As if monsters and superheroes weren’t enough, General Mills is now recruiting members of America’s finest cookie-selling force into his nigh-unstoppable breakfast army. The Girl Scouts have landed in cereal bowls, and Snacktaku responds in the only way we know how.
Here at Snacktaku, we’ve long kicked around the idea of doing a review of the Girl Scouts’ baked offerings, but the idea of sampling each flavour in a single video proved too daunting. Plus we kept eating them before setting up the camera.
Along comes General Mills, commander of all things oat, corn, wheat and milk-soaked, with a much more manageable pair of edible Girl Scout products.
Snacktaku’s office looks exactly like this, down to the bowl of fruit.
Leveraging two of the most popular Girl Scout cookie flavours, General Mills brings the taste of waiting for several weeks for your co-worker’s daughter to get her shit together to breakfast tables. We have Thin Mints, based on the chocolate mint cookie of the same name, and Caramel Crunch, because eating a heaping bowl of Samoas is offensive to Samoans, especially in our post-Moana world.
Before diving in, Snacktaku predicted that Thin Mints cereal would be horrible and wrong, while Caramel Crunch would share a flavour profile with the Caramel Popcorn variety of Cap’n Crunch, from rival breakfast army Quaker Oats.
Wrong on both counts, Snacktaku.
Turns your milk brownishly!
Chocolate mint did not sound like a delicious breakfast combination, but we underestimated the effect of cold milk on Thin Mints cereal. Though individual pieces came on a bit strong and the mint scent was slightly overpowering, once awash in cold milk the flavours blend together to form a sort of mint chocolate chip ice cream jam. Snacktaku is a big fan of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
As for Samoa Cereal (it is, dammit!), the caramel popcorn flavour is there, but the pieces are also flecked with cocoa and instilled with a mild coconut flavour. It’s exactly like eating a bowl of tiny Samoa cookies, only without getting caramel and coconut stuck between your teeth.
Fine. You win this round, General Mills, but now that we’ve tasted greatness, we’re craving more. Bring on the Tagalong cereal. Our mouths are ready.
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