I feel like an idiot. I can't believe I didn't know this.
But now I know.
In Twilight Princess Midna actually speaks a form of garbled English.
Thanks to this thread on NeoGAF I discovered something that's apparently been known like... for years.
For the unitiated: Midna is the best. I may not be the biggest fan of Twilight Princess, but Midna is absolutely the best part of that game: great writing, great design, great character. Great story arc.
For the longest time I just though Midna's voice was a MIDI or something. I was wrong.
Here's Midna talking in Twilight Princess:
Here's Midna's chatter unscrambled into actual English!
This video is years old now, and I recognise that many of you will already be aware of this whole situation, but man. My mind is currently blown.