WIN! Bayonetta’s Xbox 360 Climax Edition

14 years ago

January 8, 2010 at 10:00 am

You’ve only got one more chance left to win the limited Climax edition of Sega and Devil May Cry creator Hideki Kamiya’s hair-raising new action game. Find out how to enter and who won Thursday’s draw after the jump.

UPDATE: This competition is now closed.

Thanks to Sega we have five Bayonetta Climax Editions on Xbox 360 to give away this week. We’ll be giving away one per day until Friday. And since Friday is today, this is the last one!

Inside the Aussie exclusive limited edition you’ll find:

* A copy of Bayonetta on Xbox 360 in premium slipcase packaging
* A replica Scarborough Fair, Bayonetta’s beloved pistol which she has strapped to her hands and feet
* A 36-page hardcover art book
* A CD of the game’s soundtrack

Scroll down for a pic of everything inside the Bayonetta Climax Edition.

So how do you win?

Given Bayonetta’s rather raunchy nature, we figured it was time to get you all writing limericks again. After all, the best limericks are always just a little bit naughty.

Your limerick must begin with some variation on the line: “There once was a girl called Bayonetta…” And it must follow standard AABBA limerick rhyming form.

Leave your limericks in the comments below. You must enter by midnight to be eligible for today’s draw and the final winner will be announced tomorrow.

You may only enter once per day. If multiple entries are received, only the first one will count.

Good luck!

And Thursday’s winner is… Mr Explody!

Here’s Mr Explody’s winning limerick:

There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
Who’s legs just went on forever,
She looks like she’d spank me,
Slap and disgrace me,
If she were real I would totally let her

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Comments

87 responses to “WIN! Bayonetta’s Xbox 360 Climax Edition”

READ THE COMMENTS

Jeremy Hore

January 8, 2010 at 10:02 am

A hero was born, Bayonetta
Whose story begins, a vendetta
A game to behold
A tale to Unfold
And vengence on those who’d forget her.

Reply
Jeremy Hore

January 8, 2010 at 10:04 am

And for those who missed it, or didnt realise, here’s the complete story, made up of all five of this weeks entries.

There once was a Bayonetta
Worked as a hooker in a VW Jetta
She was generally nailin
In the guise of Ms Palin
And only Tina Fey could have done better.

There once was a gal Bayonetta
Who finally paid off her debtor
she gave up her ways
of taking money for lays
And became a temp writting letters

There once was a Miss Bayonetta
Who dreamed her life could be better
A witch, she became
And sought power and fame
And inspired awe in any who met her

There once was a witch Bayonetta
Who’s enemies were out to get her
To sleep, she was set
A spell to make her forget
And she woke with a pair of Baretta

A hero was born, Bayonetta
Whose story begins, a vendetta
A game to behold
A tale to Unfold
And vengence on those who’d forget her.

While each individual entry probably isnt good enough to win, I hope you enjoyed the narrative.

Reply
1. Jay
  
  January 8, 2010 at 1:41 pm
  
  I know this isn’t an entry cause i’m really not good at these…
  PLUS i haven’t been following this competition til now…
  
  But did you win on the Palin one? That one is great! Well done.
  +1 to you and i would choose that to win if i were Dave.
  
  Reply
  1. Jeremy Hore
    
    January 8, 2010 at 2:51 pm
    
    No such luck. But I’m not surprised, there are so many high quality entries in this competition.
    
    Reply
Crono

January 8, 2010 at 10:15 am

There once was a girl named Bayonetta
She went to the shops to buy a cornetta,
the Australian summer so hot,
her ice cream did not
survive the blistering weather

Reply
Kieron

January 8, 2010 at 10:16 am

There once was a witch, Bayonetta her name
Her demonic hair was her claim to fame
Though rarely they spoke
Unless ’twas a joke
Of her ridiculously oversized… frame

Reply
James

January 8, 2010 at 10:16 am

Bayonetta: a woman so grand,
That the gamers felt need to demand,
For Deep Silver to agree
To develop it for Wii
So they all could ‘waggle’ with both hands.

Reply
Rob Hay

January 8, 2010 at 10:27 am

There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
Whos competition was harder to win than defeating Hitler,
But just like the Yanks,
Ill keep grinding the cranks,
And hopefully get that game winning letter.

Reply
Art Pitchford

January 8, 2010 at 10:32 am

There once was a witch called Bayonetta
Who we would write to with many love letters
Clothed in hair
She would make us stare
That witch we call Bayonetta

Reply
Matt C

January 8, 2010 at 10:40 am

There once was a tramp named bayonetta,
Who had hair like a black English Setter
She blew up a farce,
And wiggled her arse,
Letting all kinds of gamers inspect-her! 😉

<3 limmericks

Reply
Paul Drummond

January 8, 2010 at 10:56 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
who preforms stunts that leaves all in wonder
so don’t be startled by her naked derriere
as your biten by her dragon formed hair
it feels good to nude up when you preform torture

Reply
Cameron Brown

January 8, 2010 at 10:56 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
She liked to suck off the debt collector
She pulled out a tit
and whipped off her kit
Now he likes her a little better

Reply
1. Rob Hay
  
  January 8, 2010 at 11:06 am
  
  XD
  
  Reply
2. Joshua Iacobozzi
  
  January 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm
  
  Hahaha, genius.
  
  Reply
3. Phillip Fry
  
  January 8, 2010 at 7:24 pm
  
  *Like Button*
  
  Reply
asimovy

January 8, 2010 at 11:00 am

There once was a girl called bayonetta
I swore I’d never forget’er
But when I realised she was bare
Except for her hair
I wish I had never met’er

Reply
Jeremy

January 8, 2010 at 11:29 am

The wickedly witch Bayonetta
Is mad and she’s comin’ to get ya
But give her a rum
And a slap on the bum
And if lucky you’ll climax together

Reply
Daniel Churcher

January 8, 2010 at 11:31 am

So it’s my last chance to win Bayonetta
the heroine clad in Hair-leather.
A butt that won’t quit
i’ll buy it, who gives a spit
EB? No, EBAY is much better.

Reply
BennyJ

January 8, 2010 at 11:31 am

Bayonetta; once a girl was named,
With long hair which couldn’t be tamed,
Dressed in all leather,
A look of come-hither,
‘I LOVE YOU!’ I excitedly proclaimed.

Reply
chocolate

January 8, 2010 at 11:31 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Controlling her movements she’ll let ya,
Do whatever you please,
With pink pistol to the head ease,
You’ll find animated is even better!

Reply
Mr Explody

January 8, 2010 at 11:35 am

Wow, Thanks very much David!

Reply
Susie

January 8, 2010 at 11:36 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
With hazel eyes, like autumn weather
Don’t be fooled, by her sexy heel
The pistol attached will make you squeal
And her arse looks sublime in tight leather

Reply
ShiggyNinty

January 8, 2010 at 11:40 am

Bayonetta is my kind of witch,
always seeming to scratch that itch,
I helped her one day
and I heard her say
“Now you can be my bitch!”

Reply
DG

January 8, 2010 at 11:45 am

There once was a girl, Bayonetta
A finer looking girl? Never met’er
As I play I will dream
Until my wife she does scream
And in the meantime just aim to play better!

Reply
Matthew Kermeen

January 8, 2010 at 11:46 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
She was vain and so easy to flatter
But then she must’ve heard
Actions speak louder than words
Now describing her requires a French letter

Reply
Steven Rutledge

January 8, 2010 at 11:50 am

There once was a girl named Bayonetta
who did battle with foes in the altogether
people said: ‘girl have some shame’
so she opened their veins
and she entered the fray -hair covered nethers

Reply
Stone

January 8, 2010 at 11:50 am

Bayonetta that sexy witch magician.
The past five days at ten, began the tradition
First read others for insight.
Then brainstorm my own delight.
Will tomorrow be the day I win the last edition?

Reply
Stewart Walker

January 8, 2010 at 11:55 am

There once was a women called Bayonetta
Who liked all manner of guns and tight fitting leather
With a quick flick her hair
She catches angels unaware
And we all get to see her without underware

Reply
Frank Iatrou

January 8, 2010 at 11:58 am

a girl who was named Bayonetta
her name you best not forgetter
she has guns in hand
and on them she stands
she’ll kick in your head and pull the trigger

Reply
Old_Skool_Gamer

January 8, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Well as for that girl Bayonetta
I wrote some limericks about her
I gave it my best
Now surely you jest
that some other f***er will get her

Reply
James

January 8, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Bayonetta is one sexy witch, i must say.
Each time she moves, my mini-me wants to play.
The bigger her attack,
The faster i jack,
Oh Crap! i’m out of tissues for today.

Reply
Trent Gore

January 8, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Bayonetta, what makes her so slick?
Other games you have given the flick,
Of course she won’t show,
But you still want to know?
Secret’s the side of this limerick.

Also well done to Mr Explody!

Reply
Paul P

January 8, 2010 at 12:14 pm

Bayonnetta came to Sony’s machine,
And was faced with a problem she had not foreseen.
For an Xbox she’d opt,
As her progress was stopped,
By the damned PS3 loading screen.

Reply
Jonathan B

January 8, 2010 at 12:16 pm

There’s a girl named Bayonetta, believe it or not, who was very girly
Though all that has changed, she is now quite surly
We once dated before her change
Though sex got her acting strange
Perhaps it was because I ejaculated prematurely

Reply
Robert

January 8, 2010 at 12:31 pm

There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
No finer a ‘Mole’ could you gett’a.
She’s aggro, she’s catty…
A pash would drive you wacky 😉
A Fair dinkum, little Ripper, you betcha!

I’m an Irish/Aussie so hopefully I have used this slang in context, ha!

Reply
Bounnong

January 8, 2010 at 12:46 pm

There once was a lady named Bayonetta
who could not fathom the word bodhicitta
The nature that was kind
she was not able find
As killing only makes her get wetter

Reply
Kane K

January 8, 2010 at 12:55 pm

“What was mummy like”? As I consoled the bed wetter.
Again, my son was still not for the better.
How do I explain the brief fiery romance we shared?
Sacrificing her life so that I may be spared
“For there once was a girl called Bayonetta…”

Reply
1. MyGoodChum
  
  January 8, 2010 at 1:08 pm
  
  There once was a MILF Bayonetta
  She was much hotter than Stripperella
  She has great T’n’A
  Her Beaver is Shaved
  You press X A B A to undress her
  
  Reply
Harry Gibbs

January 8, 2010 at 1:02 pm

There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
who was a cheap substitute for viagra
and to appreciate her climax
you will need to go to i-max
its no surprise people fap when they see her

Reply
Vladimir Svoboda

January 8, 2010 at 1:07 pm

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Sarah Palin’s twin sister from Nebraska
She ran for President
Was elected to parliament
And somehow made Republicans seem better

Reply
Mac

January 8, 2010 at 1:26 pm

For Bayonetta, such love I do harbour!
She with naught but a hairstyle to garb her.
With all her fine dresses
Made of overgrown tresses,
Wouldn’t you just love to be her barber?

Reply
Bill Eadan

January 8, 2010 at 1:42 pm

There once was a girl named Bayonetta
Into Bondage & discipline if you’ll let her
Leather & lace are her pants
For an insane fighters dance
Bayonetta i’ll write you a love letter

Reply
Andrew Low

January 8, 2010 at 1:47 pm

There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
Who delayed my prestiging this summer,
I wouldn’t play normally,
I was just a bit horny,
Now it’s back to ranking up in Favella

Reply
Dean Henderson

January 8, 2010 at 1:48 pm

The competition entries could get no better.
With use of words like setter, wetter and vendetta
But try as I might
The google searches ruined my plight
I could just find no new good words to rhyme with Bayonetta

Reply
1. Cameron Wynn
  
  January 8, 2010 at 3:45 pm
  
  http://www.rhymer.com/
  
  type in “wetter”
  
  Reply
Joshy206

January 8, 2010 at 1:49 pm

There once was a girl, Bayonetta,
Who brought whoopass to all who perved on her.
But a single crotch kick,
From a very hot witch,
Is well worth being a voyeur.

Reply
Ryan Stalgis

January 8, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Bayonetta, hair down to her feet
Made men wonder ’bout doing the deed
Til some fella did ask it:
Pray tell, witch, the carpet
Does it match with the drapes, so to speak?

Reply
Michael O’Shaughnessy

January 8, 2010 at 1:58 pm

There once was a lass bayonetta,
hard to find breasts that were better.
oh bayonetta my dear,
allow me sweet whisper in your ear,
I guarantee you’ll never have been wetter!

Reply
Tim

January 8, 2010 at 1:59 pm

I had a dream last night ’bout Bayonetta
And her crazy bondage hair-leather
The wife’s leaving, unimpressed
But I have to confess
For the Umbran Witch, I might just let her.

Reply
Cat

January 8, 2010 at 2:08 pm

There once was a girl named Bayonetta
With a comp to write and get her
If I won
I’d use the gun
And roleplay in a tight black sweater

Reply
markgreyam

January 8, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Bayonetta’s hair is her clothes as she traipse.
Used to attack all her foes; no escapes.
So slide into the grooves,
Cause when you’re pulling those moves,
You’ll see if the carpet, it matches the drapes.

(traipse; to walk or tramp about. Seemed to fit well, and besides, you know how few words rhyme with drapes?)

Reply
Angela

January 8, 2010 at 3:18 pm

There once was this game Bayonetta,
The demo came out in December,
It’s good, just a shame,
It’s not my type of game,
If I don’t win, it’ll just be a renta

Reply
Cameron Wynn

January 8, 2010 at 3:27 pm

There is this goddess, Bayonetta
And quite so, do I long to pet her
How would she react,
If I lunged at her rack?
I hope I wont need a stretcher…

Reply
Mr Explody

January 8, 2010 at 3:28 pm

I know I’ve already won, BUUUUTTTT:

Bayonetta is a saucy young strumpet,
Consider to be a good bit of crumpet,
If I were so bold,
Her hand I would hold,
Then maybe she’d blow on my trumpet.

Reply
Doug Smith

January 8, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Bayonetta was a witch with flair
Her best “asset” was her hair
She puts me in a trance
When her hair becomes pants
Just wishing that I could get in there

Reply
Kaye

January 8, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Am having technical issues submitting – hope this one gets through! Apologies if there is a double post

There once was a girl, Bayonetta
Whose boobs my boyfriend liked better.
If I win the contest
Then I think it best
To not let him play with her.

Reply
1. David Wildgoose
  
  January 8, 2010 at 4:35 pm
  
  Sorry, Kaye, your comments were getting caught in the spam filter.
  
  Reply
  1. Cat
    
    January 8, 2010 at 5:07 pm
    
    I’ve been having trouble posting using Firefox and when logged in with Facebook (hence just posting under guest) – is there something I can fiddle around with in my internet settings to make it better? Or is this a question for tech support?
    
    Reply
    1. Trent Gore
      
      January 8, 2010 at 5:34 pm
      
      Has it worked on firefox before cat? You could try resetting the browser settings if it has.
      
      Reply
Tim Harrison

January 8, 2010 at 4:26 pm

I inserted the disc labled “Bayonetta”
And the opening had her in a nuns kitta
But she had too much sin
so it got whipped off her skin
Now she’s gotta birthday suit for a swetter

Reply
Aron Webb

January 8, 2010 at 4:48 pm

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
who Famitsu said couldn’t be better
but their praises before
went to MGS four
which doesn’t belong at the alter

Reply
Corey

January 8, 2010 at 4:57 pm

We’re head over heels for Bayonetta
A position I’m sure we’d all let her
With a gun at my face
And her hand on that place
My pants better not get any wetter

Reply
Paul

January 8, 2010 at 5:00 pm

I don’t have a 360, but I do have a friend who might like this, so what the hey;

There once was a woman called Bayonetta,
Who wore high-heels, glasses and tight black leather.
“The longer you play,
the harder it gets”, you’ll say.
And that’s why the one-handed automatic mode is better.

Reply
Luke Davis

January 8, 2010 at 6:35 pm

There one was a girl named Bayonetta,
who looked rather fetching in leather,
if the Devil May Cry,
well he’s just not a guy,
so perhaps a young girl could do better.

Reply
Palstran

January 8, 2010 at 7:03 pm

I once knew a girl,Bayonetta,
created by quite a trendsetter.
Hideki’s his name
you should check out his game,
but Viewtiful Joe might be better

Reply
Roy Fraley

January 8, 2010 at 7:06 pm

a girl who was named Bayonetta
who had some sexy glasses
but then there were her jugs
they were like mugs
but hopefully one day i will get to do her.

Reply
Tone2b

January 8, 2010 at 7:16 pm

There once was a girl called bayonetta
I am jumping through hoops to net her
Four days in a row
This is a new low
I am sure to climax if I get her

Reply
mr tibbs

January 8, 2010 at 7:53 pm

there once was a girl called Bayonetta
who i would bed if i ever met her
but in passions embrace
she might shoot a bad place
i might be singing falsetto forever

Reply
Al

January 8, 2010 at 8:05 pm

There once was a sexy witch named Bayonetta
Titular and Titillating star of an epic from Kamiya
Hot hair, eyes, body and guns but never a whore
Leaves the clothed Gean, Joe, Dante and Amaterasu done for
Simply put she’s way hotta.

Reply
syv

January 8, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Outnumbered, overwhelmed Bayonetta
With, wounds worse than had ever beset her
Please! Do not fret
Lollipop GET!
With a wink and a suck she’s all better

Reply
Johnny Two-Pants

January 8, 2010 at 9:28 pm

There once was a girl called Bayonetta
Who wouldn’t tap your butt if you let ‘er
She might whoop your ass
Or kick you through glass
Or shoot you with guns on her stilett’a’s

Reply
Nworb

January 8, 2010 at 9:37 pm

So there once was this girl called Bayonetta, yeah.
And anyway, she had this cool special magical hair.
With like guns on her feet,
She’s sick mate, fully sweet!
And dude, when she fights she’s like totally bare!

Reply
Rodomont

January 8, 2010 at 10:10 pm

Bayonetta:
Cavaletta;
Guns…
Funs!
Vendetta‽

Reply
Kieron

January 8, 2010 at 10:22 pm

There once was a girl, Bayonetta her name
Her demonic hair was her claim to fame
But more people spoke
Well, mainly the blokes
Of her freakishly oversized… frame

Reply
Chuloopa

January 8, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Bayonetta, that cruddy lil bitch
ripped me arms off and left me in a ditch
though i guess i had it comin’
for not askin for her lovin
and instead going in for the pinch

i have such a great time with these limericks – though i never have much luck with them lol.
Last chance guys!!! good luck all!

Reply
Mark

January 8, 2010 at 10:50 pm

There once was a girl Bayonetta
The ultimate fantasy game character
If money could measure
What she generates in pleasure
Fanboys’d be rich, instead of delivering pizza

Reply
Cat Chen

January 8, 2010 at 11:22 pm

There was a girl named Bayonetta
Of all women there were no better
Guys wanted her boobs
But they weren’t for n00bs
So best you ten year olds forget her

Reply
Pierce Morton

January 8, 2010 at 11:32 pm

There once was a beauty called Bayonetta
But a mate claimed the man Rodin looked better
“See his big beefy chest!”
“But her thighs, butt and breasts!”
I still say he just doesn’t get her

Reply
1. Pierce Morton
  
  January 8, 2010 at 11:33 pm
  
  Whoops, typo – that was supposed to be:
  
  There once was a beauty called Bayonetta
  But a mate claimed the man Rodin looked better
  “See his big beefy chest!”
  “But her thighs, butt and breasts!”
  I still say that he just doesn’t get her
  
  Reply
Karachi King

January 9, 2010 at 12:19 am

There once was a girl called Bayonetta,
All the world was out to get her,
They started a feud,
Just to get her nude,
And they all died feeling much better.

Reply
Ben Robinson

January 9, 2010 at 12:47 am

There once was an old bloke named Mike,
Banned violent games day and night.
He played Bayonetta,
And ceased his vendetta;
She was his guilty delight!

Honestly, how did this sneak past Atkinson and his drones?

Reply
1. Ben Robinson
  
  January 9, 2010 at 12:51 am
  
  Oh drat, I worked late tonight, and it’s still before midnight in WA…
  
  Am I still eligible, since no timezone was specified? 🙁
  
  Reply
Hyo17

January 9, 2010 at 12:52 am

There was once a girl named Bayonetta,
Who loved to mix her business along with pleasure,
She’s sexy while stylish and smooth like wax
Working with her we’d reach an infinite climax,
Her style is so hot there is no cold weather.

Reply
Hyo17

January 9, 2010 at 1:22 am

I just checked and it’s still before midnight here, in PA. I didn’t see any timezone specific details, so am I still in the clear? It’s still friday here and the post says I made the reply on saturday.

Reply
1. David Wildgoose
  
  January 9, 2010 at 2:05 am
  
  This competition is open to Australian residents only.
  
  Reply
  1. Ben Robinson
    
    January 9, 2010 at 2:42 am
    
    David,
    
    Am I still eligible for the drawing because I posted before midnight in WA?
    
    Cheers.
    
    Reply
princewill

January 9, 2010 at 3:51 am

There once was a girl called bayoneta she fights like a girl who fights for pleseaure she could do anything to fit once pleasure she’ like the thrill of beting like fether

Reply

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