On Thursday, we went over how PC gamers were clearly superior to their console ilk. Just kidding, that’s elitism. But now we’re back to talk about all the major consoles and their merits. Reliable, sturdy, and won’t break your bank for chasing the graphics, what’s not to love about picking a console?
However, my friendly console user, approach these waters with caution. If you’re out there asking which console might be the best fit for you, those console fanboys do bite. But if you refrain from saying the following, you may avoid potential injury from the caustic flame wars that plague our community.
“Is your PS5 the right side up?”
When even the people who make the console place it upside down, chances are very good that your PS5-owning friend isn’t immune.
“I can’t believe you have to pay for multiplayer”
OK, PC gamers, I can definitively say we’ve won this one. Us console owners actually have to pay around $US60 ($83) a year just to play Call of Duty with our friends. Meanwhile, I’m here getting flamed in League of Legends for free.
“Game Pass Is Better Than PS Plus”
You’re just killing the vibe, man. We have to be happy downloading PlayStation classics. Let’s not even mention Playstation Now. Meanwhile, folks with Game Pass have have a nearly overwhelming number of options to play, some of which come out on release day.
“When are we getting a new PlayStation Vita?”
It may have introduced me to my one and only love, Persona 4 Golden, but if you force me to think about how this delightful little console was a major flop, I actually might cry. The PS5 will soon get something that will let you stream your games on the go, but it’s just not the same, man.
“OK, Sony Pony”
The second you start pulling out terms like “Xbot” and “Sony Pony,” you know that you’ve gone too deep into the flame wars, friend. Save yourself while you still can.
“Exclusives don’t matter”
In theory, yeah, exclusives suck. But the truth is that unlike say, an Xbox Series X, exclusives are 90% of the reason why I bought this damn thing!
“What ever happened to the PSVR2?”
What do you mean? It sold great! I promise!
Bloodborne at 60 FPS would be pretty sweet, huh?
:smiling face with tear emoji:
“My PS4 works fine, I don’t see the point in upgrading”
I’m sure your jet engine is doing just fine trying to run the latest and greatest. Seriously, though, while older consoles are perfectly functional at the moment, we’re getting to the point where new games are leaving the last generation behind. And more importantly, many PS5 owners basically had to go to war to get their console in the first place. Remember the big shortage and all the scalping stuff?
“The Last of Us Isn’t the ‘the greatest story that has ever been told in video games’”
How dare you imply that TLOU TV creative Craig Mazin may wrong about our premiere post-apocalyptic zombie story where a dad learns the meaning of love. You’re now banned from setting eyes on Pedro Pascal forever.
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