The most obvious way to tell if Elden Ring is a Souls game isn’t its satisfyingly difficult gameplay loop or incomprehensible lore. No, the true test of Elden Ring’s inherent Souls-ness lies with the messaging system, in which players can leave behind asynchronous notes to give their fellow Tarnished tips about impending dangers or troll them into jumping off a cliff.
That said, Elden Ring players can’t just write whatever they want. Messages are constructed, like in previous FromSoftware games, using Mad Lib-style templates into which players can plug a long list of words encompassing proper nouns, directions, emotions, animals, and much more. While this is good enough to talk about what’s hiding around the corner in a dungeon, for example, players also come up with clever ways to circumvent these restrictions for more vulgar purposes.
Here are some of the best messages I’ve found in the Lands Between a little over 20 hours into my time with Elden Ring. And yes, many of them are dirty. I’m a child.
Elden Ring isn’t in Fortnite (yet), so this is probably the next best thing.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/df043a401d8fbcb13d1d18bbcc2da263.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Oh good, I was wondering when it was going to show up.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/55161fc32bd806583c0cfbfbd24b8218.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
This isn’t from a player, but I couldn’t help but laugh at Elden Ring’s deadpan, on-the-nose explanation of this NPC’s status.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/85beb39a7183b08f0aceda0f82c45286.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Sometimes the best messages are the most obvious. Yep, those are legs. Thank you, nameless Tarnished.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/9e8f86576f1690b1b472dce5be3e73d5.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Elden Ring is intense, so you gotta find time to rest where you can. Why not a giant, wooden chair?
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/cf52721f55cf7d7c0ac92f3bcf117928.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Leave that poor, old lady alone.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/e86fbf44b91c2618ea4cb50f1a086ced.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
The best messages, in my mind, combine text with gestures that complete or add to the joke.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/a41a26ed13f6d4714c1af462027a4a92.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Ditto.
Ditto.
FOUND MY NEW FAVOURITE MESSAGE pic.twitter.com/3P9s3JncsZ
— ᶜʰᵃʳˡᶦᵉ💤 (@_Papillon_Heart) February 28, 2022
Additionally, it’s really fun when a message sets up a joke…
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/b5c2b476aae35c96cd508c64d76b24c9.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
…and something in the world completes the punchline.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/5ac242aea9c38f94ba494f3333b55ff0.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Some of the most disappointing moments in Elden Ring have come from not being able to use the giant ballistae that menace you in certain regions. Give us a lever, FromSoftware!
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/32eff2fb0289d24d1b55f11c1364c2bb.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
I think these guys are too far gone to save, but it’s a nice thought.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/2db6b20e79a2e025967ec6788a5c57cf.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Listen, knowing your limits is important. Do what you gotta do, just be safe.
![Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku](https://www.kotaku.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/01/acc1687ca9bae8bbe313d514d2110f98.jpg?quality=75?quality=75)
Just in case you, like me, wonder if Elden Ring might pull a Sekiro-like snake jumpscare every time you cross a long bridge, this helpful message should set your mind at ease.
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