Gamer chairs are great and all, but they are far too large for a baby.
Babies, historically, have been small. There are large babies, monstrously huge infants that live to one day tower over their normal-sized parents who live in fear of them. But compared to the average human, babies are small. This means if you put them on a regular gaming chair, they probably will look ridiculous.
Not only that, but if you put a baby in front of a desk with two curved monitors, a mechanical RGB keyboard and mouse, and ask the baby to nail a 360 quickscope, it will have no idea what you’re talking about. This is not because the baby is a stupid idiot. No, no, it’s because the baby simply hasn’t been taught how to hit a sick clip in a way that makes sense to babies.
Not to worry though, baby owners! There is a way to up-skill your non-gamer baby. Enter the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair.
That’s right, gone are the days of your baby being so shit at video games that it’s catching L’s and getting ratio’d. Your baby will no longer be considered an embarrassment in that fringe Discord you added it to for some reason, despite the baby not being able to read.
First spotted on Engadget, the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair includes a light-up keyboard and a gaming headset to really get your baby in the right mood to call somebody a slur online. The chair itself has holes for airflow because your baby is going to crack a sweat while slamming the keyboard to make sounds come out of it. In a gamer way.
Clearly, the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair is the perfect toy for any gamer baby wanting to imitate their gamer parents. The keyboard even includes piano keys to play music, meaning it’s actually better than your own set-up and could cause you to resent your quirked up gamer baby that can annihilate you in Fortnite and then start playing Chopin in a way that mocks you relentlessly.
In the end, maybe it’s actually not a good idea to buy the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair. Maybe your baby isn’t supposed to be a gamer. Maybe you live in fear of your baby being better at games than you. But is it the baby’s fault? Or is the problem you, the nincompoop that loses a video game to a literal baby?
At this point, the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair is not available in Australia. Similarly, there is still no Australian release date for the Steam Deck.