Sega and Devil May Cry creator Hideki Kamiya’s hair-raising new action game is officially released in Australia this Thursday. How would you like to win the aptly-named Climax Edition?
Thanks to Sega we have five Bayonetta Climax Editions on Xbox 360 to give away this week. We’ll be giving away one per day between now and Friday.
Inside the Aussie exclusive limited edition you’ll find:
* A copy of Bayonetta on Xbox 360 in premium slipcase packaging * A replica Scarborough Fair, Bayonetta’s beloved pistol which she has strapped to her hands and feet * A 36-page hardcover art book * A CD of the game’s soundtrack
Scroll down for a pic of everything inside the Bayonetta Climax Edition.
So how do you win?
Given Bayonetta’s rather raunchy nature, we figured it was time to get you all writing limericks again. After all, the best limericks are always just a little bit naughty.
Your limerick must begin with some variation on the line: “There once was a girl called Bayonetta…” And it must follow standard AABBA limerick rhyming form.
Leave your limericks in the comments below. You must enter by midnight to be eligible for the day’s draw and winners will be announced at 10am the following day when the new draw opens.
You may only enter once per day. If multiple entries are received, only the first one will count. If you wish to enter the next day’s draw, you must enter a new limerick.
Good luck!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who would buy you a drink if you let-a,
After 5 or 6 rounds,
You could rub on her mound,
And oh how the night would get better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
She killed angels without no regretta,
Her hair used for clothes,
And also to defeat foes,
When she attacks, in my pants I feel better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who decided to go on a vendetta.
Much violence ensued,
She fights in the nude
Though her hair can act like a sweater.
A witch named Bayonetta
Had a dog; an irish setter
Dog had a large tongue
Also it was quite hung
She thought “screw men, this is better!”
Shameless and probably too dirty, but it made me chuckle.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
that had a disappearing sweater
Her gunshoes are lame
and the game is too tame
Time to go find some raunch that is better.
The once was a girl named Bayonetta
Who would only drink cafe ristretta
The caffeine made her go fast
So she could kick arse
A secret weapon that helped her fight better!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who ate far too much feta,
So when she push came to shove,
And she had to save those she loves,
Her skin tight clothes would no longer fit her.
Note: pronounce fit her Fit-Ha it’s not like lymrics have always been the best examples of proper pronounciation and grammer.
Yeah I think everyone expects a lymeric to have a slightly wonky pronunciation or spelling of some words. Seems perfectly passable.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
Who looks like shes from an erotica
Who can pistol whip you in the face
At such a high speed pace
It was only just a flicker.
lol..
There once was a girl called bayonetta
and didn’t know what to make of feta
With the waft of cheese in her nose
A swift kick caused broken toes
Poor girl didn’t know how to make it better
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
She’d kick angel ass for days if you’d let her
But you’d best stay away
Since it’s as they all say…
Her weird hair destroys those that have met her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta..
Her Creator was Hideki Kamiya..
She has big huge boobs..
killing angelic noobs..
Transforming hair into demons, she’ll getcha!..
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Librarian glasses, high heels and tight leather
Now players insist,
Though none yet exist,
That one handed controls would be better
Hehehe… like it.
Subtle. This sounds like a winner.
I think we have a winner.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
I gave her a lovely sweater
She wore it all day
until I would say
let’s cover those breasts with fetta.
There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
Guns and cleavage? she thought she knew better,
With her last “Witch time” and a frown,
She packed her bags to settle down,
With a pipe and a large irish setter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
All this fighting made her wetter
She ripped off her clothes
Naked, head to toes
Her long hair made the sex better!
Bayonetta had good shape
Many would stare mouth agape
But because of her hair
Men didn’t dare
Fearing carpet matching drapes
There once was a woman called Bayonetta
She’d look no good wearing a mantelletta
Slaying enemies with her magical hair
Angels laying on the ground in despair
None will ever understand her vendetta
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Whose breasts would attract any fella
In the climax edition
she’ll put me into submission
And I tell you I’ll never forget her
There once was a girl called bayonetta
she killed all things with a banga
she used many guns
and had lots of funs
she was called the angel of deatha
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
That could do anything that the demon world would let her,
The game has hentai dregs,
But with spaghetti legs,
Lets hope the tentacles will never get her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
With a figure to game boy passions unfetter
But when that figure slips from beneath its costume of hair
It seems game and controller were designed as unfair
An extra-special edition with “third hand included” is required to enjoy her better
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Her tits were exquisite, there were none better
She was disproportionately top heavy, high five!
But all men she would deprive
For no others could make the girls wetter
Ahah, this competition has descended into debauchery in record time! There are some pretty funny entries though.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Mistress of lethal hair to all who met her
Numerous foes find their demise
Facing her bespectacled eyes
Rapunzal’s coiffure could fare no better
Winner right here… well constructed, but wheres the raunch? 🙂
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
A pure-breed aggressive go-getter
Impossible hair
But otherwise bare
That bulge in my jeans is no Beretta
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
She always did the right thing to the letter
Until one fateful day
When she played GTA
And now thinks killing guys is better.
Not raunchy…but I thought it was kinda fitting on here!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who was played with on difficulty, Auto Beginner
All night and all day
Up and down, pressing ‘A’
It was the most pleasing experience, ever
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who couldn’t get me any wetter.
I’d love to play,
This game on my Trey,
But the 360 version is better.
There was once a girl named Bayonetta
Whose aim was to reach the kill and combo quota
whether she was naked
or reveal all that was sacred
She was throned the new Sparta
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
oh how she loved Gunsliger’s Henrietta,
If the ratings board knew,
The game would get banned too,
Only to fuel the gamer’s vendetta.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
With only long black hair to cover her nether
Not since Lara Croft
Have pixels made men hard not soft
Leaving them with three sticks to pull together
Hahahha, gross.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
A minx so gifted at Twista*
So hard to resist
Losing to her a tryst
With four limbs and guns, you’d betta* let her!
* Twister, better – poetic license!
Bayonetta, the warrior that once was
She’ll hit foes father than the waugh’s
But when the time comes nigh
“Please not in the eye”
If you do you better run, leave your drawers.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who decided to use her “Advance Hair Yeah Yeah” regen techinque for the better.
Replacing heels with pink guns on her stillettoes,
and performing crazy tantric karma sutra styles to shoot down her foes,
Mum would be so proud for her daughter with a small head was a trend setter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Luka’s jaw dropped when he first met her,
He thought of her bare,
and how he’d tug her hair,
Only a threesome with Jeanne would be better.
There was once a girl called Bayonetta,
Her breast size is a double letter
She’ll take you to your limits
Literally in a matter minutes
When all is said and done, I doubt you’ll find any better
A girl called Bayonetta there was once,
in bed with me she moans and grunts,
wrapped up in her hair,
all naked and bare,
before she went and killed an evil dunce!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who caught her fish in a net-a.
One day she took a deep sniff,
and caught quite a bad whiff,
And thought she needed to practice Hygiene better!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
To rule the world, she thought, “What’s better?”,
A disguise she did don,
Though not the right one,
As the public elected Obama…
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Whose body was the best they could get her
They crafted with care
Every blade of her hair
So then why not scale her head better?
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Gyrating her hips, blaming it on fever,
To this I was intrigued,
Till it was revealed dead angels is what she needs.
Which gave a heart attack to my catholic Mother
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who, lets say, is a bit of an ‘experimenter’.
She’s busty and lusty and very blood-thirsty,
Went hard and fast, got down and dirty,
And now she’s in her third trimester
There once was a broker for Beretta
who was making a sale to Bayonetta.
He tried hard not to stare,
She whipped him with her hair,
From then on he could not forget her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
The angels who scorn her regret her,
When she does her dance,
I tighten hard in my pants,
Now i can no longer sing fullsetta.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Whose parents obviously smoked marijuana
For with a name so unique
It was sure to pique
Her anger to a killing diva.
I once new a girl called Bayonetta
Who could kill you in instant if you let her
She has hair from head to toe
Like a 70s porno
A wax here and there would be better
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
You’d never forget if you’d met ‘er;
Her clothes were her hair,
Her feet were Scarboro’ fair,
And the rest of her only got better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who had 2 big f**k off Beretta,
But they fail to compare,
With her mad flippen hair,
And those two gigantic mammilla
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Whose design could of been better
Even without her clothes
Her goods were not fully exposed
If only I could see her nether
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who made all the boys wetta
With guns in her shoes
and cartwheels too
It really doesn’t get much betta
There once was a designer called Bayonetta
Whose hair-themed attire deemed her a trendsetter
Those overpriced fashion houses could never compare
To the scandalous style of her au-natural wear
In the absence of ratings without that ‘R’ letter
There once was a girl named Bayonetta
Who made all gamer’s pants wetter
With her cute little quips
And deadly pistol whips
My wife saw and punched my Beretta 🙁
I was also thinking of rhyming with “my pants, they get wetter” but it wasn’t quite… the right message, if you know what I mean.
Could go both ways, but then again its hard to think of something original when there are 100 previous limericks :/
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Both arms and legs with Scarbough Fair strap-ta
She’s a witch who can slow down time
Her accuraccy enable her to shot a falling dime
Mess with her and bang bang see you later
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who’d pleasure men if they would let her,
Hair fetishes aside,
When you wanted a ride,
None other then her could do better!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who like eat papaya,
Once on the game show,
She found a real love,
Her boyfriend is a SEGA programmer.
Your lymeric should definatly win Peter.
This limerick is win.
There Once was a girl – Bayonetta
Her game was as cheesy as fetta
But it sold really well
To guys horny as hell
I hope they clean up when they wet-her
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
All the boys would write her love letters
She avoided barber chairs
She never trimmed downstairs
So you’d want her to shave before you met her
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who tormented angels from here to Valetta
They tend to drop their instruments
When into them she thrusts her implements
She now uses them in her own sinfonietta
I once loved a witch named Bayonetta,
Midnight at the cemetry’s where I met’er,
I was certain we’d kiss,
She was certain I’d miss,
Now I’m staring down the barrel of her Beretta.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
She fought like a savage beast unleashed in the east
A gun touting psycho witch priest
Fighting with blades carved out of steel
Moving faster then a armored man eating eel
Dressed in blood stained clothes made of of hair
Killing here their everywhere ass bare
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
who gave out demos over internetta
She killed shit, got nude,
but all that was rude
was covered in symbiote leather… 🙁
There once was a girl called Bayonetta who had incredible hair
She used it to destroy enemies left and right with grace and amazing flair
When gamers saw this new hero
they all forgot about Nero
in the hopes of seeing Bayonetta’s underwear
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
in a japanese demo I met her
but I’m still cocked n loaded
cos the 360’s coded
and the ps3 port’s inferietta
Nice dig at the different versions. Did you used to live in Mt Eliza? I knew a Simon Olliver from there who was at FCCC.
Hey, it was Mt Martha not Mt Eliza, but yeah I was at FCCC. What’s your surname? 🙂
Mr P. Nice to know you’re still kicking around the game scene. Gamertag is PixelPants.
Yeah of course 🙂 Didn’t think I knew any other Mark at Flinders. But didn’t wanna upset him if I did! heh. I’ll add you on Live. Although I don’t go on often and especially, you know,lately…Pixelpants, eh? 😉
Bayonetta is a girl in a game
that only has some clothes on and does magic
she kicks all the monsters
square in the face with her awesome cool combos and then some magic after that that really blow them all up really awesome
this game is so sweet
Cool story bro!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who had a brief run-in with her debtor.
With a flash of her breasts,
The debtor cardiac arrests
Her bank balance has never looked better!!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who wisely ignored the cliche of leather
Special attacks make her nude
Which many deem rude
But 14 year olds’ couldn’t find better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who deities attached a vendetta,
In a classy English way,
She made all the angels pay,
Until the day became of Red Letter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
Who had a talent for sealing many a letter.
She’d wiggle her hips,
Then moisten her lips.
Bending mail to her will, as edges got wetter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who was dry to all men who had met her,
But a Wet tshirt competition,
Had men on a mission,
To get Bayonetta much wetter!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
And she wore her hair looking like leather
With a twist and a pose
From her form it arose
And the angle had never been better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
she has a weapon you’ll find no better
you see shes covered in hair
look close for her derrier
Round front its welcome back Kotter
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Whom I wrote a fetished love letta.
A mere glimpse of her bare,
‘fore she killed me with hair,
Ensured my letta I’ll neva regretta.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
who had lots of demons trying to kill her.
so she pulled out her gun,
killed them all for fun,
and now she feels a lot better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Whose snug hair fit her body to the letter,
Through a special attack
She shows off her rack
But it’s a game in itself just to make her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who cocked her biretta when she met cha’
With a cold grin on her face
As she laid back on her chaise
She shot off a blank that scared ya’
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
there is no way to to describe her
is she a librarian or a witch?
or maybe a dominatrix?
or maybe something even better?
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who wore heels with handguns and black leather.
But it gave me a scare,
When I agreed to a dare,
When I tried to take of her black sweater.
Very fitting, considering the new years I had.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
She sliced a male
Until Judgement Day
Where today
The Male turned into a gale storm
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
But people thought Devil May Cry was better,
She took issue with this,
Gave Dante a kiss,
And now he, like us, can’t forget her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Against whom Heaven had quite a vendetta.
She cast an almighty spell,
Sending her clothes to hell,
But they continued to poke at her.
There once was a lass Bayonetta
Worked as a hooker in a VW Jetta
She was generally nailin
In the guise of Ms Palin
And only Tina Fey could have done better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
she is naked on a cool vendetta
pulls out Scarborough Fair
covers up with her hair
but staring at her a$$ makes it better
did i win yet?
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
who’s death dealing couldn’t be better
with no real surprise
between leather clad thighs
it’s your blood that making her wetter
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who slept with other guys even though they wouldn’t let her,
When she woke up they were dead,
They were always with-out a head,
Now she does women, which are better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
Girls and games, to decide it was an easy matter
However, one day at 8:30
I saw a chick on ABC
It was then that I decided i like guys so much betta.
We got tha girl nam bayonetta
she lie ani-mal style betta
two dolla! she so fine
so cheap me lub her long time
In tha bed we do crouching tiger
hahahha thats funny as.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who was not known as much of a fretter
With death on demand
Performed by one hand
Her mind was more on shampoo than vendetta
Bayonetta the witch was her name
From the depths of hell she came
She pierced us all
With her body and soul
All gladly submitted to her game.
There once was a girl name Bayonetta
She’d curl your toes if you let her
But you’d better be fast
Or else you’ll be last
quick! the lines gettin’ longer than Tigers.
I knew a girl once called Bayonetta
I’ve had good lays but she could be better
She read all the books
Even sacrificed chooks
She was such a dud lay I wish I had never met her
There once was a witch with long hair,
who woke from a sleep unaware,
She looked like Tina Fey,
Just with more T and A,
And deadly when completely bare.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
She created blood fountains from all who met her,
This she did without hesitation,
Like the player who reached for his lotion,
Because it’s always more fun when it’s wetter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Disgusted and shocked you’ll never forgetta,
Poorly proportioned and groomed badly,
Something you may find in the uncanny valley,
Yet still so many find her to be quite the tempter.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Against her game, there seemed none better
The climax edition had features galore
which also made me think of what its like to score
And with tits like that you could never forget her
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
with whom i’d like to siesta
Alas she was not real
and that made me feel
that a blow up doll, would instead treat me better
her names bayonetta, my bayonetta
love art thou juicy setta
tug them now
oh sexy cow
need some milk for homemade fetta
Bayonetta, she was a witch ninja
Whose hair-suit (just) covered her minja
Til she squealed ‘n twirled round all mean
Spinning, she revealed her vagine,
Bet you thought I’d hold back there, now didn’cha?
The once was a girl, Bayonetta,
For killin’ ‘n shootin’, none better,
Wore a catsuit of her own hair so shiny,
Librarian-sexy, but head tiny!
Now she asks for Darksiders to come get ‘er!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Torturing and punishing those who challenge her,
When Angels descend,
Not expecting an end,
She’ll smile and say, “The more, the better.”
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
who was never caught dead in a sweata’.
She hooked all the boys
who were still playin’ with toys
and not with real girls who are betta’.
There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
Whose hair is a real trend setta…
No matter which way it flows
It will cut down here foes,
Staring at her from a distance is much betta!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
During her wonderful wedding came confetta’,
They met at a bar,
She married Hideki Kamiya,
Later she realised, she married her creator.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
When she killed her pants got wetter,
She hunted the guys,
Crushing their skulls between her thighs,
Singing now my beaver feels better!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who looked a lot like Eddie Vedda,
Some thought she was a fox,
Ignoring her hairy green (X)-box,
Instead declaring her a trendsetter!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
Who loved to consume lots of fetta,
She ate it by the load,
Feeling the need to explode,
Yet binging because everyone let her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
Who let handsome guys pet her,
Touching her from the tip of her nose,
Right down to her toes,
Until she got wetter and wetter!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta…
And all the bad men wanted to get her,
To hurt her, to kill her to cause her great pain,
Going great lengths, driving her insane
Her wrath making them rue that they’d met her.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
She wanted to fight evil in leather,
Sega made her with hair that covered her there,
Now everyone feels better.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who loved her crumbly fetta
Because its all anyone would get her
Yet remind her it did of a boy she once did
And what he left behind stinky and a bit rancid.
Yet under pants tight and glasses does shimmer
The soul of a girl who is a major sinner.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
She not one who looks like a mother
But making babies she would love to practice
Until the sheets were thrown from the mattress
Or until the reviewer agrees to rate the game higher.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who decided to go on a vendetta.
so Much violence
She fights in the nude
and she has really great boobs
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Whose raunchy nature made blokes ever so wetter
Stroking the Scarborough Fair makes her “Climax”
Sexy “Hair” has enemies flat on their backs
If she wants to grab your “Weapon” then “Let Her”
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
who loved to smoke the cigaretta
she put it to her lips
shook her sexy hips as the guys stayed transfixed
and used that pistol of hers to shoot them while they let her!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who every mans wish was to bed-her,
But the closest they’ll come
Is a joystick and their thumbs
With the promise,on Xbox360 you can always reset-her
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who was rather obsessed with feta,
It gave her the runs,
Spoiled all her fun,
And made her farts so much wetta.
There was once a girl called Bayonetta
With lots of baddies out to get her
she stabs as many as she can
she’s as good as any other man
and with a name like that who’d forget her?!
Bayonetta; once a girl was named,
With long hair which couldn’t be tamed,
Dressed in all leather,
A look of come-hither,
‘I LOVE YOU!’ I excitedly proclaimed.
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
With hazel eyes, like autumn weather
Don’t be fooled, by her sexy heel
The pistol attached will make you squeal
And her arse looks sublime in tight leather
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
heaven felt she was much a contesa.
Her body is sharp,
those breasts are not scarps!
Just don’t touch her cherry Cerezetta
Note: I am unsure if that is how to spell Cereza the way Luka pronounced it in the game.
there once was a girl called bayonetta
and a boy wanted to know her better
so she went to see the boy
then played him like a toy
he seemed very keen
but bayonetta looked mean
and he wanted some fun
so she pulled out her gun
and that was the end of the boy
The once was a girl call ‘Bayonetta’,
who held a deadly Vendetta,
rapped by a man with one leg,
they called him ‘The Peg’,
she shot at the old Operetta!
There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
don’t mess with her I bet ya.
She takes her pink gun,
shows you her way of having fun!
She is hot and in the same time cool,
with or without her dangerous tool.
There was once a girl called Bayonetta
Who harboured a great vendetta
She slayed demons and beasts
What a blood feast
Which only makes guys wetter
There once was a girl called Bayonetta
I died happily after I met her
Her legs so smooth, her boobs just as lush
It was the end of me when we touched
O what she would do if mum would let her