I Can’t Wait To Bully Pokémon Shield’s New Psychic Type Rival

I Can’t Wait To Bully Pokémon Shield’s New Psychic Type Rival
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The upcoming Pokémon Sword and Shield DLC, The Isle Of Armour, will feature two new rivals exclusive to each of the games. Sword will get Klara, who specialises in poison type Pokémon, while Shield will get Avery, a psychic type gym trainer. I have Shield, and while Klara is demonstrably cuter than Avery, I can’t wait to bully that little nerd.

First of all, take a look at this dweeb. He’s wearing a top hat, a frilly collar, and knee high socks. That’s already a lot of look. At this point I noticed that he’s also tucking his sports jersey into his shorts. I know it’s tempting fate to make fun of someone that is the master of extremely powerful Pokémon, but I can’t help it. Have you ever seen a bigger dork in your life?

Although I ended up choosing Shield over Sword because of Galarian Ponyta, who is my child, I was a little disappointed that I’m stuck with the demonstrably worse legendary. Sword players get Zacian, a cool dog with a sword, whereas I get Zamazenta, a weird dog with a beard shaped like a shield. Besides that, there’s not a huge amount of difference between the games, other than a few gym leaders, but if I know anything from playing Pokémon since I was a child, the game with the lamer legendary is usually the less popular game.

All my buyer’s remorse goes away now. As cute as Avery is—and she’s so cute with that puffy coat and bow on her head—I cannot wait to grind Avery into the dust. He’s the perfect rival. I wanna steal his lunch money.


  • This seems like a weird article and a bad joke from a site that normally pushes being morally decent towards odd and weird people.

    • Agreed! I’m actually quite gobsmacked. How did it get approval? I assume it’s meant to be a joke, but it’s not funny.
      The whole article is based on someone being a bit different and how they should be bullied for it. What year is it!?

      • Bit weird to be criticised for taking games too seriously and focusing too much on the issues in them, and then to have criticisms from people who then say we’re not treating characters with enough humanity and shouldn’t be joking about them.

        It’s like pissing outside Conan’s house in Death Stranding. Doesn’t the man deserve more respect?

        (i’m not having a go at either of you personally, but the double standard is a bit … ¿por qué?)

        • Is it a double standard from the audience or is it a case of the writers having their cake and eating it too?

          I chalk it up to the mystery of the dance.

        • I did give a slight “huh” but then thought like most things online, eh. I mean i could get all antsy and go how dare you… Or i won’t… and i’ll go back to my tv show knowing i’m going to keep reading kotaku and now look for moments like these to eh about.

          Tries to think of any game where factions and the like exist.. Can’t think of one. But if this was team rocket and you were like i’m going to grind them, THEN totes up in arms.

  • “I can’t wait to bully that little nerd.”

    Wow. When a sentence sounds as bad in context as out of it, then maybe reconsider it?

    At that point I thought it was just a tasteless, throwaway joke. But you don’t just suggest that bullying is justified because someone looks different, the whole article is built on that premise.

  • Is it actually a rival or just another annoying friend that will follow you around and tell you how amazing you are for remembering that grass is weak to fire for the 3rd time this match.

  • This probably the best (and only) article I’ve ever read, most of the other commenters on this post are very butthurt over rather pointless things although I think you had no ill intentions, I personally found this really funny. ps. In the 2nd sentence of the last paragraph you referred to Avery as cute and then preceded to describe Klara, might of been an typo or maybe I’m seeing things, i dont kbow anumore im really tired 🙂

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