Crackdown 3 is available soon! I love it. Then again, I have complicated tastes. I dare not be so bold as to say you will also like it. So with this video, allow me to spell out 10 reasons you might like it. If there were an eleventh reason, that’d be “because you’re me.”
In this video I explain the boxes Crackdown 3 ticks for me across ten chapters:
00:44: The Jumping never stops being hilarious.
1:58: Terry Crews is wonderful in general, even if his personality is underused here. Terry is a billion times better than No Terry.
4:03: Stuff blows up extremely well. Every fight comes down to big dumb area damage and I love it.
5:22: The cars are stupidly fast and drift heavily. Your primary vehicle can transform into a “Spider” form that can scale walls. It is wildly difficult to control and I’m all for it.
6:39: My TV loves how colourful this game is. I was shocked by how many palm trees stud the landscape, and the vaporwave gradients of the sunsets slay me every time. If there’s a more colourful dystopia elsewhere, you’re gonna have to point me to it.
8:16: You’re more than a cop: you’re a cop who kills other cops. And the city is all cops.
9:46: In which I talk about the open-world subgenre “Buffet Table Video Games,” and their minor philosophical difference from “sandbox” games.
10:56: I want to play this game with my friends. I ruminate on how fun that might be.
12:17: The level designs remind me of the early days of PC shooters.
14:10: Finally, this game makes me remember many old, not-so-well-received games, each of which still contains today an interesting perspective on action game mechanics.
As of this writing, Crackdown 3's Metacritic score stands at 61. That’s not very high! I often joke to friends about how my ideal video game gets between a 60 and a 75 on Metacritic. Inspired by Crackdown 3's Metacritic score, just now I looked up the scores of all of the games I reference in the comparison segment at the end of my video. Every one of them that has a Metacritic listing sits between 60 and 75. (Vin Diesel’s Wheelman is a 64. God Hand is a 73.)
I’m not saying “Crackdown 3 is bad.” I’m not even saying “It’s sorta bad, and I don’t care.” I’m saying I loved it. As I often say, unless you’re committing an actual crime, you shouldn’t call it a “guilty” pleasure.
In closing, you can get a trial of Xbox Game Pass for $2 right now and play the game for two months. That’s wild.
$2! Come on! Why not play it, for that price? That’s less than it used to cost me to rent NES games for two days in 1987.
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