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    Okay, Aldrich, Devourer of Gods can just fuck off... How are you supposed to beat him without summons? I'd think having over 1000hp would prevent me from being one shot but apparently not.

      ROLL, MAN. EAT DEM GREEN BLOSSOMS AND ROLL AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

      Unless it's the energy blasts. Those require rolling and copious prayers to gods not affiliated with Dark Souls. In which case, I can only say to go in close and circle strafe.

      I found Aldrich really manageable (like five or six deaths, admittedly, but I knew what I was doing wrong).

      My strategy:
      Closing the gap is really important once you hit the second stage, you want to be in his face all the time so he can't pop any of the spells, and most of his attacks are really easy to dodge through. The moment he starts "burrowing" run into the middle of the room so that when he pops up again you're there, and a lot of the time you can bait out his attacks and then smash his tail thingy.

        The worst part is that this is more or less exactly what I'm doing, just that any time I need to heal and stop blocking or dodging, I get bumped by one of his trailing bits that does insane damage so I have to withdraw behind a pillar which prompts him to do his bullshit arrow spam attack. On a side note, that arrow spam is more what I expected from crystal hail rather than the crappy drizzle of extremely light damage that it turned out to be. That's 20000 souls that would have been better spent levelling me up...

        Last edited 25/04/16 11:33 am

          Alright, then I'd recommend curling up in a ball and crying.

          *nods head sagely*

      Yeah, I struggled with him too.
      All I can suggest is yeah: close asap, then stay just inside the range of his weapon, dodge the swings, get a charged heavy in and get out early. Also wear high fire/dark resist gear if you aren't already, I used the Conjurers set.
      When you have the sparks homing in on you, strafe with a high dark defense shield and that should help with the damage. If he arrow storms, run about half of the room width from him - he likes to lifesteal scythe while it's up.
      Don't get too far away - that's when he uses the dark lance attack. Again, closing asap is the key to this fight.

      Last edited 25/04/16 1:20 pm

      I ended that fight with mutually assured destruction. Had a few hits left, he charges arrow spam, I'm outta estus, and figure "what the hell" and went for it.
      Still counted.

        I got bloody close to that myself, he was left with the tiniest sliver of health when he killed me last time. I did manage to get him with the aid of a summon though and then knocked out the Dancer fairly easily. Well easily on attempt 2, I thought I was just going to open a path with the silver bowl rather than instigate a boss fight, I'd not rested beforehand so went in with 2 flasks & half health... I've just got the last lord left and whatever optional bosses I've not done.

    Ok, I'm glad I didn't read Totilo's review til after I'd spent some time with Star Fox. Dunno what he's on about, the game's great.

    Rather hard to pick between playing that and Guard though, that's been surprisingly good too. Need to get around to putting together some squads.

      I can agree with him about the control scheme, but I think he's way off on the level design. The Arwing sections are pure Star Fox, and the other vehicles add a nice twist to keep things interesting. That level where you bomb the search lights is sweet. They really captured the Star Fox sense of mechanical exploration as you replay the levels, poking them in different ways to see what sort of Rube Goldberg machine you can set in motion this time. I'll admit some of these levels aren't going to be as fun to replay as others but that's always the case.
      I dunno, I suspect he was either expecting too much thanks to Lylatt Wars nostalgia or he's not a fan and was expecting his mind to be blown because Star Fox is a big name.

        I found all the talk of "Fox's neck" to be super weird too. Especially in regards to the tank, you're controlling the freakin turret ffs :P

        But yeah, the controls are kind of weird. I find that they're much better if you switch screens so that the cockpit view is up on the TV, then it's suddenly super playable (although Sector Omega is the one level where I won't do that :P). I kind of wonder if that's how they intended it to be, but then were worried that people would think it was too "not Star Fox" to have that instead of the classic third person view, and switched things around so as to not alienate fans at first glance.

          Yeah that was a weird way to describe it.
          I tried switching to first person and it worked pretty well but I like to see more than what's directly in front of me. Especially since this game doesn't have a radar.

            Oh yeah, the lack of radar is killing me in all range mode. Htf am I meant to slaughter countless enemies if I can't find the damn things!

    Apparently I play Dark souls better when drunk.
    Was struggling a bit with the Nameless King but then last night, drunk off my skull I though "I'll give it another shot, why not?" and proceeded to down him first try, smashing my previous attempts easily.
    Because apparently missing half my rolls and blocking instead was the key to that fight all along.

    Last edited 25/04/16 1:23 pm

      Maybe I should give that a try tonight because I've hit a wall with this guy. I think I'm going to try fighting him without the camera lock. Between the camera flipping around and everything looking the same I'm having trouble with my situational awareness.

        He's a bit of a bastard.
        I found a high stability shield better than a low stab, high lightning resist one. And blocking some of his close range swings instead of trying to dodge them all gave me better opportunities to get a safe hit in.
        Took more bleed through damage but got actually hit less.

          I switched out my beloved shield of want for a greatshied with nearly double the stability, and equipped some lighter armour to compensate and stay under 70%... it's making me wish I'd done that sooner.

          High stability is godly. Giant serpent-man axes just bounce right off it, no problem.

            Yup, makes things so much easier. Shield bash is pretty great too. Some jerk not letting you get in a hit? Bash his face in and he'll be wide open.

              Especially since it does additional stam-damage to shield-blocking. Try swinging that greatsword now, fool!

      Something about dexterity and skill based games where switching your brain off actually improves your performance. Used to happen to me in dota and cod all the time, I'd perform way better on booze.

      I've found a few games I play better when slightly buzzed. Maybe it stops you worrying as much about all the possible outcomes or something? Got to get it into the Ballmer Peak though.

    Spoilers for Smoldering Lake and the areas in, above and below Irithyll.

    So wandered down into the Smoldering Lake... Large titanite galore! Exploited a balrog's fascination with the corner of a room, then explored further and beat up his dad. :P Went back to Irithyll using the Executioner's sword at +6 and had a much easier time of it - strike damage on that seems extremely powerful... Found Malthael and beat him in a couple of tries, then made my way into Anor Londo and fought the Duskmoon Centipede and his horde of purple fireflies, several times. And I thought Crystal Sage was annoying... The only reason I regret summoning for Aldritch in the end was because the guy I summoned wiped the floor with him while I was preoccupied with dodging bullshit for 45 seconds, so wasn't a satisfying end to an hour of frustration.

    Went wandering for a while trying to figure out where I needed to go next - somewhere called the Profaned Capital...
    After an hour of wandering about and puzzling over item descriptions, I stumbled across the right road, found Irithyll Dungeon (which can fuck right off) and made it to the Profaned Capital. Now to find Yhorm...

    Edit: Well, that was fast...

    Yhorm was only a short walk away. He has a lot of health, or more accurately, high physical defence... not too hard to avoid his hits, tho. After that first attempt, I figured I must be missing something, so cue the recon run. Followed by several attempts failing to deal significant damage with the (extremely noisy) giant-slayer sword. Before playing around with it and figuring out how to actually use it. :P Now for the Dancer...

    Last edited 25/04/16 8:22 pm

      I totally did yhorm the hard way.
      Was doing the no damage and wondering what I was missing, then happened to hit his wrist - for extra damage. Thus I thought that was the trick and spent half an hour whittling him down like that.
      Then afterwards walked over to the throne and found the sword of +1 giant slaying :/

        It still took me a couple of tries with the sword and knowing how to use it - it takes so long to charge. Awesome fight, tho - so many times he'd start attacking as I was trying to charge it, and would have to dodge, reposition and start over.

        Got past the Dancer last night with some help - that fog door is buggy as hell for summons. I put my sign down to see why three of the four summon attempts never entered the arena with me (the one that did make into the arena got one-shot immediately :P)... Got summoned five times, and could finally follow the host through the gate on the last try. Took that as my cue to try to get some yellow phantoms through the gate; one died on the phase transition whirlygig, the other died to the same attack later on when they got backed into a corner, but I avenged them.

        If it weren't for that buggy fog gate, I'd have stuck around and sunbro'd for a while - you get a lot of souls for helping with that boss.

      If the dungeon is still giving you trouble, I suspect that the key is the lights the jailers carry.

      When the lanterns light up red, it takes a second or 2 but then they drain the shit out of your maximum health while you're in line of sight so trying to take them on at range is a bad idea. I found the best tactic was to hit them with an arrow, fall back behind cover and make them come to me. The other bastard is their branding stab thing, if they hit you with the first part of that you have to roll immediately or you'll just die outright when they pin you with it because you simply can't attack in time to stagger them.

        Oh, yea, I'd made it through the dungeon and to the next area when I posted that.

        There's a bonfire shortcut about 1/2 or 2/3 of the way through it that goes through a room with nine or ten jailers - I basically hid in the hallway and filled them with arrows from the doorway, one by one; missed one that wasn't with the main group, which resulted in the screenshot I posted. They're not hard to kill, just need to get them quick - charging in and quickly stunlocking them with a heavy-hitting weapon works, otherwise a few headshots with a bow prevents them from sapping your health if you're far enough away.

        But it's also the general vibe of that place that makes me not want to go back.

        I think I only died in there once, but the jailers, the screams, and these guys... I know there's a pyromancer in that room with all the jailers, but as I don't use pyromancy, don't see any need to find the key to set him free. :P

          Oh those guys, yeah... What is the collective noun for a group of Gollums? An obsession, a precious?

        That brand actually has an effect on it which fucks your stamina/equipment load/dexterity, too.

    So I had a Warmachine tournament yesterday and ended up coming second. Which is odd cause I was expecting myself to come fourth. It was a pretty good day, but what annoyed me was that I accidentally pissed off one of the players. At the moment I only have one more Warmachine tournament before the game officially switches to MK3.

      How did you accidentally piss them off? If it was in game and you did something the didn't like them boo hoo. If it was non game comments that could be on you. If it was something that you couldn't have know would upset them, they should get over it.
      Also well done.

        In tournaments you play on death clock. Your timer counts down at the start of your turn and once you switch over to your opponents side, you're submitting to the end of your turn.

        However, there are certain rules and abilities that allow attacks, movement and damage rolls outside of your activation. When this occurs, the gentlemen thing to do is to switch the clock.

        During the start of my turn I had to roll for fire continuous effects on my models, which was on my clock. Having failed them, the clock switches to my opponents side for him to do his damage roll. Normally people avoid switch for a few rules because it's so short there's no real point. But the clock didn't switch over to my side a couple of times during this moment. In the end I managed to win with only 1.6 seconds remaining on my clock (I was pretty much playing with a conceded loss throughout the whole game anyways).

        My opponent was pretty annoyed because he thought the few seconds of time I should have counted would have resulted in my loss by death clock. Stating that if this was a real tournament that he would have called me out on it and was pretty annoyed he lost the match that way.

    My weekend report:
    - Got a haircut so I don't look like a hobo any more

    - Seattle, at least the area around CenturyLink Stadium / International District / Pioneer Square, is shit. Give me Inner-city Melbourne any day. Bonus: don't feel like I'm going to get mugged if I go one block too far.

    - Anamanaguchi are really good live. Really good. They were a perfect opener for the concert and I'd happily pay to go see them specifically instead of just as an opening act.

    - Miku Hatsune live show is surprisingly awesome, though it was also kind of weird. Required to
    stay seated the whole time (have never encountered this at a concert before but I wonder if it was due to the projection) and they didn't dim the overhead lights in the stands where I was sitting so didn't get 100% into it. Glad I bought a premium glowstick, the chemical ones were shitty. Wish I'd gotten two. Also wish I'd gone for a 'VIP' ticket, because would have been closer. Turns out my vision issues and the projection they use don't mix well, since she's projected into a glass screen (which looks frighteningly real) she's sort of lit up and any bright light in a darkened space gets distorted. Closer would have been way better. Also would have meant early access which would have meant I could have bought some merchandise. They had some sales outside the venue as well, but had strictly limited stock. By the time I got in the queue at the merch booth was ridiculous, and after the show was just as bad. Decided not to stand in line for another hour and forgo the shirt. :( Anyway it's probably the strangest thing I've seen in terms of musical acts, but would happily see her again. Especially if they have another song lineup that good. Was a couple I'd have liked to hear that they didn't do but on the other hand I had no expectation of hearing Sekiranun Graffiti (fave of mine) and they played that, so I definitely came away pretty happy.

    - Awesome evening this evening playing Pathfinder with everyone. Missed playing with you guys a lot! Glad I was able to make it for one more session.

    @welbot - https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/244993

    Ha!

      mm nice price indeed! I couldn't handle an ultra wide though :\ Not only would it look weird to me, it wouldn't fit well on my desk! ;)
      I'm satisfied enough with my 3840x2160 28" :) Only cost me $485!

        Yeah, I wouldn't want it either. Don't need width, would just be wasted :P

        And damn, that is a lot of pixels.

    http://gamasutra.com/view/news/271262/Desilets_ends_legal_fight_with_Ubisoft_regains_rights_to_1666.php

    I hope this means that Patrice is going to be back designing stuff. Assassin's Creed was at its absolute best when he was the creative director (II and AssBros). The whole saga when he left to go to THQ to work on his 1666 concept and then was re-acquired by Ubisoft and fired again was pretty awful so glad he won.

      My sadness about this is that he won't get to 1666 until he's finished his current project, which based on early stuff looked to be quite long term.

      Still, definitely an overall good thing.

        I hope whoever he shops it to allows him to have a 'if we're acquired by another company the rights revert to Patrice' clause.

        Because it would be hilarious if they sold it to, like, Take 2 or something and then Ubisoft bought them again.

    Morning everyone !
    I finished Ratchet and clank and Deadpool over the weekend, Now to find another game :)

    I've been getting more headaches over the last month,: so got my eyes tested, I need new glasses :( At least I know it should help.

    Also played so many games of Tiny Epic Galaxies - (Sooo goood), and a game of Civ Boardgame,

    Good weekend, How was yours?

    Last edited 26/04/16 8:53 am

    As of today, I have grown exactly one year of beard.

    ...now what? :P

      I'm not sure, but I think the rules state you are now stuck with it forever

        Uh oh. Maybe I should've taken a look at those first.

      You can't shave it off now as it is the source of your power.

        Could be true. I've already had a higher rate of dating during beard time than in any other period of my life :P Even moreso if the Aerialist thing turns out to be a thing.

    Good morning TAY

    Last song played game time!

    You've Seen The Butcher by Deftones

    How was your weekend?

    What was YOUR last song played?

    I spent most of my weekend breaking furniture and sorting through things for the council clean up

    Fuck cancer

      Passing Breeze (Euro Mix) - Outrun OST

      Vapor Trails - RUSH

      I'm on a RUSH kick this morning, not sure why, but I ain't complaining.

      Drink - Alestorm

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55CqLc6IR0

    So, Torrentfreak estimates over 10% of GoT torrents downloaded yesterday were by Australians - keeping up with our history of more people pirating the show than actually maintaining Foxtel subscriptions.
    On a completely unrelated note, an English audio track over a Russian cut of a television show doesn't help when the show has a made up language that requires subtitles.

    How's fings?

    I been watching Game Sack on YouTube & now I'm all knowledged up on Turbo Grafx 16.

    @distantdrop @jocon Success! I managed to join a mythic raiding guild that's starting up a second group at the heroic level, also managed to pug a progression group monday morning and cleared half of HFC on normal :D At this rate I might actually get to see the entirety of this raid without having to pay for a run =P

      Haha, nice.
      Man that's an inconvenient post just after I've finished Dark Souls and am looking for something else to do.

        Yeaahhhh I could use someone to grind out my dailies with (a lot of tanaan requires 2-3 people to get done quickly).

        The raid group I'm with raids 8-10 Fri and Sun which is less than ideal but I'm not going to join them for another week or two until I meet ilvl reqs. So until then I was going to try finding normal progression pugs for HFC, mechanically the fights are actually a lot lot easier than BRF. I've killed 5 bosses so far and imo 4 were on Gruul's difficulty level and 1 was on par with beastlord darmac.

        Last edited 26/04/16 10:50 am

          Fair enough, brf had some pretty technical fights.
          I'd be way under ilvl and since the raiding is the main thing I enjoyed I'll probably just wait till closer to legion.

            Fair call, probs worth coming back for pre-patch to legion though.

              Yeah, Legion is august 30?
              I'll probably jump on in July. Noobfinder mode hfc, mess around in tannan, browse perspective guilds.
              I assume Legion will come with a character boost like the last xpack did. Cause dammed if I'm levelling up one from scratch. And I dunno if monk was the wisest choice of alt.

                Monks are best.

                No Bias.

                  Man w/e shaman's ftw. Also we get doomhammer while you guys get some stupid staff thing.

                  If I'm gonna try healing this time round monks have a lot to juggle for a first-time healer and I'd prefer an rdps offspec to fall back on.
                  @pupp3tmast3r you going shaman again in Legion?

                  Last edited 26/04/16 3:47 pm

      Ahh progression groups, when downing oregorger feels like the lich king.

      But yeah hopefully it all pans out, sounds like a lot of fun.

        Mother flipping oregorger =,= That shit was so overtuned for 10man. Also caster dps were at a distinct disadvantage that fight.

          Casters seemed to have it rough in Warlords. Lots of high movement fights.
          Glad I played a hunter!

            Tell me about it man. BRF was especially tough as a lot of the fights had constant movement, which effectively derails your rotation in your head so your constantly rebuilding it mid-fight depending on procs/trinks. Easy when you're running an arcane mage with a 3 button rotation however as ele you run a 5 button priority based rotation so yeah... fuck that.

            And yeah legion = character booster to 100.

    Weekend! Too many long weekends. Always such a huge influx of support tickets at work afterwards.

    Finally finished catching up on the rest of Dr Who, actually overtaking Wingman who was complaining that she couldn't discuss any of it with me the other day. So now it's my turn to pester I guess.

    Went down to Gamesmen and picked up Star Fox, spent a good deal of the weekend with that. Really liking it though, even if it is kicking my arse a bit. SF Guard is ​​​​pretty great too, will be switching between each of them a lot.

    ​​My monitor ended up dying for good on Saturday night, so I am sad, and lamenting the loss of 16:10 goodness. Seem to have found a suitable replacement, but the long weekend screwed with that and now I mightn't be able to get it til today (hopefully!).

    Finally got a response from Aerialist last night, longest it's taken to get one back. She's been busy apparently :P But it wasn't a "not interested", so still have to wait and see how things play out. This is like the slowest game of chess ever. Or basically any game of chess I've ever played.

    Weekend update

    Nice weekend, a good mix of family and work.
    Saturday morning work meeting then home to get ready to go out, Had my Aunts 60th as well as their 40th anniversary so big family party. Tiglet got to meet some more extended family, was a nice day, aunt loved the flowers we got her. My folk were there as well which is always nice. Good food and catching up with cousins is always nice. The funniest part of the night was Tiglet eating my bread roll and not letting me have any. She is mad about bread currently. I managed to get a bit more food into her after that, some pasta salad, potato and a bit of the meat before she squirmed her way off my lap. So I finish eating as she goes of exploring. A little while later she comes back with another bread roll and we still have no idea who she took that from.

    Sunday I figured mum/dad would come over so check what they were doing but they said the visiting other family members then heading home so we headed out to the cafe. Walked in the door and they have egg and bacon rolls on the counter so that sorted out what I was eating. They even made one specifically for Mrs Tigs so that was good. Then we got home and were about to put Tiglet down when my folk turned up, so she got a reprieve from bed. Later that night I decided I might as well watch Liege Bastogne Liege and do some work. Was a good race, made big progress on one of my projects and had a really good night.

    Monday was a holiday and decided not to go to work. Weather was really nice so we went down to the bigger park for a run around on the grass. Tiglet had fun until she decided it was time to go home and put herself back in the pram. Was still fairly tired after being up late so I had a nap when we put her down. Nice dinner (chicken rollups) and then watched the first ep of tomorrow when the war began series. Promising start and we will see how it develops.

    So that was mine, how did you mark the long weekend?

    Excited that GOG finally has Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines.

    Not excited that I paid less for a physical copy nine years ago.

    Hola Tay

    Long weekend report
    - Friday played Twilight Struggle with @trjn. I can see many games of this on steam in my future. Somewhat appropriately, I played the USSR. Won by launching Wargames. ALL GLORY TO THE FATHERLAND COMRADE
    - Saturday went and gave blood then went and modelled for the Terry Pratchett club's merch, os my ugly mug will be all over the website soon. Played board games in the arvo.
    - Sunday tried to enter a 2 headed giant magic event, but the actual event at my FLGS didn't fire because not enough participants. Played a couple of casual games, got comboed out in both although we need a review of the second one as I'm not sure the combo was quite legit.
    - Monday, Pathfound with the Monday Nights with returning guest star @negativezero (lots of fun) then hosted board games at mine. Carcassonne reaffirmed as my favourite.

    Also did a little dark souling in and around it all. Working my way into

    Irithyll of the Boreal Valley
    now.

    A Monday Morning Question: The future submarine project is of great interest here in SA atm. What would you name an Australian submarine?

      HELP ME I'M LEAKING
      Woofer

      Also, most of these could be applied: http://thechive.com/2014/03/26/having-trouble-naming-your-boat-heres-some-thought-starters-30-photos/

    There is a girl in the next cubicle over sorting out cards that have been sitting there on the filing cabinet or whatever forever, and while she's not looking directly at me, it's still very disconcerting having someone standing there within my field of view facing in my direction for all this time. Go away :P

      No small part of our office politics revolve about who's sitting where, and what that means for who you have to look at, and more importantly, who is looking at you. And/or your screen.

        "But it's my turn to look at Transient!"
        "No you had him last week, it's my go!"

          Hah. Not so much. However, that IS the line of reasoning behind why I insisted on not getting one of the anti-glare screens they were offering.

          I need to see that reflection. It's the highlight of my day.

            I remember the office drama of who was around you/could see what you were looking at in my old office. Don't envy that silly nonsense, it's toxic.

              I'm in an open plan office with about 20 other people. I'm just lucky to be on the end near a window and only one person can see my screens while I'm sitting.

              Right now I can see.... 20 or so different work station screens without doing more than turning my head slightly. I couldn't stand to be at any other desk.

              My favourite example of the pure, distilled bullshit of office politics was listening to a committee of concerned individuals secretly lobbying for management to institute a rule whereby ALL people have to label ALL food that goes into the fridge, because they personally wanted to label their food, but didn't want to be seen as the kind of people who label their food.

                What asinine horseshit. You must have been dying inside listening to that.

                Our work fridge was so bad we had to petition our own department getting a fridge due to theft of named items.

                People in television are the worst.

                For example - we had a birthday cake stolen. AN ENTIRE DAMN BIRTHDAY CAKE PURCHASED FOR OVER 30 PEOPLE.

                Last edited 26/04/16 1:25 pm

                @f4ction
                That is the blurst. I mean seriously who does that.
                *presents cake* Happy birthday Paul Barry

              Same as faction im in an open plan office as well but everyone, even my boss browses crap when people are looking. It's kind of a widely accepted philosophy that do what you want online as long as you get your work done. Yeah it's a pretty awesome workplace... =P

          you could set up a pay per view or peep show kind of setup and at least make some money off it ;p

    Welcome back to another season of kermitron's patented 100% accurate Game of Thrones recaps. I know you've all been eagerly anticipating this day, and I'm so pleased that last night's series return was so action packed and full of thrilling twists.

    Game of Thrones season 6 episode 1: 'The Recap Woman'

    Arya decides her brief stint as a drunken marriage counsellor has come to an end and resolves to become a drunken drunk, a job she is thrilled to discover she already meets all the requirements for. Her new boss is firm but fair, and grants her a signing bonus when she vomits on his shoes during the interview.

    Melisandre becomes depressed after going to Burning Man and discovering it doesn't really live up to the hype. In a bid to impress the men of the Night's Watch she makes up stories about all the crazy behaviour she saw, but most of the men got tired of hearing about her plans for Burning Man months ago and the only person who cares is Jon Snow, who mainly asks her to repeat the bits about the girls who only wore body paint over and over again. Melisandre is so happy for the attention she doesn't mind.

    Heartbroken over the discovery that he is not Azor Ahai, chosen prophet of the lord of light, Stannis decides to retire with his wife and daughter. Unable to decide between a beachside home or a nice little radish farm, he choses the worst of both worlds when a dodgy realtor convinces him to buy a piece of land at a place called the "Stony Shore" which is pretty much what you'd expect based on the name.

    Jorah and Drogon lose Daenerys in a poker game, which would be a great introduction to a porno if Emilia Clarke didn't still have a no nudity clause in her contract.

    Having failed to win the heart of Princess Myrcella, Jamie and his pet monkey Bronn run away to join the imperial army, hoping to restore honour to their family.

    Cersei and Margarey agree to marry after the mysterious death of Tommen, but reach an impasse as Westerosi law doesn't permit "co-Queening". with one being the former queen and one being the current queen, it's unclear which of them is more deserving to be the new queen, and which one will have to be king instead. They take turns wearing a fake pants bulge, which becomes a public spectacle and turns them into the most popular rulers since Aegon the Unlikely. A local playwright turns the whole incident into a successfully syndicated sitcom called "Who's the King?".

    After a falling out about who gets the last krispy kreme doughnut, Brinne and Podrick agree to settle their differences the way the Old Gods intended, with a dick measuring contest. Podrick agrees readily assuming he will win by default until Brienne draws her sword and holds the tip to his exposed member, maintaining cold eye contact as she takes the last doughnut and consumes it in a single bite.

    Tired of her really stupid marriage Sansa belittles her tree-husband using a series of tortured tree puns, such as "looks like you're no ironwood" and that she "needs a mighty oak". The tree, oblivious to any kind of humour because it is a tree, woodenly reminds her it's actually a weirwood.

    Tyrion and Varys take a leisurely stroll through the park and exposit dialogue about all the things they did on their summer holidays, which started with firing Arya because they still have no way of paying their marriage counselling bills despite apparently being able to afford fine clothing, food and wine. It's also clear that it's only been about half an hour since the end of the previous season so the list of activities is implausibly long, but reminiscing about things that happened off screen is a great time filler. Varys and Tyrion link arms as they gaze into the sunset and sigh "those were the days".

      I don't watch the show and couldn't bring myself to finish the last book, but...

      "Having failed to win the heart of Princess Myrcella, Jamie"

      Isn't she his daughter?! D:

        This is Lannisters we're talking about, mate.

        I don't know if being familiar with the show makes my recaps worse or better.

        Last edited 27/04/16 9:04 am

      Also your summary is wrong. At the end Varis and Tyrion looked at each other and simultaneously said "Well that was a fine mess you got us into".

        I think we're going to see a lot of crazy, scary changes in season 6.

    Afternoon all!

    Long weekend - went camping, which was nice (aside from the rain!). Then got sick, which was less nice.

    Bought, then proceeded to read, Steelheart, the first book of Brandon Sanderson's Reckoners series. I've been wanting to read his stuff for a while (as discussed last week), but couldn't bring myself to start another fantasy series, so the post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting worked a treat. It was actually a pretty great book, and I'm fairly sure I'm going to go out and buy the rest of the books in the series as soon as I get paid. Maybe once they are done, I'll be able to go back and do the Mistborn series, since I'll have had a bit of a break from the swords and sorcery stuff.

    Also kept playing through Witcher 3 (which is also excellent). Question - how do you get decent Gwent cards? I have terrible ones, all the ones at the merchants I come across seem awful, and I keep playing against people that dump 4 10-strength cards in a row that just ruin me.

      Yeah, playing merchants is where you get most of them. Takes a while to get a solid deck built out.
      Best tip I found for actually playing is: don't always try to win the first round. Better to use round 1 to bait your opponent into committing too much then fold and sweep rounds 2 and 3.

      Opt for strong combos over strong individual cards - my go to deck has a bunch of draw (spies and discard-pullers), Blue Stripes* and Reavers (the 5-ranged unit with bond) and decoys (for pulling back to end the first round, or for reusing enemy spies to get more draw).

      As @jocon says, bait as much of your opponent's strength as you can in the first round, then pull back as much of your strength with decoys as you can and let them win with overwhelming odds. My go-to pattern is to concentrate on card draw (spies) and baiting on the first round, let them win it once they overcommit; then narrowly win the second round by matching them strength for strength and scorching anything that looks dangerous, holding a good combo in reserve for an emergency, then toss the combo down in the last hand, which is usually enough to counter even the best hero cards they have in reserve. I don't really rely on strong hero cards much, myself, outside of to give the second round a bit of extra oomph to ensure the victory without compromising my round-three combo.

      *You can buy some of these fairly early on, and combo'd with a Commander's Horn, they can get to 24 each pretty easily - this is normally the combo I hold onto until the last round. Using the Foltest that clears weather effects and maintaining a card advantage basically ensures I can almost always get this combo for the final round - only really fails against an opponent that basically uses the same tactics as me, at which point I scorch their combo before I complete my own.

      You can buy them in White Orchard, Midcopse and Crow's Perch, iirc, and you can buy a horn at the Crossroads, I think.

        A Nilfgard Medic Deck was my forte.
        All your medics, a bunch of high value normal cards, a bunch of heroes, spies.
        Round 1: play your spies and as many normal cards as you have medics. They commit to beating that, you fold.
        Round 2: Play your weakest remaining card first to see if they are skipping the round. If not, medic back all those cards you played in round 1, + heroes till they inevitably run out of cards. Win.
        The only thing that beat it was another Nilfgard medic deck :P
        @cffndncr

      I'm a big Sanderson fan, and I think Steelheart is one of his weaker books (still a huge fan, so I liked it, just not loved). Latter ones in the trilogy were better, IMO (so you have something to look forward to). Big advantage here is that it's a contained trilogy, it ends nicely, and so you know what you're getting in to. I just finished The Wise Man's Fear, and now I have a seemingly endless wait until the next book (feel bad for the huge number of people who'd already read Rothfuss), plus I'm stuck waiting for the next of Sanderson's epic fantasy.

        I have not read any of Rothfuss' books and all I know about the man is that he has some amazing facial hair. Should I read some of his works?

          The Name of the Wind is a really solid... generic fantasy. Its first two-thirds drag on a bit, there's little that you haven't seen before (though it manages to be quite self aware about this without making it grating), but it still manages to be enjoyable throughout.

          So uhh, sure. Read it, except that if you like it you'll end up joining the horde of people impatiently waiting for the third book.

            Doesn't sound great. I've got a huge backlog so maybe not.

              Even with what I mentioned, it's still really good, I'm just a lot cooler on it than the general consensus. Second book was better, kept the momentum up.

      I picked up all the Reckoners books recently and they're on my todo list once I get through the last of the Wax & Wayne novels, plus Warbreaker. On hold because I have a huge stack of light novel stuff I want to get through first, plus the original novelization of Another.

    Ohhhhhh. Reading DS3 patch notes and a random tidbit turned up in the comments...

    Poise has been disabled (for players) in Dark Souls 3. It serves literally no purpose for players. Which is why my havel gear was getting stunlocked by dogs that one time.

    Time to free up some weight restrictions!

      As in, the latest patch did that, or that's how the game's been running since day 1?

        That's how the game's been running since day one. Player Poise is turned off, enemy poise is turned on. So that's why you can't stagger knights until you get some really good hits in, but you can run around in champion grundyr's gear and get staggered by a hollow's thrown dagger.

        A dude got a ban from posting a video explain how it was done specifically in the code, so they had to re-post around it, obscuring the exact method for the 'cheat' (ie: putting things back the way they FUCKING SHOULD BE).

        Naturally, there are assholes out there complaining that poise shouldn't be patched back in because it will mean that people wearing heavy armour might not be so easily stun-locked by the playstyle they prefer - daggers/straight-swords. Because the main point of heavy armour is obviously to look fat, not have functional benefits, and death to any change that makes the game feel less like Bloodborne, I guess? Or they're arguing that just because they're assholes.

      Wait what? That's either a pretty big bug or a silly design decision.

        Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Get on board and equip fast weapons and light armour, just like Bloodborne!!!!!! Because obviously that's what everyone wants from Dark Souls: be more like Bloodborne.

        *frowns*

        It's a very simple value to change, the guy who found it could switch it on and off at will. Which means it's intentional for some fucked up reason.

          Yo, I'mma let you finish, but Bloodborne is fucking great.

            DARK SOULS IS NOT BLOODBORNE AND SHOULD NOT BE

            *RAGES*

            Gimme back my heavy armour and greatsword build! I'm only using a straight-sword because it's ungodly effective against invaders because it staggers people immediately!

            Tellyawhut though, I've nearly finished Dark Souls 3 and it's giving me an urge to go back and finish Bloodborne. I got seriously de-motivated once I discovered I'd permanently locked out an entire area (hypogeon jail?) due to never getting killed by a snatcher (I've heard people complain about them, but the first one I killed gave a rare and crucial weapon upgrade material so from that point on I made it my mission to farm them), and locked out of tonnes of quest-lines due to killing Rom waaaaaay too early. That was depressing to realize. Also, srs lack of fashion souls.

            Last edited 26/04/16 2:16 pm

              Whaaaaat Bloodborne has amazing fashion https://twitter.com/redartifice/status/635007090440835072

              Also, you go to the Hypogeon Gaol later on, and you get to fight Paaaaaaaaaaarl

              If I hadn't played Bloodborne, I wouldn't be playing Dark Souls 3

                But... I think I already fought Paarl? Oh, what little fashion that is there is great, but it's not Dark Souls. I never had a reason to switch from the hunter set I found first. Stats and appearance were better on it than anything I encountered since. That is for sad-making. You should be excited to get gear, not disappointed!

                  There were a whole bunch of things that mattered on your gear stats, especially frenzy resistance and poison resistance.

                  Main difference is there was never gear that was "strictly better," it all had its uses

                  Last edited 26/04/16 2:38 pm

                  Stats and appearance were better on it than anything I encountered since. That is for sad-making. You should be excited to get gear, not disappointed!You just summed up The Division...

                Nah. I never finished BB but the difference between, for example, no fire resist and the best fire resist gear available, was pretty much nothing in practice.

          I'd say it's about as intentional as the halved durability glitch in 60FPS DS2 Scholar of the whatever...

          But being a Japanese company they might be a little more, how can I put this ... culturally predisposed ... to aggressively asserting that everything is intentional and no mistakes have been made.

      Eh, PvP is silly anyway. All my invaders thus far have killed me by by either kicking my shield from five metres away and riposting from outside my attack range, or triggering a backstab while 45 degrees to my left but still quite obviously 2-3m in front of me. The hitboxes are so broken in PvP, or it's so laggy, that it breaks what's so beautifully fair about the rest of the game's combat mechanics.

      Last edited 26/04/16 2:59 pm

        I've been doing OK with the lag, and probably just thanks to being unreasonably cautious (rolling a lot, lowering shield when I suspect an impending kick), and making good use of the lack of poise by staggering opponents with a very, very, awfully hard-hitting straight sword. (Also, the dark sword allows you to roll then thrust after the roll, which can catch folks by surprise.)

        As the perpetual defender (have never invaded), there's a definite edge in having double the estus of invaders, so even the really good fighters who don't just succumb to a couple quick combos end up getting worn down to no estus before I do. (That's when they start taking risks, which funnily enough actually makes things easier).

        The only times I've had any problems have been when getting ganged up on by multiple invaders. (Always kind of funny when a hostile mound-maker changes his mind and goes after an invading blue spirit, though. "The enemy of my enemy IS ALSO MY ENEMY!") If that happens I usually go running back to the nearest bonfire, looking for summon signs to even the odds. I rarely remember to go back and grab giant seeds in anticipation of that. Been caught out a couple times when no signs decide to turn up. Can usually kill the first, then die to the second. Such is the price of always having an ember up.

          I'll just find a tall cliff after I beat a boss and dispose of the embered status. I can't counter an opponent who isn't where they appear to be, so trying to deal with invaders is pointless - better to just prevent them from invading entirely.

          Hell, co-ops occasionally not much better - Aldritch died to a stoically skating Solaire-mannequin, if my playthrough were to be believed.

          My lagtastic strategy has basically been a recognition that I can swing more times than most people's blocking stamina.

          Man, sounds like you had a totally different Souls experience to me. I was invaded 3 times total.
          One guy in Farron Keep who I tricked into getting lost then logged off 20 mins later.
          One in Archdragon peak who lag-backstabbed me at the bonfire. And one on the path to the final boss who I shield-bashed off a cliff :P

            I did have one guy who invaded in Irithyll and didn't kill me; he spotted me from a distance and ran away to port home. That's the kind of PvP I like - victory through intimidation and superior fashion sense. :P

              Oh no wait: 4. One guy in Consumed Kings Garden actually waited till I was done killing mobs and was healed up then we had a legit duel. Which I lost, but still.

                Yeah, I lost a legit duel in the castle. Dude started by bowing, so I bowed back. He didn't try to kite me into mobs that were in the next room, but easily could have. And when I got him low on health, he wasn't using estus. So I did the same. It was a fair fight and he got me, in the end. But he deserved it for not being a miserable, cheap s.o.b..

                Kinda makes me feel bad about the duels I've won. People do the decent thing of duelling honourably they should at least get SOMETHING for their efforts.

                  I had a really nice fair duel.

                  Admittedly, I summoned the dude in, but still.

                  Summoned him in next to the bonfire, started throwing the Hello Carving. He turned up, bowed, I bowed back, started (mostly) dodging his attacks, and following them up with more Hello Carving.

                  An NPC patrolled nearby, so he sat down, let me kill it, and then we engaged in a proper duel.

                  A proper duel where he murdered me, but I felt good about it.

            Two major PVP hotspots seemed to be the halfway ruins on the road to sacrifice - couldn't walk more than a couple metres in that swamp without getting invaded by watchdogs - and the path from Pontiff to Anor Londo. Was getting two at once every few minutes.

            Kept on running back to re-summon sunbros and white phantoms who'd either murder or get murdered by the purples, reds, and blues. Must've fought a dozen PVP battles before I could even get up the steps to the greatbow archers.

            Wrong place, wrong level bracket I guess. :P Very decent soulsgain, though.

    So all the Dota 2 peeps - holy shit, 6.87! Timber buffs! \o/

      Ugh no, Timber is the bane of my squishy support life.

        I pretty much instalock Timber whenever someone on the other team picks Enchantress. Burst that squishy biatch down for daaaaayyyzzzzzz! The new force staff upgrade is going to make it interesting (and they are definitely going to have to fix the 'hit you from the fountain' thingo, especially with Chant.

        But let's be honest, BH is the only viable support at the moment, amiright? Pick BH -> Win game.

    Hey @dogman

    Just wondering if you grabbed my email address?

    Uni is going to be pretty intense for the next 5 weeks or so, but still keen to be involved in some 40K

      Ahh crap. Never saw the message. I was actually going to ask you again this morning.

        Ok cool
        Edited to prevent heresy!

        Last edited 26/04/16 8:59 pm

          Ok, I just added you to the conversation so you can edit that out.

          Last edited 26/04/16 8:58 pm

            MORE PEOPLE PLAYING 40K IS ALWAYS GOOD. We should actually set a date to start a game session otherwise I'm never going to get to work on tables and painting my stuff.

            Also, I can't stop making new 500 point lists. HALP.

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