Our momentum collapsed from there, however. The demons of the first set came back to haunt us tenfold. My play tanked immensely — and I wasn't the most helpful or amicable teammate to boot.

Things looked very, very bad. I was even tapping it in just to deny Mark an easy goal at one stage.

But with 90 seconds left on the clock, our dignity was on the line — again.

The comeback was back on the menu. It had to happen. For the sake of our pride — Batguy and I had to make it happen.

Two goals within 40 seconds got us within reaching distance. With less than 25 seconds on the clock, we were level. THE COMEBACK WAS HAPPENING.

But then, in the final seconds, two crucial mistakes. A failure of judgement on my part left Batguy exposed, an error Freeze was all too happy to capitalise on.

The comeback train, with one second to go, had come to a screeching halt.

After a ferocious 15 minutes, Steel Cut Strokes were victorious in three. 7-1, 4-5, 5-4. Everything was decided in the last few seconds.

This was the first week of RockeTAY League. The first week. I understand Mark's obsession now. I understand your obsession. And I also understand my own horrors.

To Batguy: my deepest apologies. I will be more polite in future. And to everyone else: also my deepest apologies.

BatDippas are coming for you. Prepare yourselves.


    The Ginger Cookies look forward to our match soon :)

      Yes! It will be a close and exciting match!


        Oh man I watched that... I was spectating and decided to record it.. not sure if you guys want to watch though.. was kind of one sided ;)

          Oh goodness me, no!

          Although I am proud that I a) scored a goal! and b) spent considerably less time driving on the walls than I thought I would.

    Round 2 begins tonight for the cARSEnal team. Wish us luck!

    At least it wasn't @markserrels writing this article to gloat.

    And it wasn't your fault, it was characteristic of my defending all game. Though if you're saying:
    I will be more polite in future
    then you obviously couldn't hear my voice chat. Mark and @freezespreston will be able to confirm that there was a shitload of swearing going on at my end.

      We're going to body some teams in the weeks to come.

        Ooh ooh, how do I get involved in this crazy Rocket League thingy. I'd love to show off my mad missing the ball completely and flying randomly around while trying to do an aerial!

      I'd like to imagine that mark and alex had like a secret side bet where the loser had to write an article proclaiming the ever lasting awesomeness of the victor =P

      Any chance we can get our next round match going tonight or Saturday by any chance? (Only because I'll be in Japan soon.)

    You should have stayed to see GOALDUST put on a clinic, granted it was only one member of goaldust and a sub but I was there for the first game!

    And after looking at the ladder it seems Rocket League is the place to be! GOALDUST are the team to beat! If you want some come get some!

    I'm mostly just disappointed the first line in this wasn't:

    Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

      What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

        Thing about Arsenal is - they always try and walk it in!

          Thing about cArsenal is - they always try to dr... never mind.

        The thing about Shane is, he always tries to drive it in.

          I must have known you were typing this.

    Scored a goal from out of my own goal last night... Pretty stoked! Just went to save a shot but clocked it right in the sweet spot and it made it!

      Those are the best saves aren't they.
      "That's what you get for trying to score in MY goal!!"

        3 v 3 too so i was a bit surprised they had no one hanging back a bit at all!

    Did I miss any links to where peeps could sign up for the league?

      Booked up for the first season, unfortunately. But you can live vicariously through - or set up another of your own!

      I'm in the same boat, I'm like, Kotaku has their own league??? Why am I only hearing about this now.
      Especially depressing to find the teams are all full too :(

        Me to, its like my school basketball team all over again .... everyone gets picked except me just watching from the sidelines (insert violin effects here)

        Well it's not really a full Kotaku league, it's really confined to TAY = Talk Amongst Yourselves; hence rockeTAY. Go join in the community over that way to keep up-to-date about cool things like this and more!

          Yeah, I figured it was in the TAY articles somewhere, but when I saw 678 comments I figured it would be too hard to find.

            Basically 600 of those comments are about Rocket League, and 70 are bad Dad joke puns. :D

              This is an accurate summary. I'm trying that new whisky diet. So far, I've lost three days!

          Oooh, so that's where it's all going on. Doh, I thought playing Rocket League would be enough :p

      @grummm_didley @coltzer @venophaze @hoi_polloi
      There is two teams right there. Perhaps if you join up in a team, perhaps you could possibly insert yourselves?

        Sounds like they're full, but I'd be up for it if there's room.

          Make your own league, with blackjack and hookers?

            Are you suggesting we play rocket league while playing blackjack with hookers or on hookers?

            either way that sounds like a plan to me!

              Why not all of the above? =P

    Cracks began appearing in their armour.

    I did what now?

      Appeared in their armour, like Jesus. Can't you read?

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