Amazon’s New World MMO Won’t Let You Name Yourself Jeff Bezos

Amazon’s New World MMO Won’t Let You Name Yourself Jeff Bezos
Screenshot: Amazon / Kotaku

No, you cannot name yourself Jeff Bezos or any variant thereof in Amazon’s recently released and incredibly messy Massively Multiplayer Online Colonisation Simulator, The New World. This is unsurprising given the extremely fragile egos of the most powerful men on earth.

Even in beta, The New World suffered its fair share of name shenanigans, most notably when a player changed her in-game name to AmazonOfficial only to then spread true (but unflattering) facts about the company to its playerbase. So it makes sense that Amazon would beef up the game’s naming restrictions before the full release. The rules as written are that you cannot “Impersonate any individual or entity, including employees or representatives of Amazon.”

For those of you hoping to skate by with variants like ‘Jeg Beezbors’ or ‘Jebb Feyzos’ (you can have these two for free, we checked), I have bad news for you. You also cannot “use misspellings, alternate spellings, or combinations of words, symbols, and letters to produce a result that would otherwise violate this policy.” Even if you secure the coveted Beezbors name, if Amazon notices, you may be forced to change it after the fact.

Blocking names, and their associated variants, can be an incredibly difficult and time-consuming process. One Twitch streamer, @thomsimonson on Twitter, posted a video exemplifying how difficult this can be, specifically around the still-ongoing Twitch hate raids. This makes the fact that The New World team took the time to implement a ban for an easy joke feel even more ridiculous.

For those of you still searching for a real workaround, I wish you all the luck in the world. If you actually manage to do it, you’ll be the only person playing the game as Jeff on account of the game’s unique name rules, which apply to every server.

Uber-rich men known for facilitating hellish working conditions and company policies are famously sensitive individuals. To be made fun of is, for egotistical weirdos, the highest form of oppression they can envision, and they will do some wildly cringe-y shit to try and get you to stop. It never works, because they just make it so easy.

Comments

  • “This makes the fact that The New World team took the time to implement a ban for an easy joke feel even more ridiculous.”

    No way, I had no idea that the Twitch team were now merged with Amazon Games Orange County! Why didn’t they just create built-in Twitch-streaming integration, then? Those Twitch engineers working on New World have no idea what they should be doing, why are they even working for Amazon Games Orange County?

    “To be made fun of is, for egotistical weirdos, the highest form of oppression they can envision, and they will do some wildly cringe-y shit to try and get you to stop. It never works, because they just make it so easy.”

    So if I start verbally harassing someone, and they start trying to get me to stop, does that mean I’m in the right and they’re just egotistical weirdos because they can’t take a joke? The Human Rights Commission and the new E-Safety Commissioner better watch out.

  • // Uber-rich men known for facilitating hellish working conditions and company policies are famously sensitive individuals //
    Are they though?

    Because I’d be genuinely surprised if someone like Bezos would personally give two shits about something like this at all.

    The author acts like Bezos called up the fuckin’ New World team crying about people making fun of him… When in reality this shit is probably SO far beneath him he doesn’t even know it was happening to begin with.

    Realistically this was more than likely some manager type making the decision, and didn’t at all all involve a call from fucking Olympus because the peasants were pretending to be Zeus.

  • I got the names – Hey Google and Hey Siri. Not sure how long it will last but im gunna have a good chuckle when people say it out loud and their phones start going beep beep!

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