JB Hi-Fi Is Settling The Great Potato Cake War With Video Game Reviews

Look they're called potato cakes. Scallops have fish in them. It really is that simple, but Australians have spent decades fighting this unwinnable war.

And now there's a new front: JB Hi-Fi Reviews.

War. War never changes.

It's difficult to tell where and why this debate was reignited. But flash points in the great scallop/cake war can be sparked at any time without a moment's thought.

If I had to name a culprit, I'd say JB Hi-Fi reviewing savant Morris was to blame. He is the Gavrilo Princip to the Archduke Franz Ferdinand. (There's an obscure history reference for you!) But now the chips are falling and JB Hi-Fi reviewers across the country are being dragged into an unwinnable battle. This is trench warfare people and there are no winners.

We must pray for the safe return of these brave, JB Hi-Fi reviewing soldiers. May they realise the futility of war and come together over a shared love for potato cakes/scallops.

Can't we all just get along. Must we all suffer?

Godspeed. Across the country these young men and women are fighting the good fight. But this has gone on too long.

Peace in our time people.

Peace in our time.


    Its a potato scallop, as reference to how they are thinly cut, the (way too) thick ones are cakes.

      So like... scalloped potatoes? But that's a different thing.

        On the other hand, potato cakes are hash browns or mashed potato with flour in most of the world. Potato scallops are single slices.

      Never too thick if its cooked properly and has a crunchy outside Shell! Almost like a potato burger.

      To 'Scallop' is a verb so you can't have a 'scallop' of anything, only 'scalloped'. The only noun ones is the seafood.

      But a vital ingredient is always batter so yeah, Potato Cakes.

    The best ones I ever had were scallops. All the ones where I live are cakes.

    Potato scallop sorry.

    Language is defined by how its used, and if the majority say its scallop, its scallop.

      Regional differences in language and dialects exist all over the world. Australia has such huge geographical separations between it's main cities, they are like different countries in many ways.
      The majority in one location is completely different in another. You can hang on to your "scallop" term all you want, but ask for one in Victoria and you won't get very far. The converse is true for Victorians heading north.

        Sorry, let me fix my comment.

        Language is defined by how its used, and if the majority say its scallop, its scallop.*

        *This statement is in no way supposed to be an exhaustive comment that is designed to be correct for all time, nor include obvious nuances of regional dialects. The author assumes any such conditions are obvious and need not be stated.

          Oh come on, everyone knows internet comments are literal and unwavering representations of one's position and are legally binding under threat of tar-and-feather.
          You knew the rules when you signed up!

            Hah, glad you took it in good humour. Real talk; I agree with everything you said, I just didn't think it needed saying.

            We don't tar and feather around here. We get our brooms and declare shenanigans.

            Everyone knows that!!!

        Where I grew up in NSW we called them scallops. In my 20s I visited a fish & chip ship in Lorne and asked for some scallops.

        They were even Battered ffs but when I bit into that thing well... gross is an understatement.

          Haha, I'm sure they do that on purpose to catch out the out-of-state-ers :p

      Thats like standing in front of a church and asking patrons if they believe in God. Just because they all answer yes doesn't mean that everyone in the city believes.

        I think you've missed the point I was making; I'm not saying people can't or shouldn't say potato cake. I'm saying if they say potato cake the majority of people won't understand them.

    Aren't they two different things? The potato cakes i had back home are nothing like the potato scallops you get in Aus.

    they are potato scallops - as in they are scalloped out of the potato.

      But they are cooked using batter, so they are cakes.

    I have honestly never been in a takeaway where they were called Potato Cakes. It has always, in my 40+ years of life been Potato Scallops. They are two different things!

    Potato Cakes are a floury potato mix you make at home and roll out like pastry and cut into squares and then cook in the oven. They do NOT have batter on them. They taste OK. But they are not the delicately battered oily flavour sensation that is the deliciously hot Potato Scallop from the fish n chip shop.

    It really is that simple. ; p

      I've never in my life heard of that rolled out potato square thing you call a potato cake.

        See the first picture here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato_cake

          Also, just to confuse things, this quote from that page: "Potato scallops" redirects here. For scalloped potatoes, see Gratin. Great stuff.
          That article also mentions South/West Australia calls potato cakes "potato fritters", which arguably makes more sense than either cakes or scallops in this context. They're still always going to be potato cakes to me, however.

          That's a hash brown!

            Nah, the other two pictures are hash browns. The one at the top is mashed potato (not shredded), mixed with flour and baked. Hash browns are fried.

              Nah, it's a hash brown because that's what I think we'd call them around here. ;)

      Granted I only have 30 years experience, but I've never seen a fish+chip shop with "potato scallops" - just tasty, thin sliced, battered and salted potato cakes! SIMPLE ;D

      yeah so, that means nothing. Im 32 and have NEVER seen potato scallop in any fish and chip shop ive been into. Its all about your location

      I'd never heard of potato scallops until I tried to order a potato cake in Sydney. I was very confused to be served what was essentially just pure batter.

    I have never ever heard of a potato scallop before... is it a Sydney thing?

      That's what I'm wondering.... WTF is a potato scallop?

        I'll go you one better... WTF is a potato cake?

        Grew up in NSW, cake to me implies it's sweet.

          What about rice cakes or savoury pancakes? A cake to me just implies a broken down substance (like flour or mashed potato) cooked into a circular shape.

      Dunno 'bout Sydney, but up in Brissie we call 'em scallops.

      THE WAY GOD INTENDED (by which I mean the way I'm familiar and comfortable with).

        Ha! Acting like anything in Queensland is endorsed by gods.

      In the south (Victoria and Tasmania) they are called a potato cakes. Potato scallop in these states is the thingy layered potatoes and cheese.
      In the North, potato cakes are known as potato scallops.
      Bathers, swimmers, togs are all different ways to say the same thing. Bathing suit.

      Potato cake is almost exclusively limited to Victoria and South Australia, based on a 2015 survey. Potato scallop is the only term used for it in NSW and QLD, and the dominant term in NT and WA. It's also used in most of England, though Scotland prefers 'potato fritters'.

        So, potato cakes are more Aussie.

          SA/VIC 'more Aussie' than QLD/NSW/WA/NT.

          Fascinating - if deeply and obviously wrong - suggestion.

    Do you NSW/QLD'ers sell Pumpkin Cakes at your fish'n'chip shops? Or are they called Pumpkin Scallops?

      As a Melbournian, I've never seen a Pumpkin Cake / Pumpkin Scallop.

    Gotta give props for "But now the chips are falling"

    I think South Australia calls them Potato Fritters? As New South Welshman who calls them Scallops, I will admit Potato Fritter seems to be the most accurate name?

      As a potato cake man myself, I'll agree that 'potato fritter' seems to make the most sense and should be the true winner of this war

      A corn fritter is usually corn and batter so maybe this makes some sense...

      mmm then there are corned beef fritters too. Now im confused.


    Well, I'm in regional Victoria (only 1hr from Melbourne) and in my experience you can purchase a Pumpkin Cake in about 95% of Fish n Chip shops. They are absolutely scrumdiddlyumptious! They take the plain old Potato Cake to a whole new level.

    This war is a fiction.
    Potato scallops are deep fried slices of potato in batter.
    Potato cakes are mashed potato formed into a disc shape and then fried.
    Rise above.

    Here I am in South Aus wondering wtf any of this is. You Easterners are weird.

    Cake? Victorians are whack. Everywhere else in Australia calls em Scallops. Get with the program you hipsters.

      potato cake just rolls of the tongue better than potato scallop.

    What do you northerners call actual Scallops? Do you even sell deep fried Scallops?

      Sea Scallops - see how easy that is just throw a noun in there and your job is done.

        Or you could call Potato Cakes by their correct name and call a scallop a scallop.

          Mostly we call scallops, scallops.

          Only the venerable Potato Scallop gets the noun treatment in my area.

    Tomorrows hot topic:
    Pints, middy's, pots and schooners....

      Specifically "Pints" in South Australia. They can get fucked.

    Scallops for life! Also I must tell MrsBS about that Hello Kitty Rhythm Cooking game ;)

    Potato cake. Potato scallops are for those that call green/spring onions 'shallots' and call their kabana 'cabanossi' :p

      I'm not sure if you intended it, but cabanossi is used globally. Even in Poland (where it originated) and Germany (where it's most popular) the term 'kabanosy' is dominant. 'Kabanos' is the singular form.

      As for shallots, while I agree (I call them spring onions or scallions, personally), it's more a generalisation than a straight up mistake - all shallots are spring onions, not all spring onions are shallots.

        After living in both NSW and now Victoria, it appears that Cabanossi is the more popular form up north while Kabana is more common down here. They seem to both exist happily together on store shelves, but possibly the names get mixed up as they are such similar products.

          Yeah, we have some odd regional differences, considering how otherwise homogeneous we tend to be as a country.

          Kabana and cabanossi are 2 different products in QLD. The thicker sausage with milder spice is kabana. The thinner longer slightly more spicy sausage is cabanossi.

          Also the awesome beer stick is similar in size to a cabanossi but much spicier and awesome with a cold beer to wash it down. Do not confuse them.

            Are twiggy sticks a nationwide thing? Another great accompaniment for beer.

        TIL spring onions aren't necessarily shallots

    Look they're called potato cakes. Scallops have fish in them.

    You disappointed me with Fairy Bread.
    You crushed me with Peppermint.
    You called them Potato Cakes...
    And you are correct.
    Maybe there is hope for us yet young Serrels.

    Holy cow! i cant believe that people say things differently in different regions of this tiny island nation that is larger than the United States O.o. ....

    Last edited 26/07/17 12:39 pm

    At least it's only 2 choices.. try asking for devon/polony/luncheon-meat/fritz/.. in different states.

    I'm more of a latke person (grated potato and onion) or a hash brown in a pinch. Potato cakes/scallops are just not that good

      TBH I've never heard the term latke. My mother-in-law refers to them as 'potato pancakes', which always rubbed me the wrong way.

        Yeah I'd be more inclined to call them potato pikelets.

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now