RockeTAY League Adventures: Humble Beginnings

RockeTAY League Adventures: Humble Beginnings

Mark and I opened our accounts in Kotaku’s community-driven RockeTAY League last night. Problem was, we were against each other. So obviously I wasn’t allowed to win, right?

Still, that didn’t mean we couldn’t make things interesting. WARNING: MANY small gifs after the jump.

The RockeTAY League has begun in earnest and last night Mark and I made our debut — against each other. My partner was the humble and lovely Batguy, while Mark teamed up with Freeze for a fast and furious best-of-three.

Having not played Rocket League in a serious context before, I wasn’t entirely prepared for the start and ended up joining when we were already a goal down. (Whoops.) But in the opening set between Batdippas and Steel Cut Strokes, things began poorly.

Batguy and I struggled in the first few minutes. To connect with the ball, that is.

Our defence was equally spectacular, with SCS getting an inordinate amount of help even from the restart.

Everything was going wrong. Some of my interventions were so bad that I literally put the controller down and started at my ineptitude in full.

Needless to say, the first match ended in a thoroughly unspectacular 7-1 victory for SCS.

But Batguy and I could not let that stand. It may have been Batguy’s first few games, but he had pride on the line. And although I’m contractually obligated (may not be entirely, or even remotely, true) to make my boss look good by losing, a man has dignity.

It was time for the comeback. After conceding the first goal, obviously.

A miscalculation from Mark gave Batdippas our second goal from the evening. We meant business — and SCS were thoroughly unprepared for our counter-assault.


The tide turned in our favour; Mark and Freeze began to fumble. Cracks began appearing in their armour. The scales were even once more.

The second match finished 5-4. After a 1-7 drubbing, Batdippas were back in contention. We were yet to rectify our poor starts, but momentum was now in our favour.

Batguy and I were on equal footing. It was a true test of wills at the start of the third game.

Mark picked up an early goal, but we combined to equalise before the end of the first minute.

Our momentum collapsed from there, however. The demons of the first set came back to haunt us tenfold. My play tanked immensely — and I wasn’t the most helpful or amicable teammate to boot.

Things looked very, very bad. I was even tapping it in just to deny Mark an easy goal at one stage.

But with 90 seconds left on the clock, our dignity was on the line — again.

The comeback was back on the menu. It had to happen. For the sake of our pride — Batguy and I had to make it happen.

Two goals within 40 seconds got us within reaching distance. With less than 25 seconds on the clock, we were level. THE COMEBACK WAS HAPPENING.

But then, in the final seconds, two crucial mistakes. A failure of judgement on my part left Batguy exposed, an error Freeze was all too happy to capitalise on.

The comeback train, with one second to go, had come to a screeching halt.

After a ferocious 15 minutes, Steel Cut Strokes were victorious in three. 7-1, 4-5, 5-4. Everything was decided in the last few seconds.

This was the first week of RockeTAY League. The first week. I understand Mark’s obsession now. I understand your obsession. And I also understand my own horrors.

To Batguy: my deepest apologies. I will be more polite in future. And to everyone else: also my deepest apologies.

BatDippas are coming for you. Prepare yourselves.


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