Asparagus salad. Inspirational quotes. Honest reviews. Red wine. Stock markets. Francis Bacon. These are all things (or people) you "put" bacon on in Bacon: The Game, one of the best and dumbest things on your phone.
Before the game ventures into zanier territory, you're tasked with learning the basics of bacon placement. A hand hovers a strip of bacon atop a pan, which you control by pressing down on the screen. Each level is really a basic physics puzzler: you're required to flip the pan at the right time and with just enough force so that the bacon lands on the object in question (or at least for long enough).
Levels get progressively harder - level 17 has you trying to land bacon on the number 17, while others want you to land bacon on the sawn woman, fish, a cactus, into a bottle of milk, and a pina colada.
It's made by Philipp Stollenmayer, the same German developer behind Supertype. That game revolved around a similar mechanic: a physics-based puzzle game where the physics involved letters falling and tumbling over themselves and various obstacles. Bacon is basically that, but funnier.
The operatic music in the trailer is no accident, either. You'll get a similar bellowing from your headphones every time you finish a level, which is completely at odds with the fact that you just ruined someone's date night by dunking a nice, salty rasher into their glass of wine.
Bacon: The Game is the perfect kind of dumb distraction for a train or car ride home. Importantly, it's a pretty minimalist ad-free model. If you want to skip a particular level then you only have to sit through a 30 second ad. There's no microtransactions or other payments, and you can choose whether you want banner ads displaying at the bottom or pop-up style ads every so often.
Either way, it's an easy laugh while remaining completely free - the good kind of free, that is. Bacon: The Game is available on Android and iOS now through their respective stores.