The Factory In Resident Evil Village Is So Damn Boring

The Factory In Resident Evil Village Is So Damn Boring
Don't open. Boredom inside. (Screenshot: Capcom)

I’m tired of Heisenberg’s Factory in Resident Evil Village. So much so that I, once again, might quit playing. The difference here from Village’s infamous Dollhouse — that also caused me to almost quit the game prematurely — isn’t because the factory is particularly scary or difficult. It’s just tedious. It’s a labyrinthine place filled with monsters that cause cheap, anxiety-rocketing jump scares, and I’m just over it.

Within Resident Evil Village, Heisenberg’s factory and Lady Dimitrescu’s castle occupy essentially the same function. They’re sprawling locations in which you make incremental progress by solving puzzles and collecting doo-dads that unlock access to the next level where you have to do it all again. I’ve already completed Lady Dumptru — *ahem* — Lady Dimitrescu’s castle, the horrors of the Dollhouse, and the lycan stronghold (Moreau’s lagoon too, but of the Four Lords he’s not really worth mentioning, which is kinda sad given his whole thing is being insecure about his place as a Lord). I can tell I’m within spitting distance of the end of the game. And the achievement of finishing my first Resident Evil is well within my grasp, but the factory is enough to make me go, “Ehh, I’ll watch a Let’s Play for the rest.”

I'm weary just looking at this. (Screenshot: Capcom) I’m weary just looking at this. (Screenshot: Capcom)

It’s not the fact that it’s easy to get lost. I had a hell of a time navigating the village and Lady D’s domicile because I’m terminally directionally challenged. Nor is it the fact that the factory is scary because while the Dollhouse fucked me up, I still soldiered through and felt pretty good at the end. There’s just something about the factory that makes it feel less compelling as an area and more tedious.

It might be that the scares are kinda toothless. Those soldat creatures that lurk in the shadows are nowhere near as compelling (or sexy) as Lady D and the buggy bunch. (Though make no mistake, if it was Heisenberg himself stalking me through those halls this’d be a different conversation. Resident Evil Village is Bisexual Panic: The Horror Game.) The scares are also telegraphed from a mile away. Once I made it up to the third basement level and walked into a room littered with ammo and crafting supplies with a giant, spinning turbine for a ceiling, I knew right away some bullshit was about to pop-off. Sure enough, a new enemy literally jet-packed in to lead on a merry chase as I panic-fired through my entire ammunition stores.

Yeah, I'd hit that (with a grenade to the face). (Screenshot: Capcom) Yeah, I’d hit that (with a grenade to the face). (Screenshot: Capcom)

It was at that point that I considered giving up. I hadn’t been playing for very long but I was tired. Worse than that, the kind of stress the game was inspiring wasn’t the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat sort that got me through the first three quarters of the game. I got through Castle Dimitrescu and the Dollhouse through sheer force of will and my desire to finally summit baby’s first Resident Evil. I got through the village, the Isle of Dr. Moreau, and the stronghold because, by then, I had amassed so much ammo and materials that it was fun mowing through the game as an invincible goddess of rage.

“Oh, what’s that? The nigh-unkillable lycan leader with the big scary hammer? Here, eat some rockets that I’ve hoarded for the entire game and thus have plenty to put you down with ease.”

But by the factory, all my ammo was gone and there were no sexy vampire milfs chasing me, so I was just bored.

I hate the idea of quitting at what is ostensibly the finish line. I hope that whatever Mother Miranda is preparing for me is more interesting than Heisenberg’s factory of tedium. There’s also the unfinished business I have with Chris “I’m probably not the bad guy but I’m very bad at communicating” Redfield. Maybe that encounter will breathe new life into the climax of this game.

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