What Would You Say To Aliens?

Random conversation at work. We're standing around, having a chat, and then the question pops up: "What would you say to aliens?"

For this week's Big Question, let's throw it out there. Humans have finally been visited by a sentient species from, well, who knows where.

They send envoys down. Some of them meet with world leaders, governments, other heads of state. And then others mingle around the populace. See what humans are like.

You're buying coffee. Or going to Coles and grabbing some stuff. And an Alien runs into you and decides to start up a chat.

Assuming they don't know what you're like - they're starting a conversation to learn more, after all - what do you say?

What would you say to an alien, or aliens?


    There are only two truly meaningful things you can do when you meet an alien lifeform, fight or fuck, and I'm not much of a fighter.

    Do you think I look better in millennial pink or gen z yellow?

    "Don't judge humans too harshly - we're not all like Donald Trump"

    "Why the anal probes?"

      "It wasn't as good for you as it was for us?"

      Alternatively they might say "we initially had bad intelligence on you're reproductive orifices.. sorry".

    "So... have you good sentients heard about the number... twenty-three?" *wiggles eyebrows*

    If being serious? I might say "Hello. What our leaders, business interests and their appendaged organisations tell you will probably be different what you hear from the rest of us. The majority of us also have very different beliefs and ideals from each other. Whatever plans you have with us, hopefully jointly beneficial, take this in account".

    I might add the proverb: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

    But hey they might be here for more anal probing so the above might be irrelevant =)

    We're argumentative, self destructive and spiteful towards each other and while we have the ability to be wholly compassionate towards others and produce amazing works of art/science/imagination ... maybe take like 3 steps waaaaay back till we get ourselves sorted.

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now