That’s One Monstrous Mythical Monkey, Pokémon Sword & Shield

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That’s One Monstrous Mythical Monkey, Pokémon Sword & Shield
Image: The Pokemon Company (Kotaku

After weeks of teasing, the Pokémon Company reveals Zarude, the rogue monkey Pokémon, the latest Mythical Pokémon for Pokémon Sword and Shield. Look at its claws. Check out its teeth. It’s amazing anyone in the Galar region is still alive.

I was hoping the teasing silhouette posted on the official Pokémon Twitter account on February 14 was a twisted, demonic evolution of Mr. Mime. This is close. Zarude is a Dark/Grass Pokémon who can, according to the official announcement, grow vines on its neck, wrists, and the soles of its feet at will. That is horrifying. The official art looks like Powerpuff Girls antagonist Mojo Jojo on a naked, PCP-fuelled rampage.

Illustration: The Pokemon Company

Here is Zarude’s official description:

This Mythical Pokémon lives in a pack deep in the dense forests of Galar. It treats anyone that isn’t part of its pack with immediate hostility. When fighting, Zarude swings around from tree branches, attacking relentlessly with its sharp claws. Its quick wit helps it excel in battles.

It lives in a pack. That means that there’s always more of these vicious, territorial creatures just around the corner. Great. Awesome. Can’t wait.

Fortunately for my nightmares, Zarude is only available in Pokémon Sword & Shield and cannot be encountered in regular gameplay, so avoiding his blood-caked claws and rotting meat lined teeth should be easy. I’m going to go play Temtem now.

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