Win! One Of Five Copies Of Far Cry 3

We've already run a couple of competitions this week, but we're not done yet! Today we're giving away five copies of Far Cry 3, the game many folks have described as the best release of the year. Today I think we're going to keep the competition simple...

How about an old fashioned limerick contest about one of the game's major villains Vaas? You all know how limericks go. I'll give you an example.

There once was a man named Vaas Who walked over some broken glass His feet got all slippy And things got quite trippy He slipped over and fell on his ass.

Alright, that was pretty terrible, I think you can do better so go for it! The only rule is — you have to start with the words 'There once was a man named Vaas'. Asides from that all bets are off!

Go nuts!

Terms and Conditions can be found here.


Comments

    There once was a man named Vaas
    Who from what I've heard is all class.
    This jocular nutter
    Sets hearts all a flutter
    But that flutter is fear, to the last.

    There once was a man named Vaas
    I have no idea who he was
    I need to win the game
    To know more than his name
    So please give me the game you...err wait, I mean...So my limerick's not a big farce.

      Dammit. The "I have no idea who he is" angle was the one I was going to take :P

      It's a problem - those of us who don't actually have the game won't know what to write about!

        Haha! I had the same idea! :S

        [Redacted]

        I just remembered I hate limericks!

        Last edited 20/12/12 3:34 pm

          More than knock, knock jokes?

            Nah, @dc hates dad jokes in haiku

              There's a thin line between love and hate.

              Where's the dad joke limericks! :D @shane

                http://www.kotaku.com.au/2012/12/win-one-of-five-copies-of-far-cry-3/comment-page-3/#comment-948116
                You're welcome. It doesn't make much sense, but it's loaded with punny goodness.

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    Who shoved little kittens in jars.
    This was cause for alarm,
    People did him some harm.
    Now his head is all covered in scars.

    There once was a man named Vaas
    If i'd played this game I might pass
    But I hadn't the cash
    Due to chronic jock rash
    So I'm broke down to the skin of my arse.

    Last edited 20/12/12 3:55 pm

      You sir, have won the internet for the day. Have fun with it.

      fix the ass to arse and i think we have a winner

    There once was a man named Vaas
    Whose game was shiny like glass
    It's called Far Cry number three
    which I need on my Sony
    it'd melt my comp into a plasticky mass!

    I'd rate it as near-top-of-class,
    Delicious in cone, bowl, or glass,
    Full of great flavour,
    Each mouthful I savour,
    Wait...didn't you say Norgen-Vaaz?

      The only rule is — you have to start with the words ‘There once was a man named Vaas’. Asides from that all bets are off!

      Just trying to help! :D

        There once was a man named Vaas,
        On "rules", I'd figure he'd pass,
        Following on from that theme,
        I want to talk 'bout icecream.
        More important than any Cry Fars.

    There once was a man name Vaas
    Whose fashion was first in the class.
    The rest is all hazy,
    But I'm damn sure he's crazy
    Yay! I did it without saying "arse"!

    Last edited 20/12/12 8:17 pm

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    His craziness you could not surpass,
    His speech was quite rude,
    Then hijinx ensued,
    And I popped a cap in his arse.

    There once was a man named Vaas
    who gave nothing more then a laff
    he was built like a dozer
    but no more then a poser
    why is he so Crass?

    No really. I haven't played the game yet.

    There once was a fella called Vaas
    Whilst on a beach he was shot in the arse
    He let out a sigh
    Which was far from a cry
    after all, regenerative health is a blast.

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    Who wanted to kick Jason’s ass.
    Despite three tries
    He ultimately dies
    In a game no other can surpass

    There once was a man named Vaas
    He's completely insane
    But never to blame
    Life is full of pain
    Pain's his middle name

    I unno, always sucked at limericks

    Last edited 20/12/12 3:33 pm

      Agreed. First prize!

        Agreed it sucks?

          Agreed that you suck at limericks. The rhyming structure is meant to be 1,2 and 5 matching, and 3 and 4 matching. I have no idea what scheme you've come up with here, but it ain't a limerick :)

            I can write poetry, it just ain't structured :)

            So fuck it,I already own this game on PC :D

    There once was an island quite vast
    Whose waters were clear as cut glass
    But beneath the veneer
    Was an island of fear
    Ruled by a psycho names Vaas

      just noticed i started with the wrong line. second try.

      There once was a man named Vaas
      who carried emotional scars
      beneath the veneer
      a brain riddled with fear
      an island with psychos at large

    There once was a man named Vaas
    And his balls were like iron or brass
    Or maybe they weren't?
    Perhaps I should've learned
    About this character before writing half-assed!

    There once was a man named Vaas
    I already have the game so I'll pass
    Serrels posted a limerick and said, "now you!"
    But personally I prefer to do Haikus
    So now we're at an impasse

    There's this guy named Vaas
    Who is a real crazy ass
    A fan of bluegrass

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Vaas.
    Vaas who?
    Vaas me who knocked! Auf Wiedersehen!

    Greenius got bored
    Wrote a bunch of utter crap
    Somewhat less bored now

    Last edited 20/12/12 3:37 pm

    There once was a man named Vaas
    Who pulled a limerick out of his ass
    If he'd taken his time
    He could have made it ryhme
    Instead he just ends it, I'm a rock

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    Who you better learn not to sass,
    A man so insane,
    They cut out his brain,
    And then he did cut out theirs.

    Last edited 20/12/12 3:38 pm

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    Who had to find Corben Dallas,
    But he couldn't because, the ship where he was,
    Required a damn Multi-Pass.

    Don't ask me why it's a 5th Element/FarCry 3 cross over, but it was the first thing to come into my head.

    There once was a man named Vaas,
    He had shot my brother in the ass,
    He was insane,
    I gave him a plane ticket to hell.

    Today i learnt that there are some people in the world that reaaallllly suck at limericks.

    There once was a man named Vaas
    A scholar, the top of his class
    But one day he scoffed
    Said fuck you miss, I'm off
    And now keeps his head up his arse

    I should warn you all, I am a published limerick writer from grade 5 :P

    There once was a man named Vaas
    Who eviscerates with good form and class
    He's completely insane
    There's no ground you can gain
    Just close your eyes and think fast

    @batguy

      I liked the Spaggerick rhyming notation better

        Thanks man

        I am horrible at ryhmes

    There once was a man named Vaas.
    He was the leader of a small group of pirates operating out of a small tropical island base where they attacked any ship that passed.
    Unfortunately for him and his group the last ship they attacked had a survivor who was pretty much a savant for surviving and fighting.
    As more and more pirates were killed, the islands seemed much less secure and inviting.
    Vaas would realise too late despite multiple attempts to stop the survivor that he was way out of his class.

    People say I'm too verbose sometimes.

    There once was a man named Vaas
    Shenanigans came to pass
    His life on an island
    My wife be not smilin'
    When I ask for the cash to purchaase
    (Far Cry 3 on PC, just give me the game already, pleez?)

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