I’ve been thinking a lot about how great actors end up in bad movies. Maybe it was prompted by Madame Web somehow trapping Euphoria star Sydney Sweeney, but it’s always sad seeing someone whose craft you admire working with bad material. Anyway, the first Borderlands live-action movie trailer is out today, and it features some iconic A-list talent like Cate Blanchett as Lilith, Jack Black as Claptrap, and Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis. Kevin Hart is also here.
Look, I’m not trying to make too-quick a judgment call on Lionsgate’s attempt to bring Gearbox’s wacky, zany, often crude shooter RPG to the big screen, but this trailer is giving Kirkland Signature Guardians of the Galaxy, without any of the wit. Everybody’s yelling, there are extended bodily fluid jokes, and it’s all set to “Do Ya” by The Moves. This is only two minutes of what will be a 90-minute+ movie, but it sure doesn’t do much to make the movie look actually funny—or like it’s a great use of the time and talent involved.
I like Borderlands, mostly. I enjoyed my time with the mainline games, but more than that, I feel Tales from the Borderlands is secretly Telltale Games’ best episodic adventure game. But this trailer feels like a supercut of Borderlands’ most unfunny tendencies. These games can be pretty amusing, but it’s more like every third joke gets a chuckle out of you, and the other two that came before are usually just crude or edgelord shit. It’s hardly a series I associate with highbrow humor, but I guess I would have expected to laugh at least once watching the trailer. Instead, we get extended piss and poop jokes. Oh, but the poop joke is from a robot voiced by Jack Black. Isn’t it so silly?
The movie recreates a lot of the known visual elements of the Borderlands games, albeit without the usual coat of cel-shaded paint. There are masked Psychos, the desolate wastelands of Pandora look close enough, but damn, poor Blanchett’s bright red wig is giving discount cosplay. I don’t know, y’all. I wasn’t expecting much, but toilet humor and one-liners do not give a great first impression. You might argue that Borderlands can’t facilitate much else, but if you think that, you should go play Tales from the Borderlands. The series has plenty of potential in the right hands.
At least everyone involved is finally getting to put the movie out and move on with their lives. A Borderlands live-action movie has been in various forms of development hell for almost a decade, with plans originally set into motion in 2015. Hostel director Eli Roth was finally given the director’s chair in 2020, with Blanchett’s casting following shortly after. After some reshoots in 2023, the movie will premiere on August 9.
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