Moving house sucks. Not because of all the cleaning, the stupid grief your neighbours give you when you’re taking fridges and washers out of your apartment, and not because of the hassle of dealing with real estate agencies.
The main reason it sucks is because once you’ve moved house, you’ve got everything in and you’re finally ready to relax, there’s one major problem: you don’t have internet. So if you find yourself in a similar situation, or your internet is going to be down for whatever reason, here’s 14 games that are perfect to pass the time.
Small tip for those on PC: to make your internet-less life much, much easier, make sure you tell your various game launchers to connect to “Offline Mode” while you’re still connected to the internet. This doesn’t help if the internet drops out on you randomly, but if you’re moving house or you know you’re going to be in transition for a while, it’s a crucial step.
GOG Galaxy doesn’t mind quite so much, but if you forget this step with Steam, Origin or Uplay you’ll have to tether your mobile phone to get everything going. The PS4 and Xbox One, should be entirely fine, and the Switch does just fine offline as well.
Nuclear Throne
Sometimes after a day of sweeping, cleaning, scrubbing and inhabiting God knows how many cleaning chemicals, all you want to do is watch things explode.
Nuclear Throne understands.
Gauntlet
It’s better if you’ve got a partner who is similarly strapped of internet, but Gauntlet – which was free for PS+ members a while ago – can be a good way to burn an hour or so. The spell-combining system is miles more fluid than Magicka ever was, and it’s easy enough to get into the monster-slaying action without the amount of traversal and backstory Diablo 3 makes you wade through. (Although if you have a week or so without internet, Reaper of Souls or The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing might be worth grabbing.)
Mini Metro
Thinking about not having internet is often a frustrating, depressing experience. You’re cut off from the world. You can’t check your social feeds. You’re missing out on all the updates that might finally fix those BSODs you’ve been having. And then there’s annoyance of not getting patches that might resolve the frame rate drops that latest AAA release is suffering.
But it’s OK. Mini Metro will look after you. It’s peaceful. Charming. Minimal. Pretty. And most importantly, it lets you design a transport network in the most diabolical way possible, giving you some catharsis for all those times you sat on public transport wondering what a properly designed metro network might be like.
Point-and-click Adventures
Not having internet is undignified. The world seems so much slower. But since that’s the case, you might as well use that peace and quiet to unravel some mysteries. There’s a myriad of classic point-and-click adventures on Good Old Games that don’t need an internet connection at all, so you don’t need to worry about authenticating or pesky gigabyte-sized patches out of nowhere. The downside is that you’ll probably get internet back before you finish, oh, any of them, but it’s helpful to kill the time.
As for which point-and-clicks, there’s the Grim Fandango remasters on multiple platforms. The Wolf Among Us is great way to fill a couple of nights after work, and if you want a real challenge The Dagger of Amon Ra was recently re-released on GOG. Good times for all.
NieR: Automata
If there’s something you need when you’re pondering the frustration of being without internet in 2017, it’s a distraction. And what better distraction could there be about a video game featuring combat androids that changes genre every hour or so, a game five main endings and another 20 “joke” endings? It’s ridiculous in all the best ways, and there’s no better way to ignore your lack of connection to the world than by commanding robots who spend a lot of time blowing shit up.
Civilization VI
You’ve got plenty of time, so why not take one turn or 1000? You won’t be able to enjoy the multiplayer side of Civ VI without internet, but most people play singleplayer anyway. (And most people don’t have time for a full Civ VI game, to be fair.)
Jagged Alliance 2
It’ll probably take you a solid night or two to actually get Jagged Alliance 2 going these days: it’s not the friendliest retro game to boot up. And you’ll want to have downloaded a few mods beforehand. And then you’ll want to take your time going through the psych profile opening quiz. And then you’ll need a night or two to wrap your head around all the systems at play.
By that time, your internet will finally be back. And once you’ve got through all of the above, you’ll get to play one of the better strategy games of the late 90’s.
Freelancer
It’ll take you about 10 hours to blast through the campaign, even if you spend a bit of time detouring for special weapons hiding amongst nebula or what not. Freelancer is still 10 hours of fun even in 2017, and the nostalgia trip is powerful enough to make you forget about the fury you’re ready to unleash on the Telstra technician because he just postponed the damn phone line appointment again.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
You’ve still got plenty of shrines to finish and bits of Hyrule to explore. And seeing as you won’t be watching any new series on Netflix anytime soon, you might as well journey through Hyrule on the loo (or in bed, the kitchen, or anywhere else that also doesn’t have a functioning internet connection).
Phantasmagoria 2: A Puzzle of Flesh
You’ve got time to kill, so sit back, relax, grab a stiff drink and then enjoy one of the weirder FMV games around. I won’t lie to you by saying Phantasmagoria 2 is fun, but the crappy puzzles, hammy acting means the game improves every time a character gets killed off. Enjoy by yourself or with a crowd: Phantasmagoria 2 is the party movie you never knew you’d enjoy.
Unreal Tournament 2004
Frustrated with the hassle of moving, but want something a little more visceral and sports-like than Nuclear Throne? Grab some bots and start bashing the Liandri ladder to pieces. A perfect option if you just want to shut your brain off and work off that excess adrenaline from dealing boxes, UT2004 is as enjoyable today as it ever was. Still a good game at LAN, too.
Planet Coaster
You won’t be able to enjoy the myriad of creations available through the Steam Workshop, but Planet Coaster is still a good way to unwind nonetheless. And all that extra headspace not occupied by everything the internet provides can you give extra creative space for making the diabolical rollercoaster of your dreams. Or you could recreate your living space and have a ride run through that, if you’re so inclined.
Warcraft 3
One of the best singleplayer campaigns in a real-time strategy game, Warcraft 3 is good fun when you don’t have internet because, well, not many people are still playing it online anyway. And given that the StarCraft remaster is just around the corner, you might as well spend some offline time strolling down memory lane.
Bloodborne
It might not run at 60fps with the PS4 Pro, but the loading times have been vastly improved. And since it’s probably been a while since you’ve run through Old Yharnam, why not fire up Bloodborne and get caught out by the enemies of darkness (hiding in darkness, behind walls, or anywhere where the camera can’t see) all over again?
What are your favourite games to play when you don’t have internet?
Comments
36 responses to “14 Games To Play When Your Internet Is Down”
Rimworld if you want a newer game
Fallout 2 if you want an older game
Both will last you countless hours and give you more options for different playthroughs than you’ll ever be able to complete.
If I edit my comment it’ll get lost in moderation hell, so I’ll add this here:
If you want a game where you bascially just relax and don’t have to use your brain too much?
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
It’s silly fun in the vein of Game Dev Story.
+ 1 for Rimworld. Excellent game.
Just remember: Raiders don’t deserve mercy.
They deserve to have their organs harvested, their flesh turned into simple meals or kibble and their skins made into cowboy hats. Yeehaw!
So I don’t understand much at all about the need for WiFi and online and my son is 6 yrs old our WiFi sucks so I’m looking for games that do not require those 2 things ,, any suggestions I was thinking cars as in lightning McQueen but idk if that will work he likes racing games like car races etc and fighting and shooting games
How about a nice game of Solitaire?
I have a share account, going halves on most of my games. They’re all digital, and my master account is on someone else’s PS4, which means when the PSN licensing server or the internet goes down, I have no access to them.
But I got Skyrim Special Edition for these rare occasions.
Also got Dishonored 2, Bloodborne, Fallout 4 and Dark Souls 3 on disc due to collectors editions. But I already platinumed those, so unlikely to go back to them.
#15. A few rounds of Go Outside in the Sunshine and Fresh Air.
Boo!
That wouldn’t have made my top 10 either 😉
There’s always gotta be one, doesn’t there?
Good advice. We could even visit our new neighbour, Cyclone Debbie.
But the graphics suck, the NPCs are all stuck in aggressive mode, cars kill you, can’t respawn, no save system, the economy is terrible, the cheats don’t work, and the rules make for terrible gameplay… and worst of all, you’re stuck in a crappy modern setting!
Horizon was ace without a connection. Also relevant due to the theme of the game.
Much moreso than Bloodborne, which you need co-op hunters for if you don’t want to keep dying and dying and dying to bosses.
Seriously, if I hadn’t had co-op partners for Ludwig I might have gone insane before beating him.
I know, right. But then I felt cheap and lame for using help. Haha.
I think patches added more NPCs to that game.
As in a patch, not Patches the Spider.
Yeah there are a fair few, but for the hardest bosses in the DLC (in my opinion) your options are severely limited or non-existant.
No old hunter summons for Maria or Orphan of Kos, only a single summon for Ludwig, although Valtr is probably the best old hunter in the DLC.Oh! Fair enough.
Gotta say, though, those two without NPC summons are some of the best duels in a Souls game.
The last boss of the first Dark Souls 3 can go to hell though.
Kind of the reason why I want to get the most games on GoG as I can. Just incase the internet wants to go all Australian on me. (Also knowing how much I’m paying in AUD is nice too.)
Jagged Alliance 2 for $13 on GOG. Expensive, but worth it!
Definitely. Nothing better than knowing you have the game permanently no matter what happens and you will never be restricted from playing it. If I see games on both Steam and GoG I will always try to choose the GoG one.
Total Annihilation.
I dont see the point of this list, you can pretty much play any game that isn’t online multiplayer.
Agreed. Totally redundant article.
I didn’t get internet connected for the first six months of moving into my current place in 2013. Was a great opportunity to go through a bunch of older PS3 games and clear them off the backlog. Replayed Arkham City, played Far Cry 3, it was fun
My go to win no internet is my old Snes collection with games like: The secret of Mana, Super Mario RPG, Secret of Evermore and Terranigma.
The old RPGs are great for no internet and triggering nostalgia.
Oh look, it’s Scribbletaku ;).
Do you mean inhaling chemicals or inhabiting them, because the latter sounds amazing.
This War of Mine has been my goto offline game for the last few weeks. It’s a serious time killer.
I’m partial to the little hoppy dinosaur Chrome game, myself.
PSA: If you’re going to play Jagged Alliance 2 (and you should, it’s amazing), make sure you upgrade to v1.13.
But with no internet, we have no way to get your fancy patches!
There’s always sneakernet.
But that involves going “out there”…. “Out there” is scary.
Bloodborne really is a spectacular game.
I had to do just this last night as my net had been out for nearly 20 hours already (thanks Dodo). So I played The Witness on my PC and thoroughly enjoyed it.. most of the puzzles I cottoned on to fairly quickly but some totally elude me as to what the symbols mean, trying to do it myself without spoilers / guides so will persevere with the game even thought the net is now back on.
still wait for any thing like Freelancer this LAN or WAN support, still my fav space game.