WIN! Bayonetta’s Xbox 360 Climax Edition

WIN! Bayonetta’s Xbox 360 Climax Edition

Sega and Devil May Cry creator Hideki Kamiya’s hair-raising new action game is officially released in Australia this Thursday. How would you like to win the aptly-named Climax Edition?

Thanks to Sega we have five Bayonetta Climax Editions on Xbox 360 to give away this week. We’ll be giving away one per day between now and Friday.

Inside the Aussie exclusive limited edition you’ll find:

* A copy of Bayonetta on Xbox 360 in premium slipcase packaging * A replica Scarborough Fair, Bayonetta’s beloved pistol which she has strapped to her hands and feet * A 36-page hardcover art book * A CD of the game’s soundtrack

Scroll down for a pic of everything inside the Bayonetta Climax Edition.

So how do you win?

Given Bayonetta’s rather raunchy nature, we figured it was time to get you all writing limericks again. After all, the best limericks are always just a little bit naughty.

Your limerick must begin with some variation on the line: “There once was a girl called Bayonetta…” And it must follow standard AABBA limerick rhyming form.

Leave your limericks in the comments below. You must enter by midnight to be eligible for the day’s draw and winners will be announced at 10am the following day when the new draw opens.

You may only enter once per day. If multiple entries are received, only the first one will count. If you wish to enter the next day’s draw, you must enter a new limerick.

Good luck!

WIN! Bayonetta’s Xbox 360 Climax Edition

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Comments

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who would buy you a drink if you let-a,
    After 5 or 6 rounds,
    You could rub on her mound,
    And oh how the night would get better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    She killed angels without no regretta,
    Her hair used for clothes,
    And also to defeat foes,
    When she attacks, in my pants I feel better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who decided to go on a vendetta.
    Much violence ensued,
    She fights in the nude
    Though her hair can act like a sweater.

  • A witch named Bayonetta
    Had a dog; an irish setter
    Dog had a large tongue
    Also it was quite hung
    She thought “screw men, this is better!”

    Shameless and probably too dirty, but it made me chuckle.

  • The once was a girl named Bayonetta
    Who would only drink cafe ristretta
    The caffeine made her go fast
    So she could kick arse
    A secret weapon that helped her fight better!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who ate far too much feta,
    So when she push came to shove,
    And she had to save those she loves,
    Her skin tight clothes would no longer fit her.

    Note: pronounce fit her Fit-Ha it’s not like lymrics have always been the best examples of proper pronounciation and grammer.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    Who looks like shes from an erotica
    Who can pistol whip you in the face
    At such a high speed pace
    It was only just a flicker.

    lol..

  • There once was a girl called bayonetta
    and didn’t know what to make of feta
    With the waft of cheese in her nose
    A swift kick caused broken toes
    Poor girl didn’t know how to make it better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    She’d kick angel ass for days if you’d let her
    But you’d best stay away
    Since it’s as they all say…

    Her weird hair destroys those that have met her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta..
    Her Creator was Hideki Kamiya..
    She has big huge boobs..
    killing angelic noobs..
    Transforming hair into demons, she’ll getcha!..

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Librarian glasses, high heels and tight leather
    Now players insist,
    Though none yet exist,
    That one handed controls would be better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    I gave her a lovely sweater
    She wore it all day
    until I would say
    let’s cover those breasts with fetta.

  • There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
    Guns and cleavage? she thought she knew better,
    With her last “Witch time” and a frown,
    She packed her bags to settle down,
    With a pipe and a large irish setter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    All this fighting made her wetter
    She ripped off her clothes
    Naked, head to toes
    Her long hair made the sex better!

  • There once was a woman called Bayonetta
    She’d look no good wearing a mantelletta
    Slaying enemies with her magical hair
    Angels laying on the ground in despair
    None will ever understand her vendetta

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Whose breasts would attract any fella
    In the climax edition
    she’ll put me into submission
    And I tell you I’ll never forget her

  • There once was a girl called bayonetta
    she killed all things with a banga
    she used many guns
    and had lots of funs
    she was called the angel of deatha

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    That could do anything that the demon world would let her,
    The game has hentai dregs,
    But with spaghetti legs,
    Lets hope the tentacles will never get her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    With a figure to game boy passions unfetter
    But when that figure slips from beneath its costume of hair
    It seems game and controller were designed as unfair
    An extra-special edition with “third hand included” is required to enjoy her better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Her tits were exquisite, there were none better
    She was disproportionately top heavy, high five!
    But all men she would deprive
    For no others could make the girls wetter

    Ahah, this competition has descended into debauchery in record time! There are some pretty funny entries though.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Mistress of lethal hair to all who met her
    Numerous foes find their demise
    Facing her bespectacled eyes
    Rapunzal’s coiffure could fare no better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    She always did the right thing to the letter
    Until one fateful day
    When she played GTA
    And now thinks killing guys is better.

    Not raunchy…but I thought it was kinda fitting on here!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who was played with on difficulty, Auto Beginner
    All night and all day
    Up and down, pressing ‘A’
    It was the most pleasing experience, ever

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who couldn’t get me any wetter.
    I’d love to play,
    This game on my Trey,
    But the 360 version is better.

  • There was once a girl named Bayonetta
    Whose aim was to reach the kill and combo quota
    whether she was naked
    or reveal all that was sacred
    She was throned the new Sparta

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    oh how she loved Gunsliger’s Henrietta,
    If the ratings board knew,
    The game would get banned too,
    Only to fuel the gamer’s vendetta.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    With only long black hair to cover her nether
    Not since Lara Croft
    Have pixels made men hard not soft
    Leaving them with three sticks to pull together

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    A minx so gifted at Twista*
    So hard to resist
    Losing to her a tryst
    With four limbs and guns, you’d betta* let her!

    * Twister, better – poetic license!

  • Bayonetta, the warrior that once was
    She’ll hit foes father than the waugh’s
    But when the time comes nigh
    “Please not in the eye”
    If you do you better run, leave your drawers.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who decided to use her “Advance Hair Yeah Yeah” regen techinque for the better.

    Replacing heels with pink guns on her stillettoes,
    and performing crazy tantric karma sutra styles to shoot down her foes,

    Mum would be so proud for her daughter with a small head was a trend setter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Luka’s jaw dropped when he first met her,
    He thought of her bare,
    and how he’d tug her hair,
    Only a threesome with Jeanne would be better.

  • There was once a girl called Bayonetta,
    Her breast size is a double letter
    She’ll take you to your limits
    Literally in a matter minutes
    When all is said and done, I doubt you’ll find any better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who caught her fish in a net-a.
    One day she took a deep sniff,
    and caught quite a bad whiff,
    And thought she needed to practice Hygiene better!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    To rule the world, she thought, “What’s better?”,
    A disguise she did don,
    Though not the right one,
    As the public elected Obama…

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Whose body was the best they could get her
    They crafted with care
    Every blade of her hair
    So then why not scale her head better?

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Gyrating her hips, blaming it on fever,
    To this I was intrigued,
    Till it was revealed dead angels is what she needs.
    Which gave a heart attack to my catholic Mother

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who, lets say, is a bit of an ‘experimenter’.
    She’s busty and lusty and very blood-thirsty,
    Went hard and fast, got down and dirty,
    And now she’s in her third trimester

  • There once was a broker for Beretta
    who was making a sale to Bayonetta.
    He tried hard not to stare,
    She whipped him with her hair,
    From then on he could not forget her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Whose parents obviously smoked marijuana
    For with a name so unique
    It was sure to pique
    Her anger to a killing diva.

  • I once new a girl called Bayonetta
    Who could kill you in instant if you let her
    She has hair from head to toe
    Like a 70s porno
    A wax here and there would be better

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    You’d never forget if you’d met ‘er;
    Her clothes were her hair,
    Her feet were Scarboro’ fair,
    And the rest of her only got better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who had 2 big f**k off Beretta,
    But they fail to compare,
    With her mad flippen hair,
    And those two gigantic mammilla

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Whose design could of been better
    Even without her clothes
    Her goods were not fully exposed
    If only I could see her nether

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who made all the boys wetta
    With guns in her shoes
    and cartwheels too
    It really doesn’t get much betta

  • There once was a designer called Bayonetta
    Whose hair-themed attire deemed her a trendsetter
    Those overpriced fashion houses could never compare
    To the scandalous style of her au-natural wear
    In the absence of ratings without that ‘R’ letter

  • There once was a girl named Bayonetta
    Who made all gamer’s pants wetter
    With her cute little quips
    And deadly pistol whips
    My wife saw and punched my Beretta 🙁

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Both arms and legs with Scarbough Fair strap-ta
    She’s a witch who can slow down time
    Her accuraccy enable her to shot a falling dime
    Mess with her and bang bang see you later

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who’d pleasure men if they would let her,
    Hair fetishes aside,
    When you wanted a ride,
    None other then her could do better!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who like eat papaya,
    Once on the game show,
    She found a real love,
    Her boyfriend is a SEGA programmer.

  • There Once was a girl – Bayonetta
    Her game was as cheesy as fetta
    But it sold really well
    To guys horny as hell
    I hope they clean up when they wet-her

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    All the boys would write her love letters
    She avoided barber chairs
    She never trimmed downstairs
    So you’d want her to shave before you met her

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who tormented angels from here to Valetta
    They tend to drop their instruments
    When into them she thrusts her implements
    She now uses them in her own sinfonietta

  • I once loved a witch named Bayonetta,
    Midnight at the cemetry’s where I met’er,
    I was certain we’d kiss,
    She was certain I’d miss,
    Now I’m staring down the barrel of her Beretta.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    She fought like a savage beast unleashed in the east
    A gun touting psycho witch priest
    Fighting with blades carved out of steel
    Moving faster then a armored man eating eel
    Dressed in blood stained clothes made of of hair
    Killing here their everywhere ass bare

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    who gave out demos over internetta
    She killed shit, got nude,
    but all that was rude
    was covered in symbiote leather… 🙁

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta who had incredible hair
    She used it to destroy enemies left and right with grace and amazing flair
    When gamers saw this new hero
    they all forgot about Nero
    in the hopes of seeing Bayonetta’s underwear

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    in a japanese demo I met her
    but I’m still cocked n loaded
    cos the 360’s coded
    and the ps3 port’s inferietta

    • Nice dig at the different versions. Did you used to live in Mt Eliza? I knew a Simon Olliver from there who was at FCCC.

          • Yeah of course 🙂 Didn’t think I knew any other Mark at Flinders. But didn’t wanna upset him if I did! heh. I’ll add you on Live. Although I don’t go on often and especially, you know,lately…Pixelpants, eh? 😉

  • Bayonetta is a girl in a game
    that only has some clothes on and does magic
    she kicks all the monsters
    square in the face with her awesome cool combos and then some magic after that that really blow them all up really awesome
    this game is so sweet

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who had a brief run-in with her debtor.
    With a flash of her breasts,
    The debtor cardiac arrests
    Her bank balance has never looked better!!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who wisely ignored the cliche of leather
    Special attacks make her nude
    Which many deem rude
    But 14 year olds’ couldn’t find better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who deities attached a vendetta,
    In a classy English way,
    She made all the angels pay,
    Until the day became of Red Letter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    Who had a talent for sealing many a letter.

    She’d wiggle her hips,
    Then moisten her lips.

    Bending mail to her will, as edges got wetter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who was dry to all men who had met her,
    But a Wet tshirt competition,
    Had men on a mission,
    To get Bayonetta much wetter!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    And she wore her hair looking like leather
    With a twist and a pose
    From her form it arose
    And the angle had never been better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Whom I wrote a fetished love letta.
    A mere glimpse of her bare,
    ‘fore she killed me with hair,
    Ensured my letta I’ll neva regretta.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    who had lots of demons trying to kill her.
    so she pulled out her gun,
    killed them all for fun,
    and now she feels a lot better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Whose snug hair fit her body to the letter,
    Through a special attack
    She shows off her rack
    But it’s a game in itself just to make her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who cocked her biretta when she met cha’
    With a cold grin on her face
    As she laid back on her chaise
    She shot off a blank that scared ya’

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    there is no way to to describe her
    is she a librarian or a witch?
    or maybe a dominatrix?
    or maybe something even better?

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who wore heels with handguns and black leather.
    But it gave me a scare,
    When I agreed to a dare,
    When I tried to take of her black sweater.

    Very fitting, considering the new years I had.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    She sliced a male
    Until Judgement Day
    Where today
    The Male turned into a gale storm

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    But people thought Devil May Cry was better,
    She took issue with this,
    Gave Dante a kiss,
    And now he, like us, can’t forget her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Against whom Heaven had quite a vendetta.
    She cast an almighty spell,
    Sending her clothes to hell,
    But they continued to poke at her.

  • There once was a lass Bayonetta
    Worked as a hooker in a VW Jetta
    She was generally nailin
    In the guise of Ms Palin
    And only Tina Fey could have done better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    she is naked on a cool vendetta
    pulls out Scarborough Fair
    covers up with her hair
    but staring at her a$$ makes it better

    did i win yet?

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    who’s death dealing couldn’t be better
    with no real surprise
    between leather clad thighs
    it’s your blood that making her wetter

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who slept with other guys even though they wouldn’t let her,
    When she woke up they were dead,
    They were always with-out a head,
    Now she does women, which are better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    Girls and games, to decide it was an easy matter
    However, one day at 8:30
    I saw a chick on ABC
    It was then that I decided i like guys so much betta.

  • We got tha girl nam bayonetta
    she lie ani-mal style betta
    two dolla! she so fine
    so cheap me lub her long time
    In tha bed we do crouching tiger

  • Bayonetta the witch was her name
    From the depths of hell she came
    She pierced us all
    With her body and soul
    All gladly submitted to her game.

  • There once was a girl name Bayonetta
    She’d curl your toes if you let her
    But you’d better be fast
    Or else you’ll be last
    quick! the lines gettin’ longer than Tigers.

  • I knew a girl once called Bayonetta
    I’ve had good lays but she could be better
    She read all the books
    Even sacrificed chooks
    She was such a dud lay I wish I had never met her

  • There once was a witch with long hair,
    who woke from a sleep unaware,
    She looked like Tina Fey,
    Just with more T and A,
    And deadly when completely bare.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    She created blood fountains from all who met her,
    This she did without hesitation,
    Like the player who reached for his lotion,
    Because it’s always more fun when it’s wetter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Disgusted and shocked you’ll never forgetta,
    Poorly proportioned and groomed badly,
    Something you may find in the uncanny valley,
    Yet still so many find her to be quite the tempter.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Against her game, there seemed none better
    The climax edition had features galore
    which also made me think of what its like to score
    And with tits like that you could never forget her

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    with whom i’d like to siesta
    Alas she was not real
    and that made me feel
    that a blow up doll, would instead treat me better

  • her names bayonetta, my bayonetta
    love art thou juicy setta
    tug them now
    oh sexy cow
    need some milk for homemade fetta

  • Bayonetta, she was a witch ninja
    Whose hair-suit (just) covered her minja
    Til she squealed ‘n twirled round all mean
    Spinning, she revealed her vagine,
    Bet you thought I’d hold back there, now didn’cha?

  • The once was a girl, Bayonetta,
    For killin’ ‘n shootin’, none better,
    Wore a catsuit of her own hair so shiny,
    Librarian-sexy, but head tiny!
    Now she asks for Darksiders to come get ‘er!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Torturing and punishing those who challenge her,
    When Angels descend,
    Not expecting an end,
    She’ll smile and say, “The more, the better.”

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    who was never caught dead in a sweata’.
    She hooked all the boys
    who were still playin’ with toys
    and not with real girls who are betta’.

  • There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
    Whose hair is a real trend setta…
    No matter which way it flows
    It will cut down here foes,
    Staring at her from a distance is much betta!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    During her wonderful wedding came confetta’,
    They met at a bar,
    She married Hideki Kamiya,
    Later she realised, she married her creator.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    When she killed her pants got wetter,
    She hunted the guys,
    Crushing their skulls between her thighs,
    Singing now my beaver feels better!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who looked a lot like Eddie Vedda,
    Some thought she was a fox,
    Ignoring her hairy green (X)-box,
    Instead declaring her a trendsetter!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    Who loved to consume lots of fetta,
    She ate it by the load,
    Feeling the need to explode,
    Yet binging because everyone let her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    Who let handsome guys pet her,
    Touching her from the tip of her nose,
    Right down to her toes,
    Until she got wetter and wetter!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
    And all the bad men wanted to get her,
    To hurt her, to kill her to cause her great pain,
    Going great lengths, driving her insane
    Her wrath making them rue that they’d met her.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    She wanted to fight evil in leather,
    Sega made her with hair that covered her there,
    Now everyone feels better.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    Who loved her crumbly fetta
    Because its all anyone would get her
    Yet remind her it did of a boy she once did
    And what he left behind stinky and a bit rancid.
    Yet under pants tight and glasses does shimmer
    The soul of a girl who is a major sinner.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    She not one who looks like a mother
    But making babies she would love to practice
    Until the sheets were thrown from the mattress
    Or until the reviewer agrees to rate the game higher.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Whose raunchy nature made blokes ever so wetter
    Stroking the Scarborough Fair makes her “Climax”
    Sexy “Hair” has enemies flat on their backs
    If she wants to grab your “Weapon” then “Let Her”

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    who loved to smoke the cigaretta
    she put it to her lips
    shook her sexy hips as the guys stayed transfixed
    and used that pistol of hers to shoot them while they let her!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    Who every mans wish was to bed-her,
    But the closest they’ll come
    Is a joystick and their thumbs
    With the promise,on Xbox360 you can always reset-her

  • There was once a girl called Bayonetta
    With lots of baddies out to get her
    she stabs as many as she can
    she’s as good as any other man
    and with a name like that who’d forget her?!

  • Bayonetta; once a girl was named,
    With long hair which couldn’t be tamed,
    Dressed in all leather,
    A look of come-hither,
    ‘I LOVE YOU!’ I excitedly proclaimed.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    With hazel eyes, like autumn weather
    Don’t be fooled, by her sexy heel
    The pistol attached will make you squeal
    And her arse looks sublime in tight leather

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    heaven felt she was much a contesa.
    Her body is sharp,
    those breasts are not scarps!
    Just don’t touch her cherry Cerezetta

    Note: I am unsure if that is how to spell Cereza the way Luka pronounced it in the game.

  • there once was a girl called bayonetta
    and a boy wanted to know her better
    so she went to see the boy
    then played him like a toy
    he seemed very keen
    but bayonetta looked mean
    and he wanted some fun
    so she pulled out her gun
    and that was the end of the boy

  • The once was a girl call ‘Bayonetta’,
    who held a deadly Vendetta,
    rapped by a man with one leg,
    they called him ‘The Peg’,
    she shot at the old Operetta!

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
    don’t mess with her I bet ya.
    She takes her pink gun,
    shows you her way of having fun!
    She is hot and in the same time cool,
    with or without her dangerous tool.

  • There once was a girl called Bayonetta
    I died happily after I met her
    Her legs so smooth, her boobs just as lush
    It was the end of me when we touched
    O what she would do if mum would let her

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