Look they're called potato cakes. Scallops have fish in them. It really is that simple, but Australians have spent decades fighting this unwinnable war.
And now there's a new front: JB Hi-Fi Reviews.
War. War never changes.
It's difficult to tell where and why this debate was reignited. But flash points in the great scallop/cake war can be sparked at any time without a moment's thought.
If I had to name a culprit, I'd say JB Hi-Fi reviewing savant Morris was to blame. He is the Gavrilo Princip to the Archduke Franz Ferdinand. (There's an obscure history reference for you!) But now the chips are falling and JB Hi-Fi reviewers across the country are being dragged into an unwinnable battle. This is trench warfare people and there are no winners.
We must pray for the safe return of these brave, JB Hi-Fi reviewing soldiers. May they realise the futility of war and come together over a shared love for potato cakes/scallops.
Can't we all just get along. Must we all suffer?
Godspeed. Across the country these young men and women are fighting the good fight. But this has gone on too long.
Peace in our time people.
Peace in our time.