The next generation is officially here. As I write this, I’ve just received and hooked up my PS5, next to my recently purchased Xbox Series X. They are two big blocks of expensive technology and plastic, with tons of new features and more powerful innards. Yet, these new consoles still make the same beep-boop noises when you turn them on. This is disappointing.
I’m a simple man. Sure, I love 4k visuals as much as anybody else. And yeah, I dig high framerates and fast loading too. So, these consoles are providing me with a good return on my money. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit sad and deflated when I turned on either console and heard the same damn beep as the last few generations.
On Xbox Series X, the console startup beep is the same as the Xbox One, which was a similar, but different beep, as heard on Xbox 360. Meanwhile, the PS5 is using the same beep the PS4 used, which is the same beep all the old PS3 models used. This is a classic beep from a different, bygone era.
These new consoles are expensive pieces of hardware and the next generation of gaming, yet they still make the same beep-boop noises like an old PS3 or dusty Xbox One. Like buying a new Ferrari and it has the same horn as your old Honda minivan. It feels out of place.
I assume there is an element of nostalgia at this point. I sort of get that, but it does seem odd. Why not use the launch of new consoles to create a new bleep, bloop, or even, dare I ask, a new blurp?! Why don’t any consoles blurp? Or maybe a short jingle written by a famous musician? Or a selection of bleeps and bloops and the owner of the console gets to decide which bleep they get to hear when booting up the machine. These consoles have so many teraflops and the companies creating them have the money so I’m not sure why we don’t have any new bleeps, bloops, blurps or beeps.
I’m sitting at my desk, staring at the PlayStation 5 looming over my media stand — “entertainment centre” is a little too grandiose for the small piece of Target furniture that holds all my gaming stuff — and wondering how the hell I’m going to review this thing. How would my boss, whose various PlayStation 4 reviews I’ve skimmed several times so as to glean some insight into what I should cover, review this thing? How can anyone, at this very moment in time, review this thing?Read more
So far we’ve shown you how PS5 loads games very quickly and Xbox Series X and S load games very quickly. Long story short, both systems load next-gen games at ludicrous speeds while giving older games a little push. But in order to gauge how ludicrous is ludicrous, we needed...Read more