And now a list of things in Helldivers 2 that have annoyed me, in no particular order.
My Helldiver can’t swim (but that’s not the real problem)
I’ll list my big Helldivers 2 problem first.
As you may have already discovered, your Helldiver cannot swim. Their weighty armour causes them to flounder and sink into anything deeper than an ankle-deep puddle. This is ordinarily not a problem — just don’t go in the water. However, on more than one occasion, I have been thrown into a pond by a nearby explosion or an errant Charger. Drowning in the puddle drops all my weapons and, most importantly, the precious samples I’ve collected. This is where the annoyance creeps in: because those samples are in the middle of a body of water, they are lost for good. Being unable to swim, the other Helldivers in my group can’t recover them. You can wade in and grab them, sure, but you’ll die before you can get them out again. That means daisy chaining Helldivers, hoping the samples drop closer to shore, wasting limited reinforcement calls.
Maybe the sink time is longer if you’re wearing lighter armour? I haven’t tried it yet. Regardless, please just spawn the samples on the shore, thank you.
I feel like I’m not collecting samples at a fast enough rate
Either bolt-on upgrades for my starship need to be cheaper, or missions need to drop more samples, I don’t care which. There are so many upgrades, three different kinds of samples, and its taking forever to unlock anything.
The invisible fkn hunters
There’s nothing mechanically wrong with these guys, I just hate them.
Various physics bugs
You haven’t lived until the Hellbomb you called down leaves you lodged in a wall, watching the timer tick down to your own obliteration. Similarly, you don’t know confusion until a batch of puffballs explodes underfoot and sends your Helldiver, and their precious supply backpack, clear across the map and out of bounds.
Server drops creating dupe havoc
I don’t know if you’ve run into this one, but we certainly did: my internet lagged out the other night, kicking me from our game. The price of this drop was that the Gatling turret I’d just dropped bizarrely replicated itself five times in the same place. Chaos ensued for the three remaining members of my squad as they danced around incoming enemies and a wall of Gatling fire.
Throwables responding differently to the same surfaces
If I have to watch another one of my grenades or stratagem beacons bounce off a rock like it’s hit a bouncy castle, I’m going to lose it. I’m sure the one zergling my 500KG bomb managed to blow up was very surprised, though.
Where’s the earth shattering kaboom?
On a related note, my 500KG bomb seems to flip a coin on destroying anything in the moment. Gettin’ real sick of calling one down, being treated to a huge fireworks display and then watching the smoke clear to reveal a perfectly intact enemy base/nest.
My Helldiver feels like they always need to reload something
A high rate of fire is good for squishing bugs, but it sure does seem to leave my pockets empty a lot of the time. Could I theoretically just calm down a little? Yes, but also my Helldiver is constantly under siege from a hostile universe. Thus, my preference is to have their every democratic orifice stuffed with spare ammo.
Civilian evacuees with absolutely zero sense of self-preservation
I would love it if, just one time, the civilians we’ve been sent to rescue would perhaps run away from the terrifying robot killzone rather than toward it. Similarly, if approached by a charging chainsaw robot, I would like to see our fleeing civvies turn and run rather than embrace the slavering buzzsaw bot like an old friend.
There needs to be a longer window on enemies sending up the reinforcement beacon
Every now and then, I would like to engage a bot or bug patrol without it escalating instantly into full-scale war because I wasn’t able to kill the one scrub unit that called for help approximately 0.0000234 seconds after the first bullet arrived.
Arrowhead Game Studios, thank you for the gift of Helldivers 2. I love your dumb, fun, very funny little game a lot. Thanks for making it.
Image: Disney, PlayStation, Kotaku Australia
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