Say what you will about the performance issues with Pokémon Scarlet and Violet (PSV), it can’t take away from some of the Pokédex entries. While it’s so easy to just glaze straight past the in-game descriptions as you send another new Pokémon’s book spinning to the virtual shelf, it’s often worth pausing to take a look, because within them are some gems. We’ve compiled some of our favourite entries, which is to say, the most messed up ones.
It’s worth knowing that those Pokédex entries change based on which version of the game you’re playing, which is typical for the series. Sometimes one version will offer quite a plain description, while the other goes to a weirdly dark place; other times, both get damned creepy. We can only imagine the job of writing out entries for 400 different Pokémon, let alone doing it all twice. It’s no wonder that sometimes the writers want to sneak in something…odd.
Here are our 15 favourites, in no discernible order.
Drowzee
Drowsey seems such an innocuous Pokémon that it surely could only have something lighthearted written about it, right? Wrong. It turns out it’s one of the most nightmarish Pokémon of all time. Don’t let it near your children.
Violet’s entry is pretty ordinary, although with an edge of creepy:
When it twitches its nose, it can tell where someone is sleeping and what that person is dreaming about.
But Scarlet’s is just plain terrifying. Horror movie elevator pitch stuff:
It remembers every dream it eats. It rarely eats the dreams of adults because children’s are much tastier.
Hard nope.
Tarountula
The Gen 9 Pokémon Tarountula might be demonstrative of the U.S. translation team’s weariness with coming up with new names, but not of a lack of a sense of humour. While Violet tells us about how “the thread it secretes from its rear is as strong as wire,” and how it achieves this is matter of “ongoing research,” it’s Scarlet that throws in a surprise
The ball of threads wrapped around its body is elastic enough to deflect the scythes of Scyther, this Pokémon’s natural enemy.
Wait…what? Scyther, the giant bug monster who could probably eat spiders for lunch? For context, Tarountula is 0.30 m wide, and weighs 4 kg. Scyther is 4’11”, and weighs 56 kg. Now, it’s still a big spider, but clearly, up against a vast mantis made of knives, it wouldn’t even be a contest. Natural enemy?! Just perfect.
Haunter
Messed up Haunter entries are something of a tradition for the Pokémon franchise. Pokémon Sword said, “If licked, its victim starts shaking constantly until death eventually comes.” Arceus noted, “According to rumour, victims of a Haunter’s lick will wither to death day by day.” As far back as Ruby and Sapphire it was said, “This Pokémon will try to lick you with its tongue and steal your life away.” But both versions of the new Gen 9 game really ramp it up:
In Scarlet, we’re told:
It likes to lurk in the dark and tap shoulders with a gaseous hand. Its touch causes endless shuddering.
While in Violet:
In total darkness, where nothing is visible, Haunter lurks, silently stalking its next victim.
Gothitelle
Gothitelle also has a torrid history of descriptions. In Black & White 2, it was said, “It can see the future from the movement of the stars. When it learns its Trainer’s life span, it cries in sadness.”
By Shield this got even weirder with, “A criminal who was shown his fate by a Gothitelle went missing that same day and was never seen again.”
But that’s as nothing compared to the new version of Gothitelle’s apparent living hell, this cursed Cassandra’s nightmare extending way beyond the end of a Trainer’s life.
In Scarlet we’re told:
Gothitelle unleashes psychic energy and shows opponents dreams of the universe’s end. These dreams are apparently ethereal and beautiful.
But in Violet all that sad beauty is replaced with:
It gazes at the stars to predict the future. It acts somewhat detached because it has seen the end of all existence.
Brrrrrrrrrr.
Foongus / Amoonguss
We don’t want to start some sort of internal fight, but there’s clearly some confusion over the nature of this mushroomish monster. With both Foongus and Amoonguss sporting the same Poké Ball-like cap, the PSV Pokédex entries seem to try to play both sides of the chicken vs egg debate.
For Foongus, in Scarlet, we get:
There is a theory that the developer of the modern-day Poké Ball really liked Foongus, but this has not been confirmed.
I love how this reads like a straight dunk on the stupid design of the Pokémon. But then get to Violet’s description of Amoonguss and it says:
Amoonguss mimics Poké Balls. It is not yet clear whether this mimicry is effective against other Pokémon.
WELL WHICH IS IT?!
Cubchoo
Gen 5 Pokémon Cubchoo is, without question, the most disgusting pocket monster of all. Its revolting tendril of boogey dangling from its nose makes me want to gag, and there’s just no excuse. Use a tissue, you Charmin reject.
So it is that the games have really leaned in. White’s was particularly grim, saying, “It sniffs the snot back up because the mucus provides the raw material for its moves.” In Sword we were told, “It will smear its snot on anyone it doesn’t like.” Now in Scarlet we’re told:
If a Cubchoo lacks dangling snot, there’s a chance it is sick.
But Violet makes it much worse, saying,
When Cubchoo starts sneezing, watch out! If it spatters you with its frosty snot, you’ll get frostbite.
I think I’d welcome frostbite’s freezing demise if I’d had that wretched creature sneeze on me. No shower could ever make that go away.
Sinistea
Ghost types are clearly where the writers have their fun. Sinistea, part of Sword and Shield’s deeply peculiar divergence into a whole Beauty & the Beast fan-fiction, got some odd entries for that game. We learned that it forms when “a lonely spirit possessed a cold, leftover cup of tea.” It was added, “It absorbs the life-force of those who drink it. It waits patiently, but opportunities are fleeting — it tastes so bad that it gets spat out immediately.”
But Scarlet removes any generous ambiguity left by the previous game:
The soul of someone who died alone possessed some leftover tea. This Pokémon appears in hotels and houses.
Then Violet, noticing you reeling from the news that it’s a dead person, throws down with:
Sinistea gets into your body when you drink it, and then it steals your vitality from within. It also tastes awful.
Tsareena
This is where things get splendid. Tsareena has been around since Gen 7, one of the franchise’s somewhat concerning number of…sexy flowers? Vampish, eccentric, and more than a lot drag-queen, in Pokémon Sun we were told, “Its long, striking legs aren’t just for show but to be used to kick with skill. In victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously.”
By Sword we learned, “This feared Pokémon has long, slender legs and a cruel heart. It shows no mercy as it stomps on its opponents.” Shield was even harsher. “A kick from the hardened tips of this Pokémon’s legs leaves a wound in the opponent’s body and soul that will never heal.”
So it’s a thing of pure joy that in Scarlet and Violet, games that so prominently feature newfound LGBTQ mascot Quaquaval, that this should be the Violet colour text:
This Pokémon launches fierce yet elegant kicks with its long, slender legs. It views Quaquaval as its rival.
Yes. Yass. Tucks in, heels off, let’s go ladies.
Rabsca
Again, I have questions. Rabsca is a damned weird Pokémon — it evolves from Rellor, which is unequivocally a dung beetle. The creature pushes a ball of poo around with it everywhere it goes, the Pokédex entries lying that it’s “mud.” We know what it is. I had one in my team for so long, because…it’s pushing its poo around with it! Then, when I finally figured out how to evolve it, I got Rabsca. A sort of purple blob with what looked like an ancient, dead insect dangling from it. I had questions. The answers don’t clear anything up.
Scarlet tells us one thing:
The body that supports the ball barely moves. Therefore, it is thought that the true body of this Pokémon is actually inside the ball.
But then Violet wholly contradicts this information with:
An infant sleeps inside the ball. Rabsca rolls the ball soothingly with its legs to ensure the infant sleeps comfortably.
It can’t be both! Is it a sentient ball with a fake body, or a real body pushing a helpless egg? If you don’t know, Game Freak, don’t make stuff up! Go do your research! Did the Academy teach you nothing?
Houndoom
Houndoom, as we all know, is a shit. Just to make this abundantly clear, both games explain how sinister the attack dog creature really is. Violet’s reasonably soft about it:
Upon hearing its eerie howls, other Pokémon get the shivers and head straight back to their nests.
But Scarlet picks a very different direction:
If you are burned by the flames it shoots from its mouth, the pain will never go away.
Oh great. I guess I’ll be staying in during my time in Paldea then. Forever.
Pachirisu
Every generation of Pokémon seems to get at least one lazily reimagined version of Pikachu. From Dedenne to Emolga to Morpeko to Plusle, they’re not exactly subtle about it. Which is why I so especially love the scorn with which Scarlet’s description of Pachirisu drips:
It’s one of the kinds of Pokémon with electric cheek pouches. It shoots charges from its tail.
Daaaaaamn. Someone wasn’t impressed.
Palossand
I’ve always thought my finding Palossand creepy was on me, rather than the Pokémon. Sandygast, from which it evolves, seems more overtly creepy, it’s face contorted into a scream of horror, presumably at the spade jabbed into its head. But Palossand looks far more like it’s come to terms with its haunted sandcastle existence. Perhaps, too comfortable though.
Scarlet, which let’s remember is ostensibly a kids’ game, says this of the sand beast:
The terrifying Palossand drags smaller Pokémon into its sandy body. Once its victims are trapped, it drains them of their vitality whenever it pleases.
Good lord. Then just in case that weren’t enough, Violet adds:
From the hollows in its arms, it fires the bones of its victims, which are all dried up after being drained of their vitality.
Goodnight, kids!
Mimikyu
If you don’t love Mimikyu, the monster who just wants to be loved like Pikachu, then we can never be friends. The Homsar of the Pokémon world, this poor, bewildered creature’s attempts to be mistaken for Pikachu are totally adorable. In PSV, Mimikyu gets given a one-two punch from the Pokédex writers.
Mimikyu has two forms, Disguised and Busted. The latter is after it takes a hit, and its Pikachu costume gets broken. Which is mean. But not as mean as Violet’s description of the Disguised form:
Mimikyu was only recently identified as a Pokémon. Previously, people thought it was just a ghost wearing a cloth.
“Just”? “JUST”?!
Oh! What’s that?! Dear god is that a Pokémon in my house?! Quickly, call the church and ask for a… Oh no, wait a moment, it’s fine. It’s just a ghost wearing a cloth.
Then Violet takes things from weird to dark, with its description of the Busted form:
It has taken damage and can no longer hold the head of its cloth disguise upright. For as long as it lives, Mimikyu will never forget its attacker.
Will. Never. Forget.
Greavard
The Gen 9 Pokémon Greavard began incredibly creepy. Its introductory video showed it, without much room for any other interpretation, playing with a human to death. It turns out, the poor creature is so damn dangerous, it’s already been banned from some tournament play!
But fuck me, if you were already feeling bad for this over-enthusiastic little pup, that just wants to be friends but apparently kills all it approaches, wait until you see how Scarlet chooses to describe it:
It is said that a dog Pokémon that died in the wild without ever interacting with a human was reborn as this Pokémon.
Oh gooooooooooooddddddddddddddddd.
Jumpluff
Cute little Jumpluff! For years, the Pokémon games described this second-stage creature with lightness, mentioning how it enjoys drifting on the breeze, scattering its spores. It hasn’t appeared since Sun and Moon, but good gravy, something happened in the meantime.
Let’s start with Violet’s description, given it’s only a bit upsetting:
Beware its cotton spores. If you accidentally breathe them in, you’ll be racked with coughs and itchiness.
Before we get to Scarlet’s Pokédex entry, I want to re-emphasise the almost identical text that has been used in previous generation’s dexes. Typical is X’s:
Blown by seasonal winds, it circles the globe, scattering cotton spores as it goes.
And now here’s Scarlet’s:
Jumpluff travels on seasonal winds. Once its cotton spores run out, its journey ends, as does its life.
What the hell, Scarlet writers? Are you OK? Blink twice if you need some help.
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