Kotaku Gift Guide: Secret Santa

Secret Santas can be a bitch. You can’t spend that much so whatever you buy is typically tat, a pair of rubbish socks, deodorant, a bar of bloody soap. That’s usually as good as it gets. Now, thanks to our gift guide, that’s all about to change.

Here are a couple of suggestions for decent-ish presents that are cheap, disposable, but will delight most gamers.

SUGGESTION #1
Navi Classic Thong: RRP $15.50

Wow. Why did it take so long for me to realise this existed. A Navi thong. I think this is quite possibly the only way to reverse engineer my irrational hatred of Navi – by putting her on a thong. This is awesome.

SUGGESTION #2
Cacodemon Doom Charm: RRP $6.00US

Look at this. It’s adorable! He’s a little demon hellspawn with terrifying teeth and he can attach to your keys/handbag! You can’t lose with this. Just make sure the recipient has played doom, or you’ll be getting some strange looks.

SUGGESTION #3
Mario Slippers: RRP $14.95

Mario slippers. You can’t go wrong with Mario slippers. They have Mario on them – everyone loves Mario. Except my wife, who for some reason hates him. ‘Why is he dressed up like a bee’, she says? ‘He’s a middle-aged man with a moustache and he’s dressed up in a bee outfit.’ If your Secret Santa is my wife, then avoid this purchase. Otherwise? You should be good.

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