Talk Amongst Yourselves

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    So how about that Captain America: Civil War trailer, huh. Looks pretty freakin' amazing, can't wait.

    One minor annoyance though.
    In the part of the trailer where it looks like he's trying to go incognito, it looks like he's wearing the exact same clothes as when he did it in Winter Soldier. Does he only have one set of clothes or something.

      Haven't watched it, don't think I'm gonna watch it.

      It's gonna be hard avoiding watching the Star Wars trailer soon, once they start ramping up on TV.

        Saw my first TFA trailer last night, took my daughter to see the last hunger games movie and there was a SW trailer at the start. It made me tear-up. Damnit!
        I was trying to not get on the hype train, but that damn trailer punched me right in the feels, and once the music kicked in, I was 10 years old again, in a galaxy far, far away...

          I'm on board the hype train, just calmly sitting in my seat reading the paper instead of hanging out the window screaming :P Decided I didn't need or want to see anything more after the initial teaser trailer.

      Disaster just strikes when he's in the gym, OK?

      Also, I can imagine cap not having a bunch of clothes, dude probably would prefer uniform.

      This man out of time is generally well known for boring fashion choice, perhaps an Einstein style wardrobe?

      Also, I am pumped!

      My wardrobe is literally a handful of suits and related corporate-drag paraphernalia, a couple gym t-shirts, and two dozen identical black, button-up shirts, black singlets, and half a dozen pairs of blue jeans.

      Plus a few garbage bags worth of shit I don't wear but haven't got around to donating to St Vinnies.

      Because life is too short to bother with fashion.

        I'm expecting a downvote fron liondrive any minute...

          Would have done it sooner, but I was too busy reporting the comment.

            ur just salty cos its truth

            ...AND I make it look good. ;)

            Last edited 26/11/15 1:24 pm

    Writing an article for work, and I asked a colleague if she could spell check it for me.

    She said c-h-e-c-k i-t f-o-r- m-e #dadjokepagesix #hi@strange

    Dammit brain, why do you still get stupidly excited by steam sales

      I got temporarily excited and then reminded myself that I literally don't even have a PC to play the games on.

        Want one of my old ones? I have a bunch sitting on the shelf.

          That's a very generous offer. I need to just set aside the money to do the upgrade I've been meaning to do for a while now.
          My PC has devolved into pretty much only a gaming machine these days (I don't even enter the room unless games) so the shiny new parts are an inevitability anyway.

          Thank you though :)

      I always get excited by PSN sales, see the line-up, realise I already own or am not interested & get bored

      I was all like 'oooh, Steam sale!'
      But then I found I own pretty much all the games on sale that I want anyway.

        I'm a bit of a steam tragic with eclectic tastes so I have a wishlist of around 150 items so there is always something I want

    It's hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac. They always take things literally.

    Hi @crazyguy1990! #Page6

    Last edited 26/11/15 10:39 am

    @lucifer9783 and I are having difficulties with splat zones in ranked. Any pointers? Also, sloshers and Luna blasters are the bane of my existance

      Man, outside of Splatfest it's been ages since I've played. Can I even remember how it goes? :P

      I dunno if I could offer any tips, since I only play as a sniper so don't really have much perspective on how the other weapons play. Generally I'm trying to find the spot where I can most effectively defend our space from and take out the other team as they try and make their way in, and eventually try and advance so I can hold them even further back. But then it also depends on which map you're playing, and how many zones there are to defend, where the best positions to do so are, etc.

      I guess one pretty generic tip is to make good use of the timer penalties. If you have the choice of getting killed or turning the zone, absolutely go for the zone, because if you flip it even for a moment you can buy yourself more time. Far too often the enemy timer would be approaching zero and someone would manage to get their counter stopped, but then nobody came in to try and throw a tiny bit more paint on there to flip it and we'd lose the match because they'd take it back.

      Oh, another thing - just because it isn't turf war doesn't mean you shouldn't be painting the ground! Eg in warehouse, as everyone makes their way towards the middle I make sure to turn and paint all the ground I'm walking past, then stop before I reach the container and paint all the ground behind it before jumping over. Both so I can charge my special meter, but also for fortification. If you charge ahead and don't have any painted ground behind you, then you're not going to have anywhere to retreat to if you start to get overwhelmed and need an escape. So always make sure to tidy up whenever you can, fill in those empty spots and clear out that enemy ink.

      Actually, that leads into another thing. If the rest of your team is taking good care of the zone, then it can be a good idea to head into the enemy base and just start throwing paint around to disrupt their path to the zone, slowing their travel.

    In today's instalment of "Kermitron gives his belated opinions on shit" I recently started watching That 70s Show on Netflix after completely missing it when it was a "thing" when I was in high school. Man, maybe it's because it was designed for my age group in the first place but despite being 17 years late to the party, I reckon it holds up pretty well. I finished watching season 1 this week and I'm hooked.

    I don't know why I didn't watch this show when I was younger. I mean, it was an incredibly popular show. I guess I missed a lot of shows, mainly because instead of watching TV I was faffing about on the internet and we didn't have convenient means to watch shows at our convenience.

      The show gets increasingly terrible as it continues. Devolves into a barrage of racial slurs, pot jokes and "Lol, women be crazy".

        I figured that it had to get a lot worse for people to have stopped talking about it by the time I could have started watching it at my convenience.

        Season 1 had a lot of good stories and character development. I guess I'll bail when it goes to crap, but for now it's a fun diversion.

    Dad: "Go to your room now"
    Son: (Storms off) "Jim Morrison was overrated"
    Dad: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors"

      I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. I should have chosen Aloha setting.

      I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. There is no cure.

      My son thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

      My Navman told me "In 150 metres, Bear left". So I looked out the window, but didn't see any Bears?

        Muppet Movie

        "Bear left!"
        "Right, frog!"

        Still makes me giggle 35 years on...

      Two hats are sitting on a bench having a chat. One says to the other you stay here.... I'll go on ahead.

      What's white and can't climb trees?

      A fridge.

      Last year I opened a stationary shop, but it's going nowhere.

      They don't watch the flintstones in Dubai.
      But Abu Dhabi do.

      My son asked me if i knew any good hard rock music that had some pace.

      Gave him Rolling Stones.

      There's nothing worse than getting run over by a rental car. It Hertz.

        I tried negotiating the price of my rental car, but I couldn't get them to budget.

          You have to be a bit more thrifty in negotiating.

            I'm terrible at negotiation.


            Last edited 26/11/15 12:14 pm

      Whenever I want to start eating healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

      Why are there pirates? Because they just arrrr.

    So, random question time.
    I normally have work enforced holidays for the 2 weeks of Christmas and new year's.
    I have stuff all annual leave left after this year's one. I have been given the option to work Monday - Wednesday the first week.

    Do I work and effectively only have one week holiday or take the uninterrupted 16 days off?

      Work it, save leave.

      That's what I'm doing.

      In my field at least, the office around this time is proper dead. May as well enjoy the air-con and save my days off until I need them.

        My office has forced shutdown/skeleton crew only for the period between Christmas and New Years. I used to always volunteer because it was so quiet it was basically a holiday and I didn't have to waste my leave. But the last few years I've become more indifferent about this so I let others volunteer instead. If I'm needed, I'll work. If I'm not, I'll take the leave.

        Granted I only have to use three days leave to effectively get 10 days straight off so it's not a big deal. I swear when I was younger and companies had forced shutdown they just paid you your usual salary instead of taking it out of your leave. Maybe I just never noticed.

        I used to do that too, nobody ever sends in repairs at christmas time so i used to just work alone in the office and sit in peace with nobody to bother me. Twas bliss.

        I suffer from the opposite problem. I hate being in the office when there's no work on. Hunting for shit to do is the worst. I'm actually taking a week off before Christmas purely because we're so light on.

          Yeah, I am at work, but have no work at the moment. It is driving me quietly insane.

            I've always tried to take the approach instilled in me by my trainer when I was a bartender: "The first rule of bartending is that you NEVER have nothing to do." It doesn't matter how menial and shitty the task, there is always a list of things to be cleaned or thrown out. There is never an excuse for a bartender to not look busy.

            ...Taking that approach to office crap means looking at all the house-keeping that bugs people when they encounter it but which no-one ever does.

            The downside to this is... that stuff is SO BORING and that's the reason it didn't get done in the first place. SOOOOO BOOOORING.

              Yeah, my desk is clean, the toilets are clean, I've cleaned out the filing cabinets, even nailed some of the backs of the book-cases to improve them.
              I literally can find almost nothing else to do, and have another week of this. I'm going crazy.

      I'm spending four days to get two weeks off. It's a good feeling

      If you are planning on traveling and being out of town then take the full 16 days
      If you plan to stay home head into work, likely to be very chilled anyway if you have forced leave

        Looks like there's gonna be a few days of travel thanks to silly season family stuff.

          If the work days don't clash with those do the work. If you are low on leave save it for when you actually want/need to use it

      My place of employment has 6 weeks of enforced leave over Christmas and New Years.
      Sometimes I love being a teacher :P

        I agree with the leave thing!
        Though I hate December teaching with yr 6s - they go mental!


    Let as know what you've been listening too/doing for kicks!

    You know the rules - name of the last song you listed too followed by "in my ass!"

    While you're at it - donate to our super-cool Movember team to raise money for a worthy cause!
    Better yet, make a donation with your answer to the game! FUN FOR ALL AGES AND AWKWARD EXPLANATIONS AT WORK!

    Helden in my ass!

    "Helden" is German for heroes!


      Don't Stop Believin' in my ass.
      Words to live by.

        How could we stop when yo ass don't quit

      Oh dear, I was listening to the Countdown 40th Anniversary compilation this morning. Let's see, where did I get up to before I dozed off on the train... ah yes.

      Pump it Up... in my ass.

      Well, I'd just started another song when I paused and stopped listening. But the last complete song I listened to was great.

      Blood on the Keys in my Ass.

      Last time I played music was mowing the lawn on Sunday arvo and Arcade Fire makes great mowing music.

      Porno in my ass.

      Oh dear...

      The last 3 I listened to -

      Torn Within in my ass
      Forced To Die in my ass
      Blood Turns To Tears in my ass.

      (I actually skipped a song where the title doesn't work in the middle. Spoooooky).

      I Can Feel You in my ass.
      That worked surprisingly well...

        and goes with your name, perfectly.

      I wish they all could be California Girls in my ass.

        Beach Boys CDs are a problem.

        Brian's Back in my ass.

          Now it's Disney Girls In my ass.

          Next track is Games two can play...

            The beach boys were made for this game

    Max is asleep on my lap, whether I like it or not.

      At times like this, best to just read a few catalogues...

        or recategorize your music library.

          Then listen to your new library on your new Roccat headphones

            you could listen to your new favourite song "im on a boat" and dream about owning a catamaran and sailing the world.

              I wanted to get that song but my connection to the internet just doesn't seem to be working at all. I'm going to be getting myself a replacement Cat 6 cable just to be sure it's not the cable being the cause of this problem.

              Last edited 26/11/15 12:01 pm

                make sure you communicate to the salesperson that you require cat 6 cable. Some will sell you cat 5e instead.

    Am i the only one that finds the sound of this game hilarious and fun?
    It's just so... dumb.... How could it be anything other than awesome?!
    And those steam reviews? Gold.

    No way I'd pay that much for it, though....

      If it was $5 I'd buy a bunch of gift copies and throw them out at random. I'll either be embarrassing people and making me laugh or giving people something they want. Win-win :P

        Pretty much my htoughts exactly - I think $5 would be my sweet spot on that game - as cheap as that sounds.

      5/10 average reviews from critics and users across the Internet.

      9/10 average reviews on Steam.


        Never trust a critic, i say.

        Also why I'd say $5 would be the sweet spot.

        Seriously considering picking up hyperdimension, though.

    God dammit my phone keeps going off with messages from just about everyone else and giving me a heart attack every time.

    Totally right in my prediction. Just wrong about the day :P

    I'm not going to bother looking at the Steam sale and wait until the Christmas one. It always has better deals...although, Life is Strange looks pretty worthwhile for that price.

    Damn it.

      I want Life is Strange and that's a great price point - I don't think the entire series has been on sale before, it's always just the first episode - but I'm skint for the month, which is baffling since I just got paid like two weeks ago. It'll probably be up again around Christmas and besides, I'm still nuts for Fallout 4 so spending money on new games at this point is silly.

    Freya and I are coming to Brisbane from 23/12-29/12. We should try to do something involving meats and possibly even meat.

    Someone do the magic TAY names thing?

    EDIT: Maybe we head to the GO Lounge in Stones Corner and then have dinner somewhere nearby after? I've emailed them to see when they're open over the Christmas period.

    Last edited 26/11/15 12:34 pm

      I said something on Facebook and somebody with a name similar to the 1960s TV Batman said that we should do something at GO Lounge. I agree with Batman.

      Last edited 26/11/15 12:35 pm

      I'm pretty much up for stuff on Friday night's & lunch during weekdays if I'm working in the cbd.

      Mrs works Sundays so I don't really like to go out Saturday.

        Isn't Friday Christmas? Friday/Saturday are probably out by default unfortunately.

          Ha! I forgot Xmas exists. Yeah, I'm off work for a fortnight, just see what happens

      I can do Saturday and Sunday, that's about it unless you want to do it on a weekday morning/lunch time

      Last edited 26/11/15 1:33 pm

      I should be right for stuff. I don't think GO Lounge will have a huge amount of capacity if there's a large group of us but I'm sure we'll manage.

      i fly out on christmas eve and come back to brisbane when you guys are leaving.
      That makes me laugh
      So if you wanna meet on the 23rd im free otherwise im out mr bun bun

        We come in fairly late on the 23rd but I'm sure we can do something. Not sure what that something could be but something.

      Honestly not a fan of board games in the slightest, which makes us mortal enemies. (And also means I'll probably skip the Go Lounge thing.) Keep me posted about the dinner, though! <3

        Pssst is the Go lounge a bored game thing?

          You know it.


            So, let's not get together again for PAX North?

      Aww, we're leaving for a week's holiday on the 25th, and pretty sure the 23rd and 24th will be family obligations. :(

    In this new age of graphics card manufacturers redoing their software and graphics management systems, I thought I'd give my thoughts on AMD's Crimson, because I'm pretty sure I'm only one of maybe 3 people who were silly enough to buy an AMD card.

    I uninstalled Catalyst and installed Crimson.
    It lets me actually load Origin and Battlefront, unlike the last version of Catalyst.

    Last edited 26/11/15 2:39 pm

      Oh god, the new interface is so much better. Except it refuses to acknowledge my 2TB hard drive full of Steam games, and I really can't be arsed adding them all one by one. Meh, I'll add them when I need to tweak something, I guess.

    There was this tramp. One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

    Without a moment's hesitation he ran out onto the ice and slipped and slided over to a little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and carried her back to the road. He took off his coat and wrapped her in it then began looking for a car to flag down.

    Coincidentally the father drives up. "How can I ever thank you sir?" he says after putting his daughter into the warmth of the limo. "Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

    "Ah, well..." stammers the tramp, "... uh, I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out."

    "Oh dear," says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten pounds - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe."

    "No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten pounds is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that'll be plenty."

    "Ten pounds," thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!" and off he goes to the town to buy himself a holiday.

    He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk. "I'll have one holiday please!"

    "Ahem, which holiday would sir like?" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

    "Oh, any holiday I don't mind, anything up to ten pounds," replies the tramp.

    "TEN POUNDS! You'll NEVER get a holiday for ten pounds," says the girl incredulously.

    She goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement - she finds an old file.

    "Well you'll never believe it," she says to the tramp, back in the shop. "I've got you a holiday - its a super-duper, ultra-hyper, mega-economy class round the world cruise - and it costs ten pounds."

    "Yippee!" exclaims the tramp, "I'll take it!"

    A few days later he arrives at the port, and there in the dock is the most beautiful, most elaborately decorated, most expensive looking ocean-going liner he has ever seen.

    "Get off my ship ye dirty bum!" shouts a voice, and an irate captain storms down the gangplank and kicks the tramp down onto the dockside.

    "But I've got my ticket!", responds the tramp, "super-duper, ultra-hyper, mega-economy class, and I want on!"

    "Well okay," says the captain, "but you can't come on just now, I don't want my first-class passengers seeing you. Come back at midnight when it's dark and I'll let you on then."

    So the tramp finds himself a quiet spot among some cargo cases on the dockside, and he falls asleep.

    "Psst," says a voice, waking him with a start. It was the captain.

    "Hurry up, it's midnight, let's get you to your cabin."

    The tramp toddles after the captain, along the dockside, up the gangway, and onto the ship - and what a ship!

    First they went down through the first class level: Oriental carpets - 6" pile. A genuine Rembrandt on every wall. Leave your shoes outside for cleaning, and the steward brings a new pair. 24 ct gold trim everywhere.

    Then the second class: As above, but perhaps the carpets were only 3" deep, and so on...

    3rd, 4th, 5th class, down past the casinos, and the ballrooms, down through the crew's quarters, down through the galleys, and the engine rooms, until finally, at the lowest point in the ship, against the very hull, the captain opens a watertight door into a tiny 7' x 4' cabin, with a hammock, a bedside table, and an alarm clock.

    "Sheer luxury!" exclaimed the tramp, "A room of my very own."

    "I'm glad you like it," replies the captain, "but there is one more thing... Your class of ticket only allows you to use the facilities of the ship, at night - when all the other passengers are asleep. So that's what the alarm clock is for. Enjoy your cruise."

    Well the cruise began, and the tramp had a whale of a time. Sleeping by day, and up on deck at night - he loved it. One-man-tennis, clay pigeon shooting, more food than he'd ever seen...

    Then one morning, a week or so into the cruise, the tramp decided he'd have a go on the diving board of the pool. He had just enough time for one dive before he had to go below.

    He climbed up the ladder, stepped onto the board tip, bounced, and dived...

    ... and what a dive...!

    Perfectly poised in the air, he hit the water without so much as a ripple.

    Now unknown to him, the captain - who'd grown rather fond of the poor old tramp - was standing watching this.

    "That was amazing!" exclaimed the captain, "Where did you learn to dive like that?"

    "Um, well I've never actually dived before," replied the tramp.

    "Well that's incredible!" says the captain, "I've never seen..." He broke off. "Hey, I've got an idea", he started again. "How would you like to train a bit, and we'll put on a show for the other passengers. I'll pay you, and you can then afford to go first class!"

    "It's a deal!" says our man. For the next 3 weeks the tramp practices like he's never practiced before. Back-flips, front-flips, triple-back sideways axled dives, you name it he tried it.

    Then one morning the captain comes to talk. "Okay, I'd like you to stay in your cabin for the next 2 days. We're going to erect a high diving board for you."

    "Okay," agreed the tramp.

    Two days passed, and the big day arrived. The ship was humming with excitement. Everyone wanted to see the mystery diver. The captain had provided the tramp with a new pair of swimming trunks and he wore these as he stepped out onto the sun-beaten deck. Gasps of astonishment from the crowd, and a hushed awe. Higher than the eye could see, towering up and up, rose a slender column of metal.

    "Well, tramp," said the captain, shaking his hand, "Let's see what you can do." And with that the Captain handed him a walkie talkie. And the tramp began to climb...

    up and up...

    below him the ship grew smaller...

    on and on...

    past a solitary albatross...

    and still higher...

    till the ship was but a speck on the ocean below...

    and on still further...

    / till the ocean grew dim...

    and the earth itself...

    began to shrink...

    past our moon...

    and on...

    and Mars...

    and on...

    higher, and higher...

    through the asteroid belt...

    and on and on towards the diving board...

    past the outer planets, until...

    on the outermost reaches of the Solar System...

    he reached the board.

    He climbed on top and radioed the captain...

    and then...

    .' '.
    . .
    . .
    he jumped.
    Slowly at first,
    but speeding up,
    faster, and faster,
    speeding past Pluto,
    and the other outer planets,





    through the asteroid belt,

    past Mars,

    and the moon,


    and faster,

    faster - ever faster,

    and by now the earth was growing large in the distance, the oceans and land masses grew clear,

    faster, and faster,

    past the albatross,

    double-back somersault,

    and he could see the ship, tiny in the distance,

    hurtling down now, he posed, ready for the final 500 feet,

    Down on the ship the crew strained their necks,

    "I CAN SEE HIM!" yelled a passenger, "LOOK!!!"

    The tramp streaked down towards the pool, did a last triple flip, and dove...












    STILL DOWN...!





    Into the sea bed, sinking a 37' shaft in the process.

    Desperate for air he struggle out of the shaft, his lungs bursting he swam frantically for the surface.

    Up and up, desperate, gasping...

    Out of the water, up the ladder onto the deck of the ship, into a throng wild with acclaim.


    And handing him a heated towel the captain spoke, as a hush fell over the crowd.

    "Well tramp, I have NEVER seen anything like that, EVER. That was the most *STUPENDOUS* piece of diving I have ever seen."

    The tramp blushed.

    The captain went on, "but tell me, most amazing of all is how you survived smashing through this boat after you dived - how did you do it."

    And the tramp looked at the captain, and the crowd and replied modestly: "Well you see...

    I'm a just poor tramp...

    so you must understand...

    I've been through many a hard ship in my life."

      That was great

        It's no longestjokeintheworld . com

        Last edited 26/11/15 4:41 pm

          Don't click on anything on that site... it comes up with one of those 'PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER TO REMOVE THE SPYWARE THAT JUST GOT INSTALLED ON YOUR COMPUTER' messages.

          I mean, you can just close it with task manager, but it's loud as fuck and I'm wearing headphones and oh god my ears.

            What? No it doesn't?


              Yeah. Totally blasted the shit out of my ears. I scrolled all the way down to the bottom to see what the punchline was and must have clicked something because 2 seconds later some woman is telling me how virus-infested my computer is.

              Jokes on her - it's a work laptop, I don't give a shit.

                Aw, shit dude, sorry about that. I just Googled the punchline of the joke and that was the first site that popped up. I didn't get anything like that, possibly because I've got AdBlocker going.

                I've updated the link to another site.

    That's 14 messages I've received so far today.

    Heart attack every time, and not one of them ended up being from her :P

      Just dont do the double message after a few hours, you will hate yourself forever.

        ...don't suppose there's an upper limit on the amount of time before this becomes ok? >_>

      Carve your initials + her initials inside of a loveheart into a tree and send her a picture of it.
      Nothing is more romantic ;)

        Its better if you do it on your flesh.

          Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!

      We get it! You're popular! Jeez!

        I've just been spamming his phone with "has she texted yet" every half an hour. So that's probably like 12 of the messages.

    I asked on Twitter but I'm going to post here as well.

    Anyone keen to try out It's an unofficial way to play Agricola over the interwebs. Agricola is one of the best worker placement games out there and I really wish I could play it more. This site may just be the way to do it.

    You don't need to know how to play Agricola although looking up some tutorials online will be a good idea. We'll hop on TS sometime around 8pm (AEDT) and give it a whirl. Game should take about 45min per player with probably half an hour of faffing around beforehand to work out what we're doing.

    Sound good? Great. Hurray. Sound less good? Well, you're a jerk and I don't want to play with you anyway. Harrumph.

    Welp, caved and went for the 390x from MSY - then had to ask at eight shops at Capitol Square before I found one stocking active DP-DVI adapters.

    Is anyone else getting the 'please whitelist us on your AdBlock extension' message on the Kotaku main page even though they don't use AdBlock? Only just started then.

      Only just noticed I'm not getting it here at home. Even though I was getting it at work from around lunchtime today.

      I'm assuming they're testing/implementing it now, so there might be a few hitches.

        Yeah that's what I figured. I was just a bit concerned something was going wrong with my browser that prevented them from receiving payment for the ads that were being displayed. I'm sure when the YouTube player screws up it doesn't count my views properly which is really annoying.

      I got it as well but I did hostfile tabola syndication away so figured it was that

    Dear Sydney peeps:
    F you!


      Booked out, huh?

      I don't think I want to go take a look at eBay right now :P

    This whole housing saga sucks,
    i feel sick,
    The lady who owns the house called me at work and asked if i can start looking for other housing options because she got a lengthy text message from my roommate saying i did a bunch of shit that i didn't. I explained i was moving anyway but i felt the need to defend myself and rebute the shit that was told to her
    That i smoked pot in her house
    that i constantly stumble home drunk
    THat i never clean or mow
    that my room is a sty.
    and my favourite: He has brought several prostitiutes home and they have loud noisy sex on weekdays and i feel unsafe in that environment.

    You know how stupid i felt telling a middle aged lady i havent had sex in like 6 months. The answer: Very stupid.

    Anyway hopefully i hear back about this unit today so i can move my shit tomorow, in the meantime i guess ill go to a brothel tonight and stay with my bitches. :/

      Oh what? I thought you did do all those things. Lame.

      If it's really that big of a problem, maybe you should stop being such a bad housemate you filthy whoremongering dopefiend.

        The kids who sell dope wont even deal to me because i look younger than they do

      Alternatively, and this could be a really crazy and out there theory: your housemate is fucking nuts.

      I recommend taking a video of how amazingly clean your room is as soon as you're able, and adding, "The person I'm living with is a sociopath trying to get rid of me for reasons they won't articulate because they don't even respond when I try to engage them in friendly conversation - so don't be surprised if they get someone else who they also don't like and you suddenly start hearing similar lies about the new person, too."

      (Edit: Well. That's not what I would do. I would confront the roommate and ask them, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and see if the resulting argument might actually yield some kind of clue as to... y'know. What the FUCK is wrong with them. But confrontation isn't everyone's bag.)

      Last edited 26/11/15 4:08 pm

        yeah i already took photos and i also added ive been doing free maintence to the house. I fixed several door handles, i did some electrical work and replaced a few socket switches, I fixed the mower and the dryer which hadnt worked in months. I didnt ask for compensation, i just did it to make everyones life easier. To then get told that im disrespecting the house really hurt. Not only stuff for the house, i fixed my roomates camera and laptop and even printed a gopro mount for her motorcycle.

          Any chance you can install spyware on his/her computer before you go for that sweet, sweet revenge?

            i would but im not super into revenge. im more of a get really upset and yell into a void for a hour or two then use it as one of my "oh rocketman" stories.
            see "the story of rockets crazy ex who broke into his house and had sex with a random dude and then ross walked in on them" story

          You really need to visit mr

      You need to find better friends man.

        she wasnt a friend, i just applied for a room online, I maybe should do a background check next time :/

          Ahh right. Yeah stuff living with randoms, your home is too important a space.

      Man I would be absolutely fuming if that happened; your housemate is psycho and thank god you're moving out.

      Make sure you document how you LEAVE your room and get your housemate to sign the pictures.

      Is she moving out at the same time?

        nope, shes staying. Im effectively getting kicked out, its okay, i didnt sign a lease so i dont give a fuck. the lady who i pay rent to said i can have my bond back so im just gonna get the fuck outta there :)

          Still do it, cover your arse. Get her to sign off on the condition of the rooms so if she complains later on you're covered.

            I think I flatted with her before, or another nutcase with identical problems.

      Rocketbuddy is a playa.
      In a more serious tone, that sucks dude.
      Hope this unit thing comes through for you.

    Thanks to people who randomly popped up late last night and played some Fibbage/Quiplash with me and my darling mother.

    I have no words for some of the jokes that she slowly tapped out on that iPad.

      I kinda want to write Your Friend, The Wall Socket.

    Just hit 1,000 lifetime wins in Hearthstone.

    What am I doing with my life ....


        You hear from that girl yet? Take her to the Star tonight!

          Have not. And probably a bit short notice for that :P

            Tale her to Star and propose to her in one of their hotel room toilets. It's what I did and 10 years later we're still together so plan is foolproof.

    Heh. I was looking through my "On this day" stuff on Facebook and noticed Facebook was telling me more than 1 person commented on some stuff and I had replied to whoever it was, they had vanished. I then worked it out, it was a ex-mate who I unfriended about 9 months back, he's apparently blocked me. Heh. I guess he got sick & tired seeing me comment on mutual friends stuff, too funny.

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