The Sonic Crocs Are Fine, But I Am Going To Goof Anyway

The Sonic Crocs Are Fine, But I Am Going To Goof Anyway

Crocs have gotten a bad wrap for years now, with many people saying they’re ugly, strange, borderline-barefoot, squeaky, unerotic, and many other things. I would disagree, and argue that it doesn’t matter what shoes you wear, we are all going to decompose eventually and nothing will matter anymore.

(Editor’s note: Are you ok — David)

In the meantime though, Crocs is releasing Sonic the Hedgehog Crocs! Gotta go fast!

The croslite-clog-making fiends over at Crocs have teamed up with SEGA on a pair of Crocs that resemble the kind of shoes a certain blue hedgehog would wear when he’s gardening, making a quick and hopefully unseen trip to the nearest cafe, or even making an appearance at the funeral of somebody he does not respect.

The kicks (can I even call them that) will be available in Toddler, Kids, and Adult sizes from May 24th, according to Polygon, and will come equipped with Jibitz, such as the Chaos Emerald and a Ring. As well, there are a set of Sonic and his friends as detached heads for you to enjoy, too.

In case you’ve forgotten what The Sonic Bible says: the Chaos Emeralds are made up of “all the inert energy of every gross and disgusting impulse or deed done by humans since the beginning of time” (Sonic Bible, p. 11), so one could really complete the look by putting as many of them as their can on their Sonic the HedgeCrocs.

Jokes aside, they’re fine. It’s all fine. As a Croc wearer myself, I feel more than equipped to make all the jokes I like. While these wouldn’t be my Crocs of choice, someone could potentially have their Cinderella moment with them, and I think that’s just beautiful.

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